Maybe you should be doing something else with your life? Maybe you were supposed to be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a builder? I mean, life is so short, why punish yourself? I hate this culture of 'hacks' and all this rubbish to force yourself into doing things maybe you shouldn't be doing.
Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?
321–330 of 382 posts
Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?
#322You mention playing video games as a rewards and I immediately wonder: how much of your problem is the fact that video games made you get used to fast and easy rewards? How much did you desensitize your innate reward system by video games? I'm probably going to get down voted for this remark but I encourage every gamer feeling the urge to down vote to take a critical look at themselves before doing so, be honest, my…
I would argue it's not so much the rewards, but rather the feeling of progression towards a reward. I used to have a terrible problem where I would just waste entire weekends playing a Civilization game, not because I was being rewarded, but because I could tell I was progressing towards some form of in-game victory. As soon as I felt like this wasn't the case the game just lost it's zeal.
It's still a reward, but with more subtlety.
Ironically enough I'm actually a game developer myself and have used insights such as these to create a web app that turns business development and customer validation into a game. Seems to be working, albeit by my own admission it's a tad strange.
Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?
#323Just a guess, but do you find yourself wishing you could be gaming when you’re trying to work/focus? Sounds like you’re a avid gamer. If so. It might be time to give it up. Or reduce significantly.
Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?
#324It's normal for a Human with a brain having two distinct, functional hemispheres.
When you're in school or 'working for the man', their clock is your clock. As a fellow independent freelancer, the challenge I have found is maintaining compatibility with those clocks. In some cases, I'm doing what it takes to synthesize one of my own, according to the rhythms and cycles of the dominant "super-clock". They don't ask it of me, it's just that without enforcement of interplay, I lose all momentum.
Without a support crew, an Astronaut on an EVA can only accomplish so much.
No clock, no appointments. No appointments, no money.
Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?
#325My only real motivation is coffee. It makes me just the right amount of autistic to pay close attention to tedious details and actually care about getting it right and finishing the task. Without coffee I could care less and wouldn't e able to hold down a tech job, I'm sure. I wish it were not so, it has many negative side effects for me: anxiety, grumpiness, difficulty sleeping well. If you find a good motivator that isn't a drug, you will be way ahead.
Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?
#326Just gonna throw my two pence into this...
I've always found that if I couldn't motivate myself to do something then I probably do not want to do it on some level and should be doing something else.
If that could be you then one solution is to take a break from work and try figure out what you'd rather be doing. You'll know because you'll feel drawn to it.
Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?
#327I can relate a lot. I'm still burning through self-motivation hacks at 35, some of which are helping while most don't. Eventually, the hack with by far the largest impact (which brought me to currently being cofounder and CTO of one of the more successful German startups) was realizing that while I simply suck at self-motivating, I never had a problem getting stuff done when working for others. I effortlessly produce…
Man, this is so recognisable. I've always had problems with self-motivation and discipline, and especially when working on my own projects. The first year I was self-employed, I had ambitious ideas about my own projects. I had a toddler at the time, and I had some great ideas for multi-lingual mobile games for toddlers (most are just in English). I started on one, but messed about so much (trying to learn Photoshop on my own, switching frameworks, reading about other stuff), while worrying about all the parts I wouldn't be able to do myself (graphics, music) that I never got anywhere.
Then I became a freelancer on other people's projects (mostly banks lately), and that's going fine and pays very well. But when I think about all the time I wasted not getting anything done on my own projects...
Best thing I did for my own project, was tutoring a friend who'd just switched from medical psychology research to programming. We worked on my hobby project together, and that at least got me going.
Working for others is so much easier than working for yourself. Fucking up my own ideas doesn't hurt anyone but me, but a paying client, that certainly helps motivation.
Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?
#328Finding meaning in freelance work is a tough proposition. Perhaps it feels like a struggle because you're actively looking for struggle. It's easy to tell ourselves positive results can only come from struggle—that's far from true.
It sounds like you're good at what you do. Double your prices each project. Cut the number of projects you do 75%. Over-deliver. Hustle by improving your operation/system, not chasing a single variable (work input).
This work system will allow you to spend less time laboring and more time working on yourself:
1. Sleep, diet, exercise, reflect.
Here's a comment I recently wrote about this: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16150664
2. Visit a good doctor and get blood tests.
A few years ago I started having trouble focusing for more than 2-3 hours at a time. It turned out I have an under-active thyroid (Hashimoto's Thyroiditis) which causes my memory to become foggy, focus limited, and tempter short when my adrenal glands are under stress. This is fixed with some blood tests and the right medication. I would have never discovered this without finding a good quality doctor. I paid out of pocket to have access for a 45 minute session—worth every penny. Now I only have occasional flareups.
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You're not broken—you're human. There are simple fixes for almost everything you describe that feels difficult. Take a step back (maybe literally, via vacation or a week off) and analyze how you can simplify your life and disconnect from this struggle = reward mindset.
Something to ponder: money, love, or fame as the end goal are dangerous, but as a byproduct of earnest effort and a life well lived can be uplifting.
Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?
#329I hate making 150k/year working. I really do.
So I bought 2 apartment buildings ( 4 units each ) and now live for free and can quit freelancing anytime I want
Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?
#330This sounds a lot like the reason is lack of purpose, being passionate about what you do. When you're freelancing, most projects don't mean anything to you other than cash, so it's understandable that you don't find much motivation for them. Have you thought about what you're really passionate about and find a company that you find really awesome and work for them? Maybe tesla, spacex, watsi, or a new small hot socia…
Your argument is circular.
Passion = simply what you do.
Look up what it means.