131–140 of 266 posts
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The church may be looking for those things; the churchgoers, however, not so much.
Q: Would you like to become a member? A: No thank you. I'm an atheist who is just here for the social interaction and community. How does this end well?
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I hear this man. After my mother passed away three years ago, it was like the entire family disappeared somehow. Never imagined how things would change.
Mothers really keep the family together, even in their old age.
Betteridge's law of headlines : "Any headline that ends in a question mark can be answered by the word no." This is why I canceled my subscription to the NYTimes and stop following the news so much. Everything is an epidemic. Everything is going to end the world. Are there people with problems of loneliness? Sure. Is it an epidemic? Of course not. Just like the tide pod epidemic last month. Next come, it'll be anothe…
There are increasing numbers of lonely people, and loneliness causes severe health problems, reducing quality and length of life.
All that's missing from the normal definition of epidemic is the element of contagion.
I think loneliness is especially bad for men as we are prone to hide our mental health and true feelings/emotions, not seek medical attention when we need it, and generally have less intimate discussions with friends as compared to women. So a lot of men end up suffering loneliness for a long period of time without any emotional support. It feels like one of those things which creeps on you, and before you know it, y…
Funny thing happened recently as I was on a company vacation and talked mostly small-talk bullshit the whole time. Only when I and my coworker were taking the same bus down to the city he actually brought up a deep and personal issue. It made me wonder how did I became so closed-up and lost my willingness to talk about things that are deeply meaningful to me? Is it because I never felt that others would listen? Or that they would shun me? What I was afraid of?
It's for sure a downward spiral once it starts and your abilities to make those deep connections with other people start deteriorating. I think we should be taught better how friendships are actually made and that talking about feelings and deep thoughts is ok. The cultural education here seems to be failing to teach the right things.
Betteridge's law of headlines : "Any headline that ends in a question mark can be answered by the word no." This is why I canceled my subscription to the NYTimes and stop following the news so much. Everything is an epidemic. Everything is going to end the world. Are there people with problems of loneliness? Sure. Is it an epidemic? Of course not. Just like the tide pod epidemic last month. Next come, it'll be anothe…
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Hi. I am sorry to hear your situation is similar. My email is in my profile but I will be honest up front that I am dealing with so much right now that I wouldn't be a good friend and hate disappointing anyone so please don't expect much or feel slighted.
I think your first course of action is improving your attitude. You start out with a cry for help about your problems, depression, and loneliness. People respond, offering help, and you have a negative response to it. It may not seem like much, but people are more willing to help you, if you're willing to be helped. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, be positive, and take advantage of what others are offering.
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I get you have good intentions, but be careful not to assume you have a handle on what the physical health troubles are, nor that you understand the exact circumstances preventing action that seem easily surmountable to you. It can be more harmful than good to suggest stuff like this if you've missed the mark in your assumptions, speaking as someone who experiences a lot of well-wishing advice for similar reasons. So…
Alternately, people who give advice likely experienced similar issues and overcame them. I sure have, and would echo the same recommendations, but like I was, OP just gives excuses why he can't do the simplest thing like recalibrating hobby expectations. OP is reaching out for compassion but with such a tiny social net only internet strangers can help, and what else can they do but suggest their own life experiences?…
Think about this like if someone was talking about fiscal matters. If you had someone who worked their way into the middle class telling poor people helpful tips to do the same, what is the chance they are overlooking factors in their success that aren't easily replicated for others or which was more based on luck?
I grew up in the middle of rural nowhere where most my old classmates hold minimum wage jobs if they have jobs. I worked hard to get ahead, but I was also assisted by things outside of my control. Natural talents and lucky opportunities being the two largest ones. Socially it's the opposite.
For example, contacting a stranger to ask for a ride can be as difficult for someone as learning a new programming language. Some can do it with no difficulty, others have a major block. What happens when someone tries a new hobby and realizes they are still isolated, even from the community of others engaged in the same hobby?
Underlying a lot of this, be it for making friends or finding a career, is the issue of learned helplessness.
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Sell your car and start biking year round. You won't be lonely for long.
What on Earth could you possibly mean by that? You'll magically make deep, abiding, social ties by riding a bicycle?
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I know you mean well, and I am not trying to argue for sport or be difficult, but it's not as simple as you imagine. I have health issues that prevent me from spending time down in the dirt gardening and I don't find it appealing at all. Photography requires infrastructure and equipment. Walking is a big problem for me because of the surgeries and fallout. I really wish people would not do the "you have to work at it…
This is going to sound stupid, but if you can't do hobbies you previously enjoyed are you just never going to find new hobbies? If you have no in-person interaction that you know you need, are you just never going to go find it? Where do other people get it in your area? Church, probably, since you're rural. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that you aren't interested in religion, absolutely hate where you're a…