Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

Its more than sexism. It's misogyny. Or sarcastic emulation of misogyny, for trolling. Which has the same impact on targets.

However, it's hard to know how prevalent these attitudes and behavior are. Because observations aren't independent. One asshole posts on some chan about a fun target, and then his friends compete with each other. And it could even be scripted.

I think anyone remotely familiar with the internet won't be surprised by these outcomes. Of course the occasional reality check is always good.

I wonder to what extent plucky startups expect abuse when they put pop-up chat dialogs in their products. I imagine it's inescapable that some percentage of your user base is going to see it as an invitation to respond poorly. Something door-to-door salespeople and telemarketers learned long ago. I suppose abuse filtering is still an unsolved problem waiting to make someone rich.

I suspect that you're deliberately missing the point, but I'll tell it to you anyway.

It's not about the percentage of visitors that were abusive. It's the number of people who were abusive when they thought they were talking to a female vs. a male.

I don't think this is anything new at all in itself. Chats, anonymous comments, forums, public walls, etc just allow these weirdos to express themselves out of that place of theirs that is unattached to reality.

Already in the 90's there were a few handfuls of pesterers of the similar kind on IRC. There would've been more but IRC was such a nerdy tool underground that only a few of them ever found themselves there.

But the phenomenon has there for a long time: it's just that before internet there were few places where you could do this in public. I think most of the similar chatter must have happened between male friends of young age, hanging out and exchanging comments on hot-looking passer-bys and maybe wooing after some or alternatively yelling bitchy remarks.

Even this wouldn't be tolerated in better parts of the town. But on the internet, all you need is a text input box.

I have a friend that had a _very_ similar experience when changing her LinkedIn profile photo. She's an expert in her industry and the vast difference in the lack of patronizing comments and unsolicited weird messages was pretty striking.