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What Teenagers Are Learning from Online Porn

nytimes.com

21–30 of 148 posts

Re: What Teenagers Are Learning from Online Porn

#21

> Fewer teenagers have early sex than in the past (in a recent study, 24 percent of American ninth graders had sex; in 1995 about 37 percent had), and arrests of teenagers for sexual assault are also down. But you don’t have to believe that porn leads to sexual assault or that it’s creating a generation of brutal men to wonder how it helps shape how teenagers talk and think about sex and, by extension, their ideas ab…

So the men you meet on a hookup site (and particularly, a hookup site for people you’re unlikely to choose to build a life with) are less romantic than the men you met organically?

Color me shocked!

Re: What Teenagers Are Learning from Online Porn

#22
post #6

The insistence of parents to control their children via censorship and other means, as well as view them as some perfect child is more harmful than any porn. The fact that the article itself and comments to the article talk about kids learning about such things from other kids and websites instead of their parents is pretty much case and point. There is no downside to talking to your kid about sexuality and other thi…

"Censorship" here is a big scary word for very basic common sense parenting: recognizing that kids of different ages, personalities, and emotional maturity are not ready to be exposed to some things.

I agree with your assessment that parents should talk to their kids more about difficult topics at all ages, in an age-appropriate way, of course.

But you can take this too far and end up with the idea that parents should be fine with their kids seeing any kind of sexual, violent, or other disturbing content no matter their age or maturity level.

Re: What Teenagers Are Learning from Online Porn

#23

> Fewer teenagers have early sex than in the past (in a recent study, 24 percent of American ninth graders had sex; in 1995 about 37 percent had), and arrests of teenagers for sexual assault are also down. But you don’t have to believe that porn leads to sexual assault or that it’s creating a generation of brutal men to wonder how it helps shape how teenagers talk and think about sex and, by extension, their ideas ab…

>> Can they be taught to see it more critically?

That's because this is a critical theory analysis, not a critical thinking one.

Re: What Teenagers Are Learning from Online Porn

#24
My mother is a retired police officer who sometimes worked on homicide investigations.

She once pointed out to me that the way police work is portrayed on TV series is very different from what police officers do when investigating a homicide. And with good reason: If TV showed an accurate version of how murders are solved (or often enough not), it would be really, really boring to watch. On the other hand a real-life murder investigation can be quite harrowing because somebody actually died by the hand of another person. That element is very hard to reproduce, which is why death is portrayed so banally in crime programs.

The relation between porn and real-life sexuality is strikingly similar, is it not?

Re: What Teenagers Are Learning from Online Porn

#25
post #4

The availability and ease for this type of content is scary especially when children are more connected than ever. Pornography kills love (Edit: https://fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-kills-love/ ). Love is extremely important for human beings and civilizations. It drives art, philosophy, faith, religion, etc. It is love that produced great works throughout history. I read some where there was going to be a TLD for por…

>Pornography kills love. Can you expound on this further? What exactly does it mean and what evidence is there to support it?

Love is the wanting good for another person even if it costs you personally. Porn teaches you to want pleasure for yourself, even if it costs someone else. That's not love, that's lust.

The chemicals released in your body and especially brain during orgasm build a closer connection and bond within you to the concepts and people you focused on during it. Pornography trains you to be selfish. Whereas having sex and both orgasming at the same time, focuses your mind on making your partner happy and that mutual self-giving becomes what you crave. Because it's based on love, that same mutual self-giving carries over into the rest of your life, and you find more happiness in giving gifts than receiving them, in doing more chores so they don't have to, etc. That's love.

Re: What Teenagers Are Learning from Online Porn

#26

I am on day 81 of a 90 day porn reset. It’s been hard at times but my real life sexual experiences seem greatly improved and I plan to continue abstinence from porn after the reset period ends. Seeing that I can modify behavior by setting attainable medium term goals has made me excited to tackle some other personal challenges too. The site https://www.yourbrainonporn.com is what got me interested in trying to quit.…

I wonder which one is better: 1) Quit Porn 2) Stop Masturbation Any ideas?

