Earlier quoted context omitted.
The time, effort, and stress of commuting easily offsets any gains from living outside of NYC. Any city with decent neighborhoods will be at least a 60 minute commute door to door, plus you have to budget another 30 minutes for delays and whatnot because the public transit is terrible. It's very difficult to plan anything on work days if you're commuting into NYC, and you get to pay super high rents and property taxe…
On the other hand, for NYC most of your commute is by train. Resting on the train is a lot less stressful than driving.
If it was like Japan and you could actually make plans, then it wouldn't be so bad.