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Worst Roommate Ever

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Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#251

Post by IntronExon »

Momquist wrote: post #59
IntronExon wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

On the other hand, gut reactions to sociopaths and psychopaths are a thing. Too often though people take your view of it, and try to rationalize that feeling away. I’d rather trust my gut and ignore the pretty mediocre studies about unconscious bias that seem hard to replicate, thanks.

Gut reactions to psychopaths tend to be the opposite: they are charming, and charismatic. Theres's a very good chance that you will like them, from the first impression. That's one of the traits/signs of a psychopath. That's why you shouldn't trust your gut, at least not in this case. And the experiences of the victims in the article reinforce this point, at least in the first encounters: a courtly gentleman , he was…

That’s a common myth. In fact the reaction tends to be highly negative, but subsequent charming behavior leads people to ignore their initial reaction.

http://drreidmeloy.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/2002_Auton...

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/criminal-minds/201301/d...

In other words, a gut reaction isn’t proof of anything, and neither is a lack of a gut reaction, BUT... when it happens, and when it’s a high risk situation, listen to your gut.

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#252

Post by nwatson »

aje403 wrote: post #220
nwatson wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks for the pointer to the book, quite interesting so far. The author talks of psychopathy as an "adaptation" and not a "brokenness" in an individual ... but the adaptation so far mentioned is only in the sense of "the relatively small number of psychopaths is adapted to prey on other humans". I suppose that having too many psychopaths would render human trust very frail and would make a society prone to failure (…

This is a really horrible way to put things -"psychopaths are society's ultimate catastrophic re-insurance, the last resort". It's indulging itself in grandiosity and dumbing down a richer picture than that with more gray area. Referring to someone as a psychopath is quite similar to people calling you a hacker because you majored in computer science then asking you to fix their computer. Outside of the dramatics, it…

The grandparent to your post here, the one referring to "author of ZeroMQ", links to an interesting article by that "author of ZeroMQ" ... and that article is a "layman's rejection" of the notion that you lay out, that "psychopathy, physiologically, refers to part of the brain being underdeveloped leading to these characteristics [of non-empathy, etc.] being formed as an individual progresses through life".

I was playing along with that contention, seems to make sense to me, that perhaps some people just inherit traits or predispositions to lack-of-empathy. I also don't know the psychology or neuroscience, and I imagine there's still some debate -- "is it a neurological disorder, or is it an adaptation?"

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#253

Post by aje403 »

nwatson wrote: post #252
aje403 wrote: post #220

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a really horrible way to put things -"psychopaths are society's ultimate catastrophic re-insurance, the last resort". It's indulging itself in grandiosity and dumbing down a richer picture than that with more gray area. Referring to someone as a psychopath is quite similar to people calling you a hacker because you majored in computer science then asking you to fix their computer. Outside of the dramatics, it…

The grandparent to your post here, the one referring to "author of ZeroMQ", links to an interesting article by that "author of ZeroMQ" ... and that article is a "layman's rejection" of the notion that you lay out, that "psychopathy, physiologically, refers to part of the brain being underdeveloped leading to these characteristics [of non-empathy, etc.] being formed as an individual progresses through life". I was pla…

Didn't read - I've had enough run ins with people that I don't need any help spotting them. Maybe will glance over if its short.

Part of what I was trying to argue, if I didn't word it well - is that if you're we can't distinctly tie the list of characteristics we've contrived as being psychopathy to something like a malformed amygdala, and we instead refer to it nebulously as this genetic aberration, we might as well go back to calling people witches as well (which, I suppose our species tends to enjoy looking for).

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#254

Post by jsl1212 »

turc1656 wrote: post #243
mieseratte wrote: post #213

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sure, using your gut instinct in things like hiring, things where we want and need to be as objective as possible, is probably a recipe for bias and that's bad. Interviewing for roommates is something different, more intimate. You're going to be sharing space with this person and letting your gut reject someone is fine. If you're not comfortable having a female rommate, fine. If you're not comfortable with someone, f…

I get what you're saying but I never understood why people make a distinction between doing it in your private life vs doing it on the job. Yes, I understand that it's more intimate and personal, as you mentioned. But why is it inherently more acceptable to do when, for example, finding a roommate? I mean a lot of us spend more time with coworkers than family. Is it simply because laws require business practices to n…

When you're finding a roommate you have no obligation to be "fair" the way you do when hiring someone for a job--nor should you be. A roommate's compatibility with you isn't solely determined by their resume or any other traits that can be represented on paper, and it's a situation where personal safety is a legitimate concern. If you interview a potential roommate you have every right to trust your gut over their word or the word of their references.

