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What Teenagers Are Learning from Online Porn

nytimes.com

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Re: What Teenagers Are Learning from Online Porn

#51

Post by sexoffender »

bhnmmhmd wrote: post #20
jurassic wrote: post #15

I am on day 81 of a 90 day porn reset. It’s been hard at times but my real life sexual experiences seem greatly improved and I plan to continue abstinence from porn after the reset period ends. Seeing that I can modify behavior by setting attainable medium term goals has made me excited to tackle some other personal challenges too. The site https://www.yourbrainonporn.com is what got me interested in trying to quit.…

I wonder which one is better: 1) Quit Porn 2) Stop Masturbation Any ideas?

Why not both? Let your SO be the only one who pleases you on this level, physically, mentally and emotionally. Ignore those voices that try to tell you that you can't be happy without these old ways of pleasing yourself. Your relationship will improve 100x, I speak from experience.

Re: What Teenagers Are Learning from Online Porn

#52

Post by beaner »

meowface wrote: post #42
sexoffender wrote: post #37

My oldest son recently developed a porn habit in secret, and the things we saw in his search history showed a clear progression from googling "boobs" and "nudity" to "pissing" and "bondage". Pornography isn't even close to what it was 30 years ago when you for the most part only saw it in nudie mags that your dad had (or friend had who stole it from his dad). Today, kids have easy access to a wealth of horrifying and…

Why do you think you need to prevent your son from watching porn, especially to the point that you need to completely remove his access to the Internet?

I wouldn't say it's necessarily the thing to do, but there is a chance that it forms an addiction and/or bad habits which life might be more enjoyable without. I don't prescribe to the "porn is evil" mantra, but that doesn't mean it can't do harm.

There are whole comminutes of people who are trying to recover from porn addiction because of the way it had negatively affected their lives. See /r/nofap and yourbrainonporn.com.

If you've never been negatively affected by it, good for you. I can see why you be skeptical that it could do harm to anyone. Most people rely on their own anecdotal experience to form their opinions. But keep an open mind, not everyone responds the same way to these things.

I don't blame parents for trying to look out for their children. They just need to make sure they're doing it in a sane, reasonable way.

Re: What Teenagers Are Learning from Online Porn

#53

Post by joncrane »

bhnmmhmd wrote: post #20
jurassic wrote: post #15

I am on day 81 of a 90 day porn reset. It’s been hard at times but my real life sexual experiences seem greatly improved and I plan to continue abstinence from porn after the reset period ends. Seeing that I can modify behavior by setting attainable medium term goals has made me excited to tackle some other personal challenges too. The site https://www.yourbrainonporn.com is what got me interested in trying to quit.…

I wonder which one is better: 1) Quit Porn 2) Stop Masturbation Any ideas?

Quit porn for sure.

Re: What Teenagers Are Learning from Online Porn

#54

Post by sosuke »

mintplant wrote: post #49
ghostcluster wrote: post #5

> Fewer teenagers have early sex than in the past (in a recent study, 24 percent of American ninth graders had sex; in 1995 about 37 percent had), and arrests of teenagers for sexual assault are also down. But you don’t have to believe that porn leads to sexual assault or that it’s creating a generation of brutal men to wonder how it helps shape how teenagers talk and think about sex and, by extension, their ideas ab…

You're doing that HN thing where someone cherry-picks a couple of segments from the article, wraps them in a bit of leading commentary, and pastes it at the top of the comments for everyone who skipped reading the piece to attach their agreement to.

I didn't think it was possible to choose a position for a comment appear in. I do learn new easter eggs about HN from time to time like formatting. Most of my comments start in the middle or bottom from my questionable memory.

Re: What Teenagers Are Learning from Online Porn

#55

Post by ceejayoz »

sexoffender wrote: post #46
meowface wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why do you think you need to prevent your son from watching porn, especially to the point that you need to completely remove his access to the Internet?

Once he started doing it, everything in his life declined. He stopped having healthy relationships with his siblings and his friends at school. He started to be much more angry and even sometimes violent, and when we examine the situations in detail, we see that none of it is justified, and he's always the one saying everyone is out to get him when he is actually the one doing wrong. He's become a lot more arrogant a…

It's possible you're mixing up cause and effect here.

The hormonal changes that tend to cause kids to become interested in porn can cause those other elements as well. It's not unusual for even a teenager with no interest in porn to be quick to anger, feel persecuted, be arrogant, etc.

"Won't participate in things that he doesn't personally see any value or benefit in" probably describes 98% of high school students.

Re: What Teenagers Are Learning from Online Porn

#56

Post by rayiner »

ghostcluster wrote: post #5

> Fewer teenagers have early sex than in the past (in a recent study, 24 percent of American ninth graders had sex; in 1995 about 37 percent had), and arrests of teenagers for sexual assault are also down. But you don’t have to believe that porn leads to sexual assault or that it’s creating a generation of brutal men to wonder how it helps shape how teenagers talk and think about sex and, by extension, their ideas ab…

It’s a common reporter shtick. “Here is objective evidence that supports one view. Without disclosing that I have an agenda, I’m going to present completely anecdotal information to support a contrary view.”

Once you recognize the pattern, you see it in articles everywhere.

Re: What Teenagers Are Learning from Online Porn

#57

Post by neutronicus »

The impression I've gotten is actually that women's demand for rough sex (and "kink" more generally) outstrips the number of men that enjoy it. I don't know to what degree it's related to porn, but ... if you're worried that porn is making men too into choking for the real-world sexual climate, I don't think that's true.

Re: What Teenagers Are Learning from Online Porn

#58

Post by Spellman »

sexoffender wrote: post #46
meowface wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why do you think you need to prevent your son from watching porn, especially to the point that you need to completely remove his access to the Internet?

Once he started doing it, everything in his life declined. He stopped having healthy relationships with his siblings and his friends at school. He started to be much more angry and even sometimes violent, and when we examine the situations in detail, we see that none of it is justified, and he's always the one saying everyone is out to get him when he is actually the one doing wrong. He's become a lot more arrogant a…

First, how are you sure it's correlation and not causation? Perhaps he's being driven to porn/developing the habit as self-medication?

Also, as to your previous point that it will lead to "harder" stuff, a recent study says no. Yes, there will be more opportunity and exploration of the topic, but that's something that will happen eventually to all individuals. It isn't studied very well, but at least this initial one says we don't naturally become more tolerant and require "harder" pornography over time. https://www.lehmiller.com/blog/2018/2/5/can-you-build-up-a-t...

Re: What Teenagers Are Learning from Online Porn

#60

Post by beaner »

sexoffender wrote: post #46
meowface wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why do you think you need to prevent your son from watching porn, especially to the point that you need to completely remove his access to the Internet?

Once he started doing it, everything in his life declined. He stopped having healthy relationships with his siblings and his friends at school. He started to be much more angry and even sometimes violent, and when we examine the situations in detail, we see that none of it is justified, and he's always the one saying everyone is out to get him when he is actually the one doing wrong. He's become a lot more arrogant a…

This is probably honestly just be puberty, and porn may actually be a release that helps with this stage in his life and all of the unseen anxieties he has right now.

There may be a correlation but you really have no idea what the cause is. You shouldn't assume it's this one thing. It may prevent you from being able to offer more meaningful help.

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