Why People Dislike Really Smart Leaders

The truth is, I was just trying to relate something I'd learned and thought was interesting and every time that happened I was kind of shocked and left wondering how they'd missed the gist of what I was talking about. My own mother did it. I finally stopped sharing things I thought they'd attack me for like that.

Then, in the 4th grade the city I went to school in had all the kids in the district take a test to measure intelligence, though they didn't tell us students that was what we were doing. About a month later my teacher asked my mother to meet her. She told my mom that I'd tested the 2nd highest in the district. She recommended that I be bumped up a couple grades so I could learn more. My mother told her "No. He'll be in the same grade as his older brother and that will cause problems at home." She also told the teacher that she didn't believe I was "that smart".

My teacher was shocked by that. She pulled me aside the next day and told me about the test, her conversation with my mother, and that she was sorry that she couldn't do more for me.

I'd never given a thought about me being "smarter" than anyone. I knew that school was easy for me as compared to some of the other kids that seemed to struggle but I figured they'd get the lessons soon enough. I never talked to anyone in my family about it. I knew they'd just humiliate me if I did.

A few years later I looked into IQ tests and saw the Bell Curve Graph and where I stood on it. Since then I've almost never, ever, mentioned it to anyone but a very few close friends who are no doubt in the same general area on that graph because the first few times I did I got hammered on hard.

Just a few years ago (50 years later) one of my cousins came to visit where I live now and I started talking about something I'd just read and they stopped me right in the middle of it and said "Why are you always trying to impress everyone by using big words." Brought me right back to when we were kids.

I've always known I couldn't be alone with these kinds of experiences, and this article confirms that, but it got me to thinking about how little this has has been discussed and how this kind of exposes that it's probably a far more pervasive problem than we know.

I do know that over the years I've pointed out why something wouldn't work as planned and been told I was wrong and then later proved right. More than a few times it was an expensive lesson to be learned for those who ignored me. And pretty much every time I was hated for pointing it out.

I've never given any thought to the problem or how to fix it but it would probably be interesting to attempt to measure the costs and ponder solutions to it.

Re: Why People Dislike Really Smart Leaders

#6

Post by zafka » Thu, Jan 18, 2018, 5:52 PM UTC

oblib wrote: post #5

When I was a kid my family would often chide me for using "big words" and told I was trying to "impress everyone" doing that. The truth is, I was just trying to relate something I'd learned and thought was interesting and every time that happened I was kind of shocked and left wondering how they'd missed the gist of what I was talking about. My own mother did it. I finally stopped sharing things I thought they'd atta…

I don't know my exact position on the curve, but I can relate. I find it ironic that many of the folks who score pretty high on general intelligence, often have an issue with social intelligence. I spend a lot of time now trying to study human nature in a game of catch-up. What most people seem to learn instinctively, I need to study.

Re: Why People Dislike Really Smart Leaders

#7

Post by grawprog » Thu, Jan 18, 2018, 5:55 PM UTC

I wonder how the study was conducted. Was it only iq they tested? Did they test the social abilities of the leaders? It may have more to do with higher iq people generally having less good social skills than people with lower iq's than anything to do with the actual intelligence of the person.

Re: Why People Dislike Really Smart Leaders

#8

Post by sirspacey » Thu, Jan 18, 2018, 6:07 PM UTC

oblib wrote: post #5

When I was a kid my family would often chide me for using "big words" and told I was trying to "impress everyone" doing that. The truth is, I was just trying to relate something I'd learned and thought was interesting and every time that happened I was kind of shocked and left wondering how they'd missed the gist of what I was talking about. My own mother did it. I finally stopped sharing things I thought they'd atta…

Thanks for sharing. I quickly learned peers found "big words" alienating. Like you, I process what I learn through conversation. I've found the best way to do it is reach out to an expert in the field or an academic. They are often quite happy to help someone learn about a topic that is important to them.

Re: Why People Dislike Really Smart Leaders

#9

Post by Isamu » Thu, Jan 18, 2018, 6:15 PM UTC

oblib wrote: post #5

When I was a kid my family would often chide me for using "big words" and told I was trying to "impress everyone" doing that. The truth is, I was just trying to relate something I'd learned and thought was interesting and every time that happened I was kind of shocked and left wondering how they'd missed the gist of what I was talking about. My own mother did it. I finally stopped sharing things I thought they'd atta…

> "Why are you always trying to impress everyone by using big words."

Yeah, I had similar experiences. I read a lot of books and absorbed their vocabulary, and sometimes it would slip out. I would just say what's on my mind, and that's what other people do, right?

Then I would get into trouble also by pausing to weigh my words, people read too much into your pause before answering them.

Or I just wouldn't say much, because it leads to trouble. Then people decide you are stuck up and aloof.

It took years to present a more normal facade. Plus just moving on to people that weren't so judgmental.

And anyway, over time I have come to prize simple speech, simple explanations. Especially if the concepts are complicated and heavy.

Re: Why People Dislike Really Smart Leaders

#10

Post by m104 » Thu, Jan 18, 2018, 6:17 PM UTC

oblib wrote: post #5

When I was a kid my family would often chide me for using "big words" and told I was trying to "impress everyone" doing that. The truth is, I was just trying to relate something I'd learned and thought was interesting and every time that happened I was kind of shocked and left wondering how they'd missed the gist of what I was talking about. My own mother did it. I finally stopped sharing things I thought they'd atta…

As the article points out, relatability is the key to bridging the gaps of knowledge and understanding between people. I think, at least in the USA, there is cultural pressure against "talking down to" others, at it indicates either that the speaker is an outsider or is attempting to set themselves apart intellectually from