I've tried quitting either for years, very much addicted. Or at least a very strong coping mechanism.

If you're anything like me, it's more or less impossible to quit one and have the other. Watching porn will eventually lead to masturbation and vice versa.

I've recently tried taking the half-measure of exclusively audio pornography (/r/gonewildaudio) - in an effort to see if I notice any changes in my perception of women or anything. Been on it exclusively for a few weeks now and I feel the same. If anything, I'm more tired since it takes much longer without the visual stimulation.

Re: What Teenagers Are Learning from Online Porn

#27

> Fewer teenagers have early sex than in the past (in a recent study, 24 percent of American ninth graders had sex; in 1995 about 37 percent had), and arrests of teenagers for sexual assault are also down. But you don’t have to believe that porn leads to sexual assault or that it’s creating a generation of brutal men to wonder how it helps shape how teenagers talk and think about sex and, by extension, their ideas ab…

>I am tired of seeing issues framed this way: "Despite all objective evidence, my ideology drives the view that it must be making men brutal and compromising women's power"

The paragraph you quoted is literally saying "although evidence suggests porn does not increase assault, no matter what you believe about it it helps shape the views of people who watch it on sex and gender" which is the most obvious, tepid, noncontroversial statement that is devoid of any framing at all. You are literally complaining about an example the author uses of an opinion she does not have. The primary complaint you should have about this paragraph is how contentless it is, not some weird claim about how the statement that media effects culture is somehow malicious framing.

>Seriously, NYTimes? This is activism, not inquiry. I'm disappointed.

Yes, how dare someone who writes about a topic have actual experience with it that informs their opinions. I think it's actually far worse to have a "detached, impartial observer" (which of course does not exist) writing about a topic on which they have zero relevant experience. Which is pretty much standard operating procedure with NYT. How many articles are there in NYT from media elites pretending they understand the poor? Countless. This article is a refreshing positive change.

Re: What Teenagers Are Learning from Online Porn

#28

I am on day 81 of a 90 day porn reset. It’s been hard at times but my real life sexual experiences seem greatly improved and I plan to continue abstinence from porn after the reset period ends. Seeing that I can modify behavior by setting attainable medium term goals has made me excited to tackle some other personal challenges too. The site https://www.yourbrainonporn.com is what got me interested in trying to quit.…

I wonder which one is better: 1) Quit Porn 2) Stop Masturbation Any ideas?

[deleted]

Re: What Teenagers Are Learning from Online Porn

#29
post #9

> Fewer teenagers have early sex than in the past (in a recent study, 24 percent of American ninth graders had sex; in 1995 about 37 percent had), and arrests of teenagers for sexual assault are also down. But you don’t have to believe that porn leads to sexual assault or that it’s creating a generation of brutal men to wonder how it helps shape how teenagers talk and think about sex and, by extension, their ideas ab…

"I'm not saying that {insert hyperbole here}, but you might wonder how {insert tangentially related topic here}" My favorite kind of reasoning!

Except that's not the reasoning at all. They're saying:

"You might think that A would cause B, but the data doesn't show that. However, it's reasonable to ask if A does have any effects other than B."

Re: What Teenagers Are Learning from Online Porn

#30
post #6

The insistence of parents to control their children via censorship and other means, as well as view them as some perfect child is more harmful than any porn. The fact that the article itself and comments to the article talk about kids learning about such things from other kids and websites instead of their parents is pretty much case and point. There is no downside to talking to your kid about sexuality and other thi…

"Censorship" here is a big scary word for very basic common sense parenting: recognizing that kids of different ages, personalities, and emotional maturity are not ready to be exposed to some things. I agree with your assessment that parents should talk to their kids more about difficult topics at all ages, in an age-appropriate way, of course. But you can take this too far and end up with the idea that parents shoul…

But why is that too far to assume a child can be exposed to the same things as an adult, ask the same questions, etc? There's this concept that if a child is exposed to something too early it will corrupt their morality or sensibilities and I just don't see it.
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