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Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

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Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#81
A thing to keep in mind is that work (at least as it is commonly practised) is not "normal". It's a thing we have accepted as normal, and if you want to be successful (by the common definitions) then, sure, you need to find some strategies achieve some focus and the ability to bring things to completion. There are plenty of good strategies throughout this thread; exercise and meditation are probably the most important.

But you shouldn't feel like a failure or consider yourself aberrant in some way. You're not built for the way we live now. If you're concerned about ADHD, find a doctor. I know plenty of people who have become much more satisfied with their existence after working through that, figuring out ways to adjust their behaviours.

In the end, you need to balance the utility of coping with the expectations of the modern world (and your own requirements for a comfortable life) against an understanding that the way we live now is messed up.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#82
What helped me here are two things:

1. The book getting things done by david allen. He just very explains to you how organizing works or how it often fails and what to do about it. Basically a smart person guide to keeping organized

2. Realizing that it wasn't motivation i was lacking cause that is fleeting and temporary but discipline. Not motivated? Fuck it, do it anyway. Motivated? Good, keep doing it.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#83

I can relate a lot. I'm still burning through self-motivation hacks at 35, some of which are helping while most don't. Eventually, the hack with by far the largest impact (which brought me to currently being cofounder and CTO of one of the more successful German startups) was realizing that while I simply suck at self-motivating, I never had a problem getting stuff done when working for others. I effortlessly produce…

This is a very encouraging testimony, thank you for your honesty. I am wondering: were you up-front with your cofounders about these issues when first coming together to start the business, or is it something that you just kind of brushed under the carpet and hoped that it would somehow work out (and it sounds like it did)? Or otherwise, were you aware of it enough at the time that you knew what to look for in your cofounders to bring out the best in you?

Great product by the way - via your profile I've just visited JustWatch for the first time and I'm glad to say it solves a RealProblem™ in my life. Consider yourself bookmarked!

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#85
This sounds a lot like the reason is lack of purpose, being passionate about what you do.

When you're freelancing, most projects don't mean anything to you other than cash, so it's understandable that you don't find much motivation for them.

Have you thought about what you're really passionate about and find a company that you find really awesome and work for them? Maybe tesla, spacex, watsi, or a new small hot social media app are all very exciting.

Or if you always had that one problem and it really bugged you that there didn't exist a solution for it, ever thought of making a product out of it?

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#86

Get hired in some software corporation. You'll be amazed how easy the work is and how well it pays. The only motivation you'll need is to get up in the morning and haul you ass to the office. After few months of what will feel like vacation to you, in the company of fresh smart people, you'll start to get bored, even despite doing more hobby programming in your free time then you done in a long time. But at this poin…

You are my hero.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#87
Many, many good responses here. And I muchly second meditation and exercise. I also needed to get out the house every day when I worked from home (the gym was good, but you don't talk to enough people). WeWork has been excellent because it gives me a place to be every day, and people to talk to.

As for distractions like video games, try making them irritating enough that it's more effort to do it than keep focused on your task. Unplug the console, put it in the box and put it at the top of the cupboard. Unplug all the cables from your TV. Let yourself play console, but go through the effort of setting it up and packing it away each time. Before long you'll only play it when you really want to - those ten minute "one game" sessions that become 2 hours don't happen anymore.

Last year I moved into a new place and my housemate and I didn't bother getting a TV. I missed TV for about 2 weeks. Been over a year now and not having something to just 'sit' in front of has been a game changer for _doing_ other things. Same deal. I cut out all the casual watching.

All of us struggle - particularly when working for yourself. Don't beat yourself up, it really doesn't help.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#88
If I struggle with procrastination for shorter periods of time or for specific types of chores, I'll use productivity techniques like a pomodoro timer, rewards, etc. And like others have said, breaking down large nebulous tasks into smaller more well-defined ones and making a daily todo list at the beginning of each day is important (the latter is one of the only 'techniques' that I've found to be consistently useful for me over a long period of time)

But if you struggle with procrastination and demotivation for months on end, I think you need to think more about what motivates you to work in general, apart from needing to put bread on the table. Two key questions to ask is why you do what you do (the vision), and the circumstances under which you do it (your everyday work). Either of these can motivate you - ideally you'd be motivated by both (doing tasks you enjoy, which also meaningfully moves you toward fulfilling your vision) but you might also be ok with just one or the other (e.g. you might but up with slogging through chores for a while if it helps you achieve your bigger vision, or you might put up with a 'visionless' company for a while in order to play with some cool tech). But if you get neither, then there's a high chance your motivation will go over a cliff - it sounds to me like this might be the case for you.

Here are some things to consider in terms of how important they are to motivate you, at the vision level:

- How many people does the work impact?

- How important is it to them if it is done well?

- How 'altruistic' is the work? (do you feel like the world becomes a 'better place' from it?)

- How important is it for you if you own the company yourself or someone else does?

- How important is the 'prestige' of the job for you?

- What kinds of 'achievements' would you be motivated to pursue? (e.g. speaking at a conference, making a name for yourself in your field or similar)

And at a daily level:

- What kinds of tasks do you enjoy doing (e.g. for me as a programmer, user-facing features are much more fun than backend tasks)

- How much do you want to interact with end users/customers/clients?

- How much do you want to interact with colleagues? (everyone needs some amount of social interaction and it can get lonely as a freelancer)

- How much would you like to be doing tasks yourself, and to which extent would you be ok with/prefer to just oversee others doing the tasks (some people prefer being hands-on and focus on just a few tasks at a time while others prefer to be a manager for many people, so you don't go as deep yourself, but get to have a hand in everything)

- What other things can motivate you about your daily work or work environment? (e.g. a good cafeteria, short commute, flexible hours, etc.)

The balance of how important each of these aspects are vary from person to person, and for a person over time. For example I was working at a game engine company and while I loved the vision (that I could help thousands of creative people turn their ideas onto reality) and the colleagues (places with great visions tend to attract really cool people) and while it was initially a fun challenge to get the hang of C++, I eventually got tired of the cruft of a legacy codebase, and probably most importantly, I felt like I was wasting my most productive years realizing someone else's dream instead of building up a company of my own, like I'd been dreaming of. I was lucky enough to find a co-founder just at the right time, because I also know about myself that I tend to get demotivated if I'm not interacting with other people daily.

Anyways, the point is, 'fighting down' procrastination is a necessary skill sometimes, but sometimes you also just have to listen to what your subconscious is telling you about what motivates you and find something that does. It's important every once in a while to look at both if you're going somewhere you want to go, and if the path that you're taking there is one you care to walk on. There's no shame in realizing that something that used to motivate you doesn't anymore, or something else has become more important to you now. People grow, and boredom and dissatisfaction is part of what drives us to do so.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#89
It is normal in the sense that it isn't unnatural. It is normal in the sense that this is something many people experience, maybe in software in particular. It isn't normal in the sense that it is something that you should expect. If you continue to struggle with work you will be unhappy and many people are.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#90

I can relate a lot. I'm still burning through self-motivation hacks at 35, some of which are helping while most don't. Eventually, the hack with by far the largest impact (which brought me to currently being cofounder and CTO of one of the more successful German startups) was realizing that while I simply suck at self-motivating, I never had a problem getting stuff done when working for others. I effortlessly produce…

Very much the same. While I can do work myself, I get much more done with others. I'd get distracted or tired if I worked alone, but on a call with someone else I can go for hours, or often until they say they need a break. It helps.
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