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Is Loneliness a Health Epidemic?

nytimes.com

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Re: Is Loneliness a Health Epidemic?

#151

Post by marnett »

eeZah7Ux wrote: post #82
humanrebar wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The previous generation also went to church. A sizable minority of the current generations still do, though it seems to be impolite to discuss or recommend.

Church attendance has been the biggest social event of the week for perhaps the majority of people in Europe for perhaps the last 10 centuries. Now that most people are fed up with dogmatism and theism the social aspect is gone as a side effect. We need a replacement. An interesting experiment was carried out in the eastern block: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palace_of_Culture

> fed up with dogmatism and theism

I was raised religious. I too became entranced with seeking the truth; however, secularism does not have the same 'social-networks as a side-effect' institutions as religion does.

Many want to hate on religion, but even the religious would say enduring the dogma for the kind, accepting social interactions that occur before and after is just what one does.

Re: Is Loneliness a Health Epidemic?

#152

Post by DougN7 »

montecarl wrote: post #144
tekkk wrote: post #135

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Now that I started to think about it how does one create deep relationships? It never occurred to me that I should be taught these things. It has just sorta happened, at times at least. Nowadays I only wonder how I used to be much closer to people but the idea of creating stronger friendships is vague. Is is just by hanging around long enough with other people? Or should we actively seek to bring up issues that we ca…

I think one of the best ways to create deep relationships is to actively help others. Your co-worker mentions that they are moving next month: offer to help move. Your friend's kids are sick and they are stuck at home caring for them: bring them dinner. If you have some older friends (maybe from church) there are often things around the house they might need help with. Once you have helped someone once, your name wil…

> I think one of the best ways to create deep relationships is to actively help others.

+1

You can help someone directly, and you'll become close to that someone. Or as a group help someone and you'll become closer to that group. Service really is the magic bullet.

Re: Is Loneliness a Health Epidemic?

#153

Post by amelius »

Maybe a cliche, but if you're in the pit of loneliness, perhaps a good strategy is to get a dog. You will have a friend, it allows you to practice your communication skills (good for introvert people), and it can help getting into contact with others. Downside of course is that you can't leave the house for longer periods.

Re: Is Loneliness a Health Epidemic?

#154

Post by DougN7 »

davesque wrote: post #132
inceptionnames wrote: post #124

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Mothers really keep the family together, even in their old age.

Absolutely. She was a social and emotional hub for us and one of my best friends...fuck. Life's a damn trip.

My mother is (thankfully) still alive, so I hope I can take the naive advice I'm going to give you: you could try to become that hub. I know when my brothers initiate something (like a surprise birthday party for Mom), we're all excited to jump on board.

Re: Is Loneliness a Health Epidemic?

#155

Post by atomical »

montecarl wrote: post #144
tekkk wrote: post #135

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Now that I started to think about it how does one create deep relationships? It never occurred to me that I should be taught these things. It has just sorta happened, at times at least. Nowadays I only wonder how I used to be much closer to people but the idea of creating stronger friendships is vague. Is is just by hanging around long enough with other people? Or should we actively seek to bring up issues that we ca…

I think one of the best ways to create deep relationships is to actively help others. Your co-worker mentions that they are moving next month: offer to help move. Your friend's kids are sick and they are stuck at home caring for them: bring them dinner. If you have some older friends (maybe from church) there are often things around the house they might need help with. Once you have helped someone once, your name wil…

I have rewarding conversations with people I go on a walk with or have a drink with. If was helping people who are unavailable emotionally because they have some other shit to figure out I don't think I would get as much out of it.

Re: Is Loneliness a Health Epidemic?

#156

Post by maxxxxx »

kakarot wrote: post #109
maxxxxx wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"There's nothing that indicates either of our experiences can be generalized." Please don't try to generalize. We all have very different needs and what works for one person doesn't work for the other. Acknowledgement and respect of this would be true diversity and inclusion.

I'm confused by what you mean. I was arguing against generalization in this case?

It sounded to me like you would like to find a generalization. Sorry if I misunderstood you.

The tendency to generalize things is one of my pet peeves around health issues, physical or mental. Some things work for everybody but a lot of things may work for one person, but not the other.

Re: Is Loneliness a Health Epidemic?

#157

Post by owebmaster »

eeZah7Ux wrote: post #102
iak8god wrote: post #91

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How about "[men] are conditioned to hide our mental health and true feelings/emotions"

Much better. "we are prone to hide our mental health and true feelings/emotions" sounds like it's nature rather than nurture. [EDIT: why the downvotes, again?]

I'm asking the same myself. But we all know the answer. HN is a dictatorial space that uses censorship to unify its opinion in a liberal banner. If you have progressive ideas you are out of the club.

Re: Is Loneliness a Health Epidemic?

#158

Post by owebmaster »

iak8god wrote: post #91
owebmaster wrote: post #81

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I think loneliness is especially bad for men as we are prone to hide our mental health and true feelings/emotions Don't put the blame on the victims. Modern society doesn't discuss and give relevance to the problems of individual men in the way it does to women's problems.

How about "[men] are conditioned to hide our mental health and true feelings/emotions"

How about "men have difficult lifes the same way women have so this creates problems that we should be better prepared to discuss and solve?"

Re: Is Loneliness a Health Epidemic?

#159

Post by overcast »

hestipod wrote: post #105
overcast wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think your first course of action is improving your attitude. You start out with a cry for help about your problems, depression, and loneliness. People respond, offering help, and you have a negative response to it. It may not seem like much, but people are more willing to help you, if you're willing to be helped. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, be positive, and take advantage of what others are offering.

You misunderstand me, I disagree, and I don't know how to change that. I have heard the "people are willing to help IF you do X,Y,Z" thing so often and have seen that even when I change and extend myself and expend great and limited energy to their requirements it doesn't work like you imagine and I find it really simplifies the complex set of issues I deal with and is victim blaming in the end. Sorry if I have offen…

Be more positive, go outside your limited comfort zone. Even if you think you have zero interest in it, try it anyhow. What's the worst that can happen? You meet someone new, and waste a couple hours of your life? I'm not totally familiar with your disabilities, but look at Stephen Hawking, Christopher Reeves. I just saw a dude with no legs doing things on a skateboard, that 15 year old me would have dreamed of doing. You're not offending me, stop apologizing for everything. Get out , and do something.

Re: Is Loneliness a Health Epidemic?

#160

Post by davesque »

DougN7 wrote: post #154
davesque wrote: post #132

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Absolutely. She was a social and emotional hub for us and one of my best friends...fuck. Life's a damn trip.

My mother is (thankfully) still alive, so I hope I can take the naive advice I'm going to give you: you could try to become that hub. I know when my brothers initiate something (like a surprise birthday party for Mom), we're all excited to jump on board.

Good advice. Thanks for that.
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