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Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

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Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#271

Post by dandare »

thaumaturgy wrote: post #248
verroq wrote: post #105

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Rude people are sexist" or "Sexist people are rude" is about the only conclusion you can draw here (maybe not even that, correlation != causation etc etc) It doesn't even come close to showing how "sexism is everywhere". For all we know the sample could be entirely edgy 12 year olds. Tell me again how this self-admittedly "non-rigorous scientific study" proves "sexism is everywhere"? It could easily be that more att…

I am so glad someone on HN is here to enforce rigorous standards when it comes to this topic, in particular. Because there have been multiple accounts of bad behavior, both subtle and not-subtle, at tech conferences ( https://shift.newco.co/what-its-like-to-be-a-woman-at-a-tech... , https://blog.juliaferraioli.com/2014/08/do-you-even.html ), but those aren't studies, they're just isolated experiences, so we can ignor…

The only thing I disagree with is the assertion that women in tech (STEM?) have somehow different/worse experience than women in general. Or at least I can not imagine why that would be the case - are educated and intelligent men more sexist than the average Joe? I think the main difference is that in tech we are much more open to acknowledge the problem and discuss it.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#272

Post by [deleted] »

totalZero wrote: post #196
hycaria wrote: post #190

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>Since I am male, I was not threatened but amused, but I can see how a woman would feel vulnerable in the same situation. Why ?

In the US, the average guy is five inches taller and about 30 pounds heavier than the average lady. Also, given a particular body weight, men tend to be stronger than women. Furthermore, 80% of people arrested for violent crime are men. Seems pretty clear to me.

[deleted]

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#273

Post by mikulas_florek »

aninhumer wrote: post #162
Double_a_92 wrote: post #144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Female photos, especially the second model photo, look incredibly fake. I guess people use that unwanted box to vent to frustations with what seems to be a bot?

The perception that female photos look fake is still sexism. It suggests people believe it less likely that a woman would be on the other end of the conversation. And you suggesting that perception as an explanation without challenging it kind of demonstrates how this is a pervasive problem. Now I agree that the model photo looks a little more artificial for reasons beyond gender, and they should probably have compar…

>The perception that female photos look fake is still sexism

Except it's not. Stock photos of good looking women are routinely used in marketing to attract users. It's proven by stats from A/B testing.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#274

Post by ashelmire »

jakobegger wrote: post #101

Amazing. The author spends a lot of time to tell us a very convincing story how sexism affects people in our industry, and the Hacker News thread is full of people rationalizing it. - it's only because people think you're a bot - it's because of your target audience - it's because chat widgets are annoying - you don't really have enough data to make any conclusions How much will it take to convince the average HN rea…

You can believe sexual harassment is everywhere and also believe chat widgets are annoying. Sadly, women getting harassed on the internet by anonymous strangers, while unfortunate, is not a novel revelation. Anyone who says it isn’t common has their head in the sand. You can’t help people like that.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#275

Post by throwaway-hn123 »

If anyone wants to see how many males talk to females online, go to chatous.com, use a female name, and start chatting.

"wanna fuck baby" "look at the pic of my cock hoe" "i hv big dik u lik" "sned ur nudes" "u cunt" "ima rape ur n ur mothr"

all that in a 1 hour session.

Anyone rationalising this should be ashamed of themeselves.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#276

Post by throwaway-hn123 »

verroq wrote: post #105
jakobegger wrote: post #101

Amazing. The author spends a lot of time to tell us a very convincing story how sexism affects people in our industry, and the Hacker News thread is full of people rationalizing it. - it's only because people think you're a bot - it's because of your target audience - it's because chat widgets are annoying - you don't really have enough data to make any conclusions How much will it take to convince the average HN rea…

"Rude people are sexist" or "Sexist people are rude" is about the only conclusion you can draw here (maybe not even that, correlation != causation etc etc) It doesn't even come close to showing how "sexism is everywhere". For all we know the sample could be entirely edgy 12 year olds. Tell me again how this self-admittedly "non-rigorous scientific study" proves "sexism is everywhere"? It could easily be that more att…

Post your contact details, mate. I'll come visit you and give you a personal explanation, ok?

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#277

Post by mentos »

jamra wrote: post #68
throwaway613834 wrote: post #24

Honest question: What's the logic behind being so utterly rude from the first moment to someone you find attractive? Is it supposed to attract them back somehow?

I don't have an answer based on any kind of scientific information, but I have a theory about this. I think that young boys who are learning how to behave towards women test their boundaries. Since they are anonymous, they go way too far into aggression. So I think the combination of being at the bottom of the food chain in terms of being a mate combines with their anonymity and their lack of actual social skills in…

Ha maybe the response to this type of abuse is to link the offender to research like that

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#278

Post by afpx »

verroq wrote: post #265
thaumaturgy wrote: post #248

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am so glad someone on HN is here to enforce rigorous standards when it comes to this topic, in particular. Because there have been multiple accounts of bad behavior, both subtle and not-subtle, at tech conferences ( https://shift.newco.co/what-its-like-to-be-a-woman-at-a-tech... , https://blog.juliaferraioli.com/2014/08/do-you-even.html ), but those aren't studies, they're just isolated experiences, so we can ignor…

>I am so glad someone on HN is here to enforce rigorous standards when it comes to this topic, in particular. I am so glad someone on HN is here to tell us exactly why we aren't allowed to have a rigorous discussion when it comes to this topic, in particular. It is interesting how you immediately reframe women getting harassed as misogyny. Nevermind women likely get more attention online as well. Let's have a look at…

You have some very good points, but your tone comes across as emotional and aggressive enough to inadvertently turn off some of your intended audience. So, in your case a little ‘appeal to emotion’ may help. Maybe you guys can meet in the middle.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#280

Post by pc86 »

Jaruzel wrote: post #161
tim333 wrote: post #143

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As another surprised guy I'm aware people post bad things on the internet but I wasn't aware of the degree of difference between having a male and female picture as I haven't tried that.

Surprised here also (I'm a guy in my 40s; 25 years online) - I know there are people online with no manners, and I go out of my way not to interact with them, but the sheer level of abuse shown here (and sadly elsewhere too) constantly amazes and upsets me. The obvious thing to do is to remove anonymity from the Internet. However then what do we do about peoples rights[1] to free speech? --- [1] Not every country giv…

Whether a country "gives" someone the right to free speech is irrelevant, it is still a right they have as a human being. That's sort of the entire point of "inalienable," in that it's not in the government's power to bestow or take away.
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