Sorry for being cliche but since you have time and energy to worry about being "successful" it means you are already successful. All your basic needs are taken care of, otherwise it wouldn't even appear to you ask this question. The freedom to worry about "success" is a privilege few people on this planet can afford.
Ask HN: How to stop feeling depressed about whether you will be successful?
111–120 of 122 posts
Re: Ask HN: How to stop feeling depressed about whether you will be successful?
#112You need to define “successful”. To me success goes like this: physically healthy, emotionally connected to your close family, a place to stay, enough money to eat and take care of you and your loved ones if you’re not single (spouse, children). That’s alteady a lot. Luck is a big part of that success so if you can check all these boxes, you’re doing very well. Oh... and the rest is 100% extra.
Re: Ask HN: How to stop feeling depressed about whether you will be successful?
#113YMMV but I'd encourage you to take a break from consuming "success porn" online. That's my broad term for: Social media: because people curate everything and only post things that make their lives look amazing. Real life isn't a constant string of wins, success, and happiness. Don't let it distort your view and wonder why your life isn't the same. Startup news: TechCrunch, Recode, Bus. Insider, and even here on HN. P…
Any non-"success porn" sites you might recommend? I know this differs between people but I'd be interested to know what sites you view as the opposite of those listed.
For example https://failory.com/, http://autopsy.io/
Re: Ask HN: How to stop feeling depressed about whether you will be successful?
#114Earlier quoted context omitted.
Absolutely. Decreasing the amount of time I spent on social media has increased the quality of my life by at least 10 times. Before I used to feel intimidated going to the gym, posting on my tech blog, simply because everyone else was just doing it better than myself or at least I believed so and cared. When I went on to actually do and enjoy things, I noticed how everything is so imperfect and how in essence I do no…
"In fact, I’m a lot more proud of these seven new bookshelves that I had to get installed to hold two thousand new books that I bought." Tai Lopez is the definition of the word humblebrag.
When did "humblebrag" become synonymous with just bragging?
Re: Ask HN: How to stop feeling depressed about whether you will be successful?
#115YMMV but I'd encourage you to take a break from consuming "success porn" online. That's my broad term for: Social media: because people curate everything and only post things that make their lives look amazing. Real life isn't a constant string of wins, success, and happiness. Don't let it distort your view and wonder why your life isn't the same. Startup news: TechCrunch, Recode, Bus. Insider, and even here on HN. P…
Any non-"success porn" sites you might recommend? I know this differs between people but I'd be interested to know what sites you view as the opposite of those listed.
Facebook? Just have friends less successful than you ;)
Re: Ask HN: How to stop feeling depressed about whether you will be successful?
#116Be Marcus Aurelius. Become a stoic. Think more of virtue than of success. Success is a hollow word, like in nutrition “it’s an empty calorie”. Rather focus on the virtues of your life. Those are life-giving, filled with “soul nutrients”. So ... dammit man: Feed the cat. Take the dog for a walk. If that’s all you do today, you made it. Help a struggling neighbour make that rent payment just this month - do it anonymou…
> Be Marcus Aurelius. Become a stoic.
Great advice. I was naturally stoic, but the daily rigors were chipping away my stoicness. A book I'd recommend reading "A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy" to reset your thinking and paying attention to what is really important in life.
Re: Ask HN: How to stop feeling depressed about whether you will be successful?
#117Smaller goals, easily achievable.
This is true both for you, or if you're teaching to someone else. By creating smaller goals, you can achieve them and get a sense of satisfaction, which is very important to move forward.
Once you get use to this, you can extend the scope of your goals, and you'll get smart enough to view even failures as partial successes, learn from what you did bad, and build upon what you did right. But if you never experience the satisfaction, you'll never be able to distinguish it in the chaos of dissatisfaction and failure.
I'd recommend starting with 1 small easily achievable activity per week for a month or two, and grow from there. This may include publish a 1min-read blog post, create a small webpage, read N articles, etc. Don't overthink where you want to go, just start by getting things done.
Re: Ask HN: How to stop feeling depressed about whether you will be successful?
#118Be Marcus Aurelius. Become a stoic. Think more of virtue than of success. Success is a hollow word, like in nutrition “it’s an empty calorie”. Rather focus on the virtues of your life. Those are life-giving, filled with “soul nutrients”. So ... dammit man: Feed the cat. Take the dog for a walk. If that’s all you do today, you made it. Help a struggling neighbour make that rent payment just this month - do it anonymou…
Great insight. Been down and overwhelmed lately.It's easy to get stuck in grind mode and not take time to look around and remember what actually matters.
I would think like this. Is my "grind":
1) About filling up a bucket that has a hole in it (same shit different day type of thing?)
OR is my grind
2) About a journey I am on - and I've got a steep gradient ahead, a puncture or maybe I'm out of gas?
If it is 1, then please, my dearest friend, either make it strictly a 9-5 affair or find another job. I just visited my cousin in hospital who was admitted after he collapsed with cardiac arrhythmia while at dinner with his family. He's been working too hard at his new job, 4-5 hours of sleep every night and two hours commute.
If it is 2, and the end is worth it, take a break. Replenish your commitment and march on through hell. (Exercise, especially HIIT, helps with energy levels)
Arete!
Re: Ask HN: How to stop feeling depressed about whether you will be successful?
#119> How to stop feeling depressed about whether you will be successful?
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ― Viktor E. Frankl
You may find Frankl an excellent read for perspective > https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4069.Man_s_Search_for_Me...
Re: Ask HN: How to stop feeling depressed about whether you will be successful?
#120Earlier quoted context omitted.
"In fact, I’m a lot more proud of these seven new bookshelves that I had to get installed to hold two thousand new books that I bought." Tai Lopez is the definition of the word humblebrag.
When did "humblebrag" become synonymous with just bragging?
When people stopped caring being humble