Earlier quoted context omitted.
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Your survey doesn't make sense. The answer for "More" freedom apparently involves more constraints?
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The Case for the “Self-Driven Child”
41–50 of 238 posts
Re: The Case for the “Self-Driven Child”
#42I find it tough to get my kids to socialize more without scheduling them especially on weekends. Daycare is good because they exercise and run wild. But weekends are hard because the kids are just not out there anymore, so you have to coordinate with other parents.
It's tough in the transition age where some kids are still leading very restriced lives and others have more freedom. Once they are in their later teens things get a little easier when most kids get themselves around unsupervised.
In that age the kids have dual problems of many hours of "the pen" also known as school, potentially followed by extracurriculars which may or may not be at the same place, then transit times.
This is essentially the same problem parents face with extended commute times and workloads. Money can lessen these to an extent, huge money a lot more...
It is funny that you maker your kid get "downtime" while you cannot take any for yourself.
Only a chosen few are free and in control, that is the sad fact of modern life.
Re: The Case for the “Self-Driven Child”
#43There's a certain irony in this. By putting restrictions on kids (no screens, digital downtime, etc), we expect them to become self-driven. This is a great idea in theory, but it also seems pretty likely that a kid will go to their friends house to watch Youtube videos, when I would just as soon have them (and their friends, if necessary) at my house doing that where at least I have some sense of what they are watchi…
For some reason, whenever I hear parenting advice (especially related to technology usage) and see that it's from someone my parents' age, I automatically stop listening. I feel like they are so far removed from the challenges of parenting in this decade that they have nothing to offer us. Not that our challenges are harder than theirs, but just that they're such a different set of challenges that we can't relate to…
"These are the moments when I wished I'd listened more to my mother"
"Ok, what did she say?"
"I don't know, I never listened..."
Re: The Case for the “Self-Driven Child”
#44Earlier quoted context omitted.
The reason it's recommended that kids under age two have zero screen time has nothing to do with the content though, it has purely to do with whether the rapidly changing imagery is increasing the risk for ADHD and damaging their executive function or whatever.
As shown by which experimental studies? Or perhaps good epidemiology at least?
Decent epidemiology for the harms combined with other studies showing no benefit from screen time.
Re: The Case for the “Self-Driven Child”
#45.
Kids have less unstructured time than in a few generations. And they often have little saw over how that time is structured. And that structured time is usually spent on pointless exercises determined by adults. They aren't helping grandpa on the farm and they aren't reading comic books with their friends in a tree fort. They're being ran around by their moms to whatever sport or activity she can find to make them more socialized.
Re: The Case for the “Self-Driven Child”
#46Look at reward signals. Elementary through high school is a little sliver of what a collapsed marxist society looks like - no positive rewards signals just negative arbitrary ones. I was programming at 8 but apparently to be "well rounded" I had to do all this other stuff that non-coders deemed important. Meanwhile there was no "safe base" for me or anyone else who grew up poor. But at least now I can also now see sc…
I was programming at 8 but apparently to be "well rounded" I had to do all this other stuff
I think restricting education from the age of 8 onwards based on what a given 8-year-old likes at that point is just asking for trouble.
Re: The Case for the “Self-Driven Child”
#47Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I think what you'd basically find in a survey This is a flimsy setup for your conclusions, which you seem confident about. Do you have data from an actual survey?
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self reported opinions polls are the very definition of an unrepresentative poll http://methods.sagepub.com/reference/encyclopedia-of-survey-...
Re: The Case for the “Self-Driven Child”
#48Are video games still considered an addiction by someone?
Yup, by me. Source: I'm 32 and if I could I'd spend all my time playing video games. This hasn't changed much from back when I was a kid. Doesn't help that games are so much better nowadays either. FACTORIO IS CRACK COCAINE. Just cheaper and with less withdrawal effects.
Factorio is terrible, the developers must have all TN displays, that's how dark it is on my superior IPS display.
Gotta go, my dwarfen outpost needs me for some more FUN.
Re: The Case for the “Self-Driven Child”
#49Earlier quoted context omitted.
For some reason, whenever I hear parenting advice (especially related to technology usage) and see that it's from someone my parents' age, I automatically stop listening. I feel like they are so far removed from the challenges of parenting in this decade that they have nothing to offer us. Not that our challenges are harder than theirs, but just that they're such a different set of challenges that we can't relate to…
"automatically stop listening" is of course what young people always do to their elders but once the shoe is on the other foot you'll realize the wisdom of all that outdated advice. The details change but the basic patterns are eternally the same.
It feels like the difference between the parent as a judge and a guide and the parent as a manager and secretary.
My parents seemed to worry more about preventing kids from getting into trouble or making the wrong friends. My wife and I worry more about how to get them out of the house and make friends, period... and I hear this sentiment echoed every so often on HN (this being one of them).
How do you get teenagers to go outside and interact with other teenagers? That would not even be a question 30 years ago. The question would be how to stop them from doing so.
The advice I hear from the older generation so often just comes down to, "let kids be kids," but what about when you have to actually teach (and in some cases, force) kids to be kids? For my kids to have a healthy childhood, I almost have to create that childhood for them.
Re: The Case for the “Self-Driven Child”
#50Look at reward signals. Elementary through high school is a little sliver of what a collapsed marxist society looks like - no positive rewards signals just negative arbitrary ones. I was programming at 8 but apparently to be "well rounded" I had to do all this other stuff that non-coders deemed important. Meanwhile there was no "safe base" for me or anyone else who grew up poor. But at least now I can also now see sc…
I was programming at 8 but apparently to be "well rounded" I had to do all this other stuff I think restricting education from the age of 8 onwards based on what a given 8-year-old likes at that point is just asking for trouble.
Not what OP said. You can totally give them freedom while providing some guidance. Instead of siting in class, let them read things they are interested in.