61–70 of 121 posts
> They reference recent results from the World Values Survey, where respondents were asked how much they agreed with the claim that, "If a woman earns more money than her husband, it's almost certain to cause problems." That sounds a bit to me like a push poll. I wonder if you phrased the question in a gender-neutral way how the responses would change.
Looking at this from another perspective: As a modern woman who makes good money, I'd be comfortable in theory with marrying a man who makes far less than I do. The problem with that in practice is gender roles in marriage. It's still the norm for women to be responsible for the lion's share of cooking, cleaning, and childrearing. Even in the marriages with the most "woke" husbands I see among my friends, the wife al…
While it may nice to imagine an idyllic world devoid of gender roles, that simply is not reality across the board. Each couple has their own idiosyncrasies and forcing a social pattern or demeaning traditional ones always ends in failure.
There is a continuum of personalities, yet recent movements seem to assume a strict dichotomy exists and seek to tear down a division that is unique to each individual.
This is not to say that you should assume a traditional role, only that before offering a one-size-fits-all solution it is worth keeping in mind that what works for you will not necessarily do so for others. Certain acts such as abuse, murder and theft are universally accepted as wrong; it's when opinion becomes demand that respect fades and hostility builds. It happens in both male and female-led societies.
A simpler solution may be to encourage individual discovery with awareness of history - what is occurring now is nothing new :)
Earlier quoted context omitted.
No tax breaks in the UK, haven’t been in a looooong time, with the sole exception of inheritance
https://www.gov.uk/marriage-allowance
Interesting article. It is suggesting there is a smaller supply of marriageable men. On the demand side, we are also seeing more and more educated, career focused women. I feel like there are many who have a desire to have children and therefore would like to marry someone who can support them. Typically this means marrying a man who earns more than you. The thing is if you're a women, the more you earn, the smaller…
As another commented has suggested this might not be an issue when gender roles get removed, but I have a sneaking suspicion that this will just leave both parties unsatisfied with the result.
I would argue that innate biological differences contribute to the different gender based desires, and hence affect the different gender roles.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
That's factually not true, women rarely date down. Women, on average, prefer slightly older men, equally or more educated then themselves, more successful than themselves financially, in good physical shape, dominant/aggressive. That's why we always hear "where did all the good men go?" from women, even though they are surrounded by guys who throw themselves at the women. So since more women and fewer men started goi…
That's factually not true, women rarely date down I call shenanigans. A guy will no prospects and a guitar will never be wanting for interest. It’s a cliche for a reason. Now this guy may not be husband material, but the criteria was “date”...
In this arena the status markers may be different from individual evaluation (with some general markers shared).
It's pretty common to notice that women who like guys with long hair in a band and women who like 'successful' (whatever that means) men are not usually the same, just different selection criteria at work.
Interesting article. It is suggesting there is a smaller supply of marriageable men. On the demand side, we are also seeing more and more educated, career focused women. I feel like there are many who have a desire to have children and therefore would like to marry someone who can support them. Typically this means marrying a man who earns more than you. The thing is if you're a women, the more you earn, the smaller…
I think the job/economy weights much less then the fact that marriage gives absolutely zero benefits for men in western society and implies a lot of risks.
Looking at this from another perspective: As a modern woman who makes good money, I'd be comfortable in theory with marrying a man who makes far less than I do. The problem with that in practice is gender roles in marriage. It's still the norm for women to be responsible for the lion's share of cooking, cleaning, and childrearing. Even in the marriages with the most "woke" husbands I see among my friends, the wife al…
> And if both are breadwinners, almost invariably the homemaking burden falls more heavily on the wife. Which is why I'm in favor of outsourcing (i.e. cleaning, take-out, blue apron). My friends (she's a doctor and he's a product manager) say getting a cleaner is the best thing they could have done for their relationship
How does outsourcing help with a crying baby at 2am? How does outsourcing help with the mental burden of worrying about whether the kids have their shots and annual dentist visits and don't forget that you have to go shopping because they outgrew their shoes?
And if you're raising two kids on a $35k nursing salary and the $15k your husband earns at the minimum wage job that's all that's available to him, how are you going to afford any of that anyway?
Looking at this from another perspective: As a modern woman who makes good money, I'd be comfortable in theory with marrying a man who makes far less than I do. The problem with that in practice is gender roles in marriage. It's still the norm for women to be responsible for the lion's share of cooking, cleaning, and childrearing. Even in the marriages with the most "woke" husbands I see among my friends, the wife al…
> The solution, in my opinion, would be to continue to erase traditional gender roles. If most of the men out there were ready to take on the homemaker role enthusiastically, I would be far more willing to consider them as partners even if they make a fraction of what I do. The solution is not merely one sided. Women must also be willing to 'give up' those roles. Say what you will about men stepping up but my ongoing…
Thinking in terms of "sides", "them", "us" is harmful. Sexism can be internalized by anybody.
The topic is delicate, but the comments here have, unusually, not satisfied my interest in the slightest. There is an interesting debate on something here, but the parameters of the question are poorly articulated.
How is a community supposed to gauge the importance of even the opening questions raised by this article? Do we care more about securing the next generation? Creating a world where women get first pick of the role they will fill? Judging the value of marriage as an institution? Whining about how men/women have it tough?
The structure of families have fundamental and far reaching demographic consequences. It is important at a clash-of-civilisations level and can make or break cultures. It'd be pleasing to have a language to talk about that without resorting immediately to anecdotes and solutions.