Surprisingly watching more TV and playing more MMORPG's didn't make the list...hmm
Regrets of the Dying
71–80 of 93 posts
Re: Regrets of the Dying
#72I guess it remains to be seen conclusively when I fall terminally ill or get close to death of old age, but in my mind, it is not possible to have a life without some kind of theoretical regrets. Every choice you make to spend every moment a certain way is necessarily mutually exclusive with spending it any other way, and there are only so many moments and so many things one can realistically do. I'm quite positively…
It's not so much being satisfied that every choice you made in life is the best one, but, being satisfied with who you are today (on the whole), coming to understand that who you are is the sum of every choice you've made, every relationship you've entered into, and every experience you have had. Change anything in that chain, and you are somebody different. As long as you haven't lived the life of Methuselah (nearly…
Yep, be satisfied with who you are today (on the whole) and who you are on the day of your death. Recogonize now, the urge to speculate on what more you could have done as just another urge. Naturally, when one is dying and their own life is becoming scare in their own estimation, their longing for meaningful activities is going to be heightened. I'd argue that the more one has experienced in life, the more intense this longing will be. How many times can one go around and say final farewells to cherished friends? Never enough!
I try to read a lot of fiction, old and new, but I know that when I'm close to death, I'm liable to be choked up about those dozen or so books that I never got around to reading. Someone who doesn't like fiction will probably not think at all about what they never got around to think about reading. We're all that way about our own set of cares and don't cares, so none of the wishes and regrets are ever cosmically meaningful anyway.
Re: Regrets of the Dying
#73Re: Regrets of the Dying
#74I have met quite a few patients that were undergoing palliative care for their treatments and I heard a lot of the same. One recurring theme I found was that ministers and priests always ended up doubting or renouncing their faith. It was terribly depressing. Whenever I think back it always reminds me to spend more time with my family- they provide the best support in these sort of situations and close families alway…
One recurring theme I found was that ministers and priests always ended up doubting or renouncing their faith. It was terribly depressing. I'm curious: why?
Some old Buddhist sayings is "Concepts act as robbers, consciousness becomes waves". So, one should avoid memorizing sayings and living inside conceptual consciousness. ^_^
Concepts are just tools. The map is not a territory.
Re: Regrets of the Dying
#75Surprisingly watching more TV and playing more MMORPG's didn't make the list...hmm
MMORPGs are for losers. For a winner life itself is a the best RPG.
btw, posting things to HN (and especially down-voting) are just a different kind of RPG. ^_^
TV is watching someone else's play.
Re: Regrets of the Dying
#76Sometimes I think that I might be one of the few people who will be on my deathbed, regretting not working harder. When I look back on my life, it's mostly been unfinished projects, or good ideas that didn't get far. I've always been told how much potential I have, and I even feel this in myself. But so far, there's not a lot to show for it. Sometimes I've spent years not doing much of anything except looking at suns…
>Sometimes I think that I might be one of the few people who will be on my deathbed, regretting not working harder.
The saying goes that on the deathbed no one regrets not spending more time in the office. I take that to mean "donating more of their time to some company", not spending time working/creating. That's how it will be with me. I'll wish that I wouldn't have had to waste so much time solving boring solved problems for money instead of doing the things I was interested in doing. Things that actually had a chance of a real impact, even if small.
Re: Regrets of the Dying
#77Sometimes I think that I might be one of the few people who will be on my deathbed, regretting not working harder. When I look back on my life, it's mostly been unfinished projects, or good ideas that didn't get far. I've always been told how much potential I have, and I even feel this in myself. But so far, there's not a lot to show for it. Sometimes I've spent years not doing much of anything except looking at suns…
Well said, neilk. I always have mixed feelings when reading about the wisdom of people who are dying. I don't doubt that they feel the way they say they feel at that point, but are their judgments relevant to how they WOULD HAVE felt for years, not weeks, back when they still had years to live? On their deathbeds, when they value family so much more than career, they wish they'd spent more time on the former, less on the latter. But if they had actually lived that way for decades, would they have been any happier? Can we know for sure? They might be romanticizing the time they could have spent with family, but didn't, and underestimating the discouragment of living with the professional consequences of "spending less time at the office," while successful coworkers were spending more.
I suspect that the real key to success in life over all is to carefully identify your priorities and to deliberately, passionately, and courageously pursue them, rather than being governed by accident, convenience, fear, and inertia.
Re: Regrets of the Dying
#78I read the book "meditations" from Marcus Aurelius recently. It's very interesting to note that the human condition hasn't changed that much. Here are a couple of quotes related to the article. 1. "How much time he saves who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does or thinks." -- Marcus Aurelius 2. Work will always be considered a waste of time when you think about it later if you don't enjoy doing it now.…
"How much time he saves who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does or thinks." -- Marcus Aurelius Y'see, this is the problem I have with Marcus Aurelius. It must have been relatively easy for him to not care what other people think. For those of us who aren't the goddamn Emperor of Rome, well, we occasionally have the sorts of practical issues which didn't affect him so much. I was also recently reading…
"It must have been relatively easy for him to not care what other people think."
I don't think you understand how difficult it was to be an Emperor! An Emperor who was unpopular could be assassinated. An average Joe Soap who is unpopular may have rows with his family or work colleagues but is not usually murdered. Being an Emperor raised the stakes and the paranoia.
Re: Regrets of the Dying
#79I guess it remains to be seen conclusively when I fall terminally ill or get close to death of old age, but in my mind, it is not possible to have a life without some kind of theoretical regrets. Every choice you make to spend every moment a certain way is necessarily mutually exclusive with spending it any other way, and there are only so many moments and so many things one can realistically do. I'm quite positively…
Usual meaning of regrets are things you really wanted to do at the time, had a chance to try, did not and didn't do anything else that was particularly exciting. Then felt a nagging about it your whole life, which only gets worse when you're out of time. If you took an alternate path that made you happy, you probably won't have regrets. If your life was crappy, you will have regrets about lots of little things. But a…
The bits that resonated with me were the references to "courage", i.e. overcoming one's fears in order to do that which would make oneself happier, more fulfilled etc. When I think of "regrets", I think of this wish that I'd overcome more of my own fears of other people's reactions, fear that the universe would not somehow provide at some minimum level etc. in order to try to follow my own dreams and passions.
At least if you try and things don't work out, you won't regret never having made the effort to seize the opportunity.
Re: Regrets of the Dying
#80After a potentially fatal car accident, a councillor suggested Victor Frankl's book "Man's search for meaning". I'd highly recommend it.
On the other hand, I'm not convinced that anyone who hasn't faced death can really understand life. You can talk to people and they'll nod and agree but they won't understand. My suggestion for living a fulfilling life would be to nearly die every 5-10 years. It's the only thing powerful enough to remind you what is important about life.