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#255

Post by mtgex »

tty7 wrote: post #13
mtgex wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I completely disagree. I think our "gut" is infinitely biased. No one is immune. If you believe you do not have racial, ethnic, and gender biases you are wrong. And, if you read the article, everyone's gut reaction was that this man was an unassuming, down to earth, great guy, and they got along with him very well at first. The article makes clear that their gut reaction failed them.

> If you believe you do not have racial, ethnic, and gender biases you are wrong. When does trusting your gut mean you don't know you are biased? Everyone is biased, get over it. If you are living with someone - yes please trust your gut, live with who you want to live with. as per the article the move in happened quickly and they were seemingly desperate to get someone in to cover the rent.

I didn't suggest that trusting your gut means you're not aware you can be biased.

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#256

Post by jsl1212 »

creep wrote: post #247

"... they handed him the Rubbermaid bins and Abigail. But Bachman was enraged when they declined to give back Zachary — they had sent him to live with a woman in the suburbs, and the judge had permitted her to keep him. " God, that hurt. I actually do feel sorry for this man.

Did you miss the part where he took the cats of one of his former victims to a kill shelter?

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#257

Post by mtgex »

Para2016 wrote: post #240
mtgex wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I completely disagree. I think our "gut" is infinitely biased. No one is immune. If you believe you do not have racial, ethnic, and gender biases you are wrong. And, if you read the article, everyone's gut reaction was that this man was an unassuming, down to earth, great guy, and they got along with him very well at first. The article makes clear that their gut reaction failed them.

So, you're a trusting fool? Having the ability to quickly discern someone's initial intentions is a good trait to have. Second guessing your own subconscious judgement based on concern for biases is going to make you an easy dupe.

No, I'm not a trusting fool. I don't know how you came to that conclusion.

I think you're arguing for the opposite of what you're saying. Con artists rely completely on our subconscious judgement, rather than rational thinking, and second guessing it is often the key to realizing you're a mark.

Not trusting your gut instincts, but rather taking the time to think things through rationally and come up with a basis for your judgements is what I am arguing for.

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#258

Post by maaaats »

TheMagicHorsey wrote: post #215
whack wrote: post #169

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Realistically, there's nothing I can do about it because the eviction process is so long and time consuming, that by the time I finally evict the person, my lease would be over and I'd be moving out anyway. After having given my roommate free housing for many months of course. > "Giving people housing is important" I agree! So let's make the government financially liable for any missed rent payments, while the evicti…

Most people don't understand the second order effects you've described. The downside of so much renter-favorable protections is an increase in rent which prices out those very same renters. The person whose comment you are replying to doesn't understand that. So then when the rental market gets too hot for working people, his next demand will be that the government force landlords to rent at a particular price. So th…

Holy crap, are you actually putting all those words in my mouth?

And did you learn all that from me saying why laws protecting renters exist?

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#259

Post by TheMagicHorsey »

maaaats wrote: post #258
TheMagicHorsey wrote: post #215

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Most people don't understand the second order effects you've described. The downside of so much renter-favorable protections is an increase in rent which prices out those very same renters. The person whose comment you are replying to doesn't understand that. So then when the rental market gets too hot for working people, his next demand will be that the government force landlords to rent at a particular price. So th…

Holy crap, are you actually putting all those words in my mouth? And did you learn all that from me saying why laws protecting renters exist?

> And giving people housing is important, that's why the laws > often favor the person renting, not the owner.

As though if you think housing is important, all a policy maker should have to think about is the first order effect of protecting the renter's rights.

You did a lot more than say they exist. You said housing is important, that's why they exist. As though rental protection somehow advances the important goal of providing housing. One doesn't need more than that to identify who you are when it comes to reasoning about housing.

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#260

Post by bckmn »

subroutine wrote: post #74

Did anyone else read this paragraph wonder wtf really happened... "Bachman enrolled at Tulane University in the fall of 1975, but his time there was rocky and brief, ruptured by a horrific incident in January at the Sigma Chi house, just off campus. Although Bachman was not a member of the frat, he told Friedman he’d been hanging around the house with a friend from Elkins Park, a boy a year older named Ken Gutzeit. S…

I worked on an ambulance rig as an EMT during college. My first night of working on the rig, around 7am, we were called to a house on the outskirts of Champaign, Illinois.

When we arrived, we found a man running through the street with a tiny pencil sticking out of his back. Turns out, his father-in-law had plunged a complete pencil ~6 inches into his back during breakfast. Why? He had eaten some of his father-in-law's hash browns. He wouldn't stop talking about it for the entire trip.

Sometimes, people have disproportionate reactions to slights against them.

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