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Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

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Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#251

Post by Joe-Z »

therufa wrote: post #194
Joe-Z wrote: post #11

I'd suggest taking a look around you and maybe ask that question to people you know in person. I know this feeling myself, especially when starting out with work after college. Always beating myself up over how I don't have any side-projects, if I'm going to cut it at work and basically why I'm not on the same level as Linus Torvalds, or some other genius programmer already. I think the truth is that I was heavily in…

this is the best comment so far.

Haha, thanks. I was a bit surprised how the 'ADHD'-hypothesis took off (many comments responding to it), as opposed to, you know, just not wanting to program all day.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#252

Post by rattray »

endymi0n wrote: post #59

I can relate a lot. I'm still burning through self-motivation hacks at 35, some of which are helping while most don't. Eventually, the hack with by far the largest impact (which brought me to currently being cofounder and CTO of one of the more successful German startups) was realizing that while I simply suck at self-motivating, I never had a problem getting stuff done when working for others. I effortlessly produce…

Honestly I would second the idea of just joining a company as an FTE (full time employee). Find a place you really like, interview them at least as much as they interview you, and probably say "no" to 5-10 companies before signing on with one of them. Or maybe just join your favorite client full-time if there's one that would work.

Give it a shot for a year, you might like it. (source: have freelanced/founded, never thought I'd like working for others).

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#253

Post by iandanforth »

Denzel wrote: post #215
orblivion wrote: post #201

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So here's a question - what if I am of this disposition but I have a lot of ideas? And I would not be satisfied with life unless I'm pursuing them? Is there a way to reach out to find people to be in charge of me to execute on my ideas? Does anybody want to do that? (These are not necessarily businesses)

Take this with a heavy grain of salt. It's an idea I've had -- even though I don't have motivation problems -- that I have yet to do. (I plan to within the next three months.) Hire a part-time project manager. A good project manager is immensely helpful in (1) teasing out and decoupling requirements, (2) producing a work-breakdown structure (WBS), (3) setting a schedule/timeline for execution, (4) assessing risks, an…

I like this idea. Also as soon as you commit cash it's going to be easier to follow through. Make the sunk costs fallacy work in your favor!

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#254

Post by mancerayder »

Here's something to try: 20m chunks and breaks. And patience. Sometimes it takes a few empty cycles of 20m before breakthroughs begin. Once begun, they self-motivate.

You don't have to crank through until something starts. And it might even be okay to let your mind wander during the 20 minutes.

Then break. Take a few minutes, step away, go outside, pace around, glance at HN, anything.

Back to the 20m.

It's similar to a warmup at the gym when you're starting to do heavy sets. Here you're priming your mind.

My philosophy is, the second you have to fight yourself / your mind (motivation), you've already lost.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#255

Post by temp23099mv »

I've had similar problems. After trying to overcome the problem myself for much too long, embarrassed to even reveal it to others, I found a great therapist and they helped immensely.

Probably the most important thing I learned is that there are healthy, very human needs behind bad behaviors. Stop fighting yourself and doing tricks and workarounds (hacks, etc.), and start caring about and helping yourself. When you can't focus on work, what do you really need, on an emotional level? What does the video game provide? What are you avoiding?

If you don't understand your subconscious drives and emotions, you will be a slave to them.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#256

Post by tsunamifury »

Charge more and take more time off. Lately when I find myself struggling to work I just don’t. The amount of progress I make in my sprints is often enough to keep the rest of the team busy for weeks. Just embrace that you might be a sprinter and that that’s ok.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#257

Post by rconti »

narrator wrote: post #229
endymi0n wrote: post #59

I can relate a lot. I'm still burning through self-motivation hacks at 35, some of which are helping while most don't. Eventually, the hack with by far the largest impact (which brought me to currently being cofounder and CTO of one of the more successful German startups) was realizing that while I simply suck at self-motivating, I never had a problem getting stuff done when working for others. I effortlessly produce…

Working with someone else who holds me accountable creates a bizarre amount of motivation for me. There is certainly something hard-wired in humanity about working in groups.

Gretchen Rubin has a podcast and books; she has a concept of personality types. I can't remember them all, but one is "Obliger", where you're more likely to meet outside expectations than your own. I've got a lot of that myself.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#258

Post by thathappened »

Imo, most people just want to improve things in life but don't always concentrate to form an action plan.

My guess is you don't spend any time focusing on how your work improves your life. Makes you money but if money is just a pool you keep around in case you want to go swimming you'll find it's just a job to pass the time and you really just forgot how to be bored.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#259

Post by mncolinlee »

I totally understand. When I was a freelancer, I found that working on project work forty or more legit billing hours a week is a lot harder than advertised.

When I'd been full-time or working for a consulting house, a lot of my forty plus hours was actually spent listening to meetings and performing non-productive activities. Moving to freelancing, I felt like I hit a wall at thirty-five actively-logged hours on tools like Toggl and needed to take breaks. No one was holding me accountable for my time except myself.

From experience, I feel like most professional consulting organizations pad hours, but I'd prefer to show more for my time since my personal brand is critical to my success.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#260

Post by rconti »

Yes, mid 30s, I struggle as well. I'm much better at small discrete tasks than I am at larger projects, where I often work for a few minutes, then back up and think about the scope of the whole project, get discouraged, get distracted, etc. I've been very successful in life but the past 6 months I've been working hard to tweak a lot of the things I don't like about myself.

Currently seeing a CBT specialist which is helping. What I like about CBT is that it gives you discrete tools to address issues rather than spending 6 months trying to get into your entire childhood and background and stuff.

Lots of great suggestions here.. unfortunately the answer is you just have to fix it yourself. But you can fix it with help; it takes the desire to do something about it, and some experimentation, and it sounds like you're ready. Best of luck.

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