Don't you think this is kind of a ridiculous question?
"How does a relationship affect my business?"
As much as you let it. Each relationship is different. Different people. You are basically asking "How well am I doing?".
Ask HN: How does marriage affect the creation of a (successful) startup?
41–50 of 51 posts
Re: Ask HN: How does marriage affect the creation of a (successful) startup?
#42I'm married to my co-founder. Neither of us work through the night. Recently we quit working weekends. We spend too much time at our computers lately, but that's more out of laziness and lack of originality than anything else. Occasionally, we yell at each other about work, but then I hear married people do that about other things, like laundry. We have one SaaS out in the wild, another under development, 1 ebook, an…
Amy, Freckle is great! I really love the UI and the attention to details that you guys put in. I'm glad that you guys are doing amazing. You are amongst my heroes/inspiring list of people :)
Re: Ask HN: How does marriage affect the creation of a (successful) startup?
#43Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is so true. I have a really hard time getting my girl friend to understand that I can't carry a conversation while coding... I brought it on myself trying to work in the same room she does though. If I could I would 100% have a private area to work in. I dream of having a house with a PRIVATE study right now.
why not go to a cafe?
It is possibly more difficult to concentrate in a cafe (if by "cafe" you mean something like Starbucks or Second Cup), what with all the people coming in and out and all the chatter.
I have not extensively tried to work or study in a cafe myself, so I don't know how well I cope with all the distraction.
Re: Ask HN: How does marriage affect the creation of a (successful) startup?
#44Well, many say that a start-up is like getting married. Therefore, it would be a lot like polygamy...?
This said, so many jobs for 23-28 year olds who are high-achieving driven people (but maybe not entrepreneurs) have similarly crushing hours, so, it's not like start-ups are such an unfair choice.
I don't know from experience, but I think #1 would be talking with your spouse and making sure at least there is a baseline understanding.
Re: Ask HN: How does marriage affect the creation of a (successful) startup?
#45I don't remember where I read it but if fits your situation:
Startups are like roller-casters, it always requires your attention no matter in what stage you are. And you need a life!
This means that you have to balance personal life with startup.
Otherwise you have to be like Steve Jobs for whom business is a lifestyle.
Re: Ask HN: How does marriage affect the creation of a (successful) startup?
#46I'm one of the founders of http://AdGrok.com -- we're in the current YC batch. I just turned 40 (one week before demo day!), have a wife (we just celebrated our 16th anniversary), and two kids (8 and 10).
I'd look carefully at your situation. Through this whole experience, my wife has been amazingly supportive -- there were no hesitations on her part as to whether I should go for it or not. She's been just as important for me in keeping the AdGrok ball rolling forward as my co-founders have.
Make sure all parties involved know what they're going into. It's my fourth startup (the second I was a founder in), so she knew I was going to be "heads-down" for a decent duration, frequently coming home after she was asleep (or just sleeping at the office). Make sure she's expecting crazy-long work days. You don't want or need her surprised by anything in a month or two.
I've worked with hundreds of hackers through the years, and there's only one common regret voiced by the older of my hacker friends: it's the soul-tearing sadness of not spending enough time with your kids. Just try to keep that in the back of your mind -- you'll have to try to decide what "enough" means.
Good luck!
Re: Ask HN: How does marriage affect the creation of a (successful) startup?
#47Just look at 37signals. They have families and free time and hobbies and all of those other things that startup people aren't supposed to have.
I wouldn't necessarily categorize them as a "start-up" before. They're a mature, growing, and very profitable business.
Re: Ask HN: How does marriage affect the creation of a (successful) startup?
#48I'm not married and a year older than you, but I've always been long term relationship man. I imagine that a healthy marriage or long term relationship would only benefit you if she's supportive. It's not much different than being a researcher or resident MD or fighter pilot or any other demanding job, except with a bigger upside.
Kids seem to change everybody's life and would align attitudes towards risk differently etc.
Re: Ask HN: How does marriage affect the creation of a (successful) startup?
#49I'm married to my co-founder. Neither of us work through the night. Recently we quit working weekends. We spend too much time at our computers lately, but that's more out of laziness and lack of originality than anything else. Occasionally, we yell at each other about work, but then I hear married people do that about other things, like laundry. We have one SaaS out in the wild, another under development, 1 ebook, an…
Amy, Freckle is great! I really love the UI and the attention to details that you guys put in. I'm glad that you guys are doing amazing. You are amongst my heroes/inspiring list of people :)
Hey, thanks! :) Best of luck with Marrily, it looks quite nice. Go you for creating a product you can charge for!
Re: Ask HN: How does marriage affect the creation of a (successful) startup?
#50Earlier quoted context omitted.
Forgive me for being all Toyota-y, but we have a specific definition of "out of control", and it is not "the specific anticipated consequence of a policy which is culturally celebrated and is considered one of the defining features of our industry." I have some other issues with the assumption that any CRUD app can reasonably be said to be racing to market in 2010. Many "real" startups, for whatever definition of "re…
CRUD apps are only a very thin slice of the whole spectrum though. When you have a few hundred K of your own hard earned cash and a few million of investors money, as well as the livelihood of a number of people riding on your start-up succeeding or tanking and you hit a significant road block there is a very big temptation to dig in and try to save the company at the expense of your private life. Even in situations…
Yes, and to go into a business like that, and shape it in such a way that you have to work it like that, is a choice - ergo a social construct. An accidental, not platonic, trait of startups.