741–745 of 745 posts
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It's not a great saying, and it is a myth that people naturally become conservative as they age.
It's not a myth. It's a fact. Younger people are more naive and idealistic. Older people are more skeptical and conservative.
The idea that people naturally veer to the right of the political spectrum as they age is a myth.
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I don't know about that. You just shouldn't strap more meaning onto it than that it's a survey that gives you a qualitative description of the answers you gave to it -- people have some innate attraction to such things and I find it hard to criticize them for it. I just don't think it's appropriate to use for career counseling, etc.
I think mathperson is referring to the fact that 'big 5' is the new personality type test that psychology researchers seem to take more seriously. My understanding is that it's a lot more, I forget the word. reliable or repeatable? I mean, two different big5 tests are more likely to give you the same answer than two different MBTI tests.
The puzzle is unsolvable if you ask why can't I find friends. Probably nothing wrong with you. The puzzle is instantly solvable if you ask why can't I be a good friend to others. Lets see, at age 19 I was juggling part time school, Army Reserves service, a grunt manual labor job, and an internship fake job, I was kinda busy. At age 22 I was working a semi-challenging full time programming job while still going to sch…
nice life story, but the fact that you wrote this long story and explanation shows that perhaps you would want somebody to confide in but can't find that in real life. Otherwise, you wouldn't spill your life story to a bunch of strangers where your comment is a tangent from the mainpoint of OP.
I posted all my details because I have a lot of data about them, but more importantly I don't think I'm unusually busy or unusually bored so the list should resonate well with others. Also all the I / We pronouns are more of a generic "Everyman" on both sides of the situation for the sake of this discussion to keep discussion out of the weeds.
Unlike the self-focused discussion in the article, my new problem solving technique actually provides action items fairly obviously to most readers. Based on an analysis of my performance as a friend I can observe some general trends. First of all, most of my unavailable time was medium term, so yes its illegal under sex harassment laws to ask a girl out on a date more than once, I get it, but in the course of normal human events you should ask a potential non-sex partner friend to hang out more than once over at least a moderate period of time, because "life happens". Secondly virtually all of the posts at the time I posted assumed something was wrong with them not the people unwilling to hang out with them; do they need psychiatric treatment or drugs, counseling, advice. However no quantity of pills consumed will take me away from my kids little league game on rain-less friday nights to participate in your drinking expedition, changing yourself would be a waste of effort. I'm unusually easygoing, I would guess in excess of 99% of "I won't be friends with you" relationships, its literally honestly nothing personal, so don't bother being anxious or take prescription pills or whatever, but from observation I think even normie or aggressive people likely are in excess of 90% solely impersonal cause of dislike. I'm kinda outspoken when I'm not laid back, if you make the 1% of people I don't like, you wouldn't have to wonder why I don't like you or what to improve, which aside from some antisocial weirdos is pretty common behavior. In summary, almost always "I won't hang out with you" cannot be cured with therapy or a pill and there's nothing wrong or requiring change.
So, with the new analysis its a numbers game. You thought you had a 90% chance of it working out because we're buddies or have something in common, but the real number is more like a 1% chance of it working out, so meet a hundred people to boost the odds to 50:50 or so. Luckily the highly interconnected world has a very large population. All made up numbers of course.
When I was young, old people advice like "be yourself and meet more people" sounded hopelessly stupid as a solution. Unfortunately based on decades of life experience the truth doesn't care if you like it or if it makes you sound old, the truth just is. So in summary, by abandoning a failing problem solving strategy and re-analyzing the problem under a new strategy, I found a solution set which seems very rational and workable and it seems to fit available data, with the caveat that its not as simple as merely popping a pill AND youngsters have been culturally conditioned to hate the advice.
As a side issue, "why I'd be a crappy friend" doesn't imply I don't have friends, LOL. Which ironically should be anxiety reducing for friendless people. You don't have to be worried you'll die alone like a monk just because your kid is sick for awhile or your work-life balance temporarily sux or whatever as implied in the article and by HN posts.
A final side issue, with the pronoun "you" in the greater sense, there's a tinge of "There's no royal road to geometry" with the insight that its even worse in that you're also not royalty. This is Hacker News after all which comes with an interesting psychological profile... sure you went to an ivy or had straight As or work in a cool job, no one cares about your wannabe royalty-ness if their Dad is sick. There really is no easier solution to the problem than putting in the effort to get out there and meet more people.
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Looks like a cool tool, but I just wanted to add that I'm a man with at least 50% female friends, so restricting me to only making friends with men is a shame. I think we've moved past the whole "not being able to be friends with someone of the same gender" thing (nevermind the fact that people of the same gender can date!). There are probably better ways to tackle people using the app for dating.
>I think we've moved past the whole "not being able to be friends with someone of the same gender" I think you meant to say "of the opposite gender". I find it difficult to make friends with people of both genders, but my hobbies and interests seem partitioned strongly to one gender, virtually making the other gender seem alien and extra hard to make friends with. I don't know why that's the case, and it seems to be…
I don't think the fact that you find it hard to do so should be a reason to restrict your user-base. I see a case for single-gender outings and understand that some people would prefer such outings, but I think co-ed outings could add to the app.
EDIT: Just saw your link on why tribes are single gendered. I didn't really take the creep-factor into account. Maybe a 2 on 2 female/male ratio would help reduce it, best of luck with figuring it out, it's a tough nut to crack!
The older you get, the clearer you see the end of the tunnel. You've heard the quip 'Life is too short'. Well, the work of making friends , of defining how much committment there is to a relationship, etc...is not worth it. Happiness is something only you can allow yourself to have. And once you realize this, who needs the risk of having an emotional downside through a new relationship when you might not have enough…
This is very interesting. First time I hear anyone say that cultivating friendship is not worth it.