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Worst Roommate Ever

nymag.com

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Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#11

Post by gwern »

devin wrote: post #7
mtgex wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I completely disagree. I think our "gut" is infinitely biased. No one is immune. If you believe you do not have racial, ethnic, and gender biases you are wrong. And, if you read the article, everyone's gut reaction was that this man was an unassuming, down to earth, great guy, and they got along with him very well at first. The article makes clear that their gut reaction failed them.

Not so fast. The comment by a student saying that he scared them is also mentioned in the article.

The student is leaving it on a rating website and so likely was taking his course, which is much more than first impressions.

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#12

Post by danielvf »

The author of ZeroMQ wrote a book on recognizing people like this, and more importantly how to get yourself out of prison they’ve put you in. The action plans have helped me.

The lucky ones in the NYmag article here did many of the things he recommends.

Free PDF here, look for the hard to find “read” button.

https://www.gitbook.com/book/hintjens/psychopathcode/details

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#13

Post by tty7 »

mtgex wrote: post #6
0x7f800000 wrote: post #5

One of the most important tools we have for social encounters like interviewing a stranger as a potential new roommate is our "gut" reaction, which is our hard-won evolutionary instincts warning us of potential danger -- warning that something is off about the person or their situation. Trust your gut.

I completely disagree. I think our "gut" is infinitely biased. No one is immune. If you believe you do not have racial, ethnic, and gender biases you are wrong. And, if you read the article, everyone's gut reaction was that this man was an unassuming, down to earth, great guy, and they got along with him very well at first. The article makes clear that their gut reaction failed them.

> If you believe you do not have racial, ethnic, and gender biases you are wrong.

When does trusting your gut mean you don't know you are biased? Everyone is biased, get over it. If you are living with someone - yes please trust your gut, live with who you want to live with.

as per the article the move in happened quickly and they were seemingly desperate to get someone in to cover the rent.

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#14

Post by rocky1138 »

lr4444lr wrote: post #10

Just the thought of being forced out of my house, or even having it invaded confrontationally by someone like this who is relentless and antagonistic, immediately gives me the gut reaction that if I take a baseball bat at night, catch him while he's sleeping, and beat him badly enough to the point where I can safely call the cops and claim I just defended myself after he tried to drag me into his room and I grabbed a…

Well, if that ever happens in your future, I'm sure your comment will be used as evidence against you in court :)

I'm not a lawyer, but I'd definitely recommend you don't "take the law into your own hands." I've seen more than enough episodes of Forensic Files to know that very intelligent people can play back an attack and put it together no matter how counterintuitive it seems.

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#15

Post by IntronExon »

lr4444lr wrote: post #10

Just the thought of being forced out of my house, or even having it invaded confrontationally by someone like this who is relentless and antagonistic, immediately gives me the gut reaction that if I take a baseball bat at night, catch him while he's sleeping, and beat him badly enough to the point where I can safely call the cops and claim I just defended myself after he tried to drag me into his room and I grabbed a…

If you’re committed to assault and battery with a risk of murder, you might as well just disappear him. Note that I recommend neither course or action for obvious moral and legal reasons.

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#16

Post by danielvf »

lr4444lr wrote: post #10

Just the thought of being forced out of my house, or even having it invaded confrontationally by someone like this who is relentless and antagonistic, immediately gives me the gut reaction that if I take a baseball bat at night, catch him while he's sleeping, and beat him badly enough to the point where I can safely call the cops and claim I just defended myself after he tried to drag me into his room and I grabbed a…

The police are really, really not that stupid. And remember, this guy is a lawyer, who spent his fighting tenant battles, has stabbed people, and shortly after this, murdered someone.

If you live, his words alone as a lawyer and a practiced manipulator would be win out over you. Much less the actual crime scene evidence.

And you just might not live, since you were going into it without the idea that this could be a fight to death, and he could legaly kill you in self defense.

No, what solves this kind of thing is the truth, relentless pieced together and recorded, gaining the ability to say no, while protecting yourself from harm.

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#17

Post by markbnj »

lr4444lr wrote: post #10

Just the thought of being forced out of my house, or even having it invaded confrontationally by someone like this who is relentless and antagonistic, immediately gives me the gut reaction that if I take a baseball bat at night, catch him while he's sleeping, and beat him badly enough to the point where I can safely call the cops and claim I just defended myself after he tried to drag me into his room and I grabbed a…

People like this are intuitively manipulative and often strangely good judges of character. If you're the type of confident person who would not in a million years put up with his crap then it's very likely you would never have to, because he would seek out someone more malleable to make a victim of.

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#20

Post by mc32 »

mtgex wrote: post #6
0x7f800000 wrote: post #5

One of the most important tools we have for social encounters like interviewing a stranger as a potential new roommate is our "gut" reaction, which is our hard-won evolutionary instincts warning us of potential danger -- warning that something is off about the person or their situation. Trust your gut.

I completely disagree. I think our "gut" is infinitely biased. No one is immune. If you believe you do not have racial, ethnic, and gender biases you are wrong. And, if you read the article, everyone's gut reaction was that this man was an unassuming, down to earth, great guy, and they got along with him very well at first. The article makes clear that their gut reaction failed them.

I'm not sure what you mean by gender bias, but I am pretty sure, all things being equal, I'd likely let to a woman than a man, even if I were a different sex. All things being equal --income, social traits, etc.

I think guys in these cases would be at a disadvantage.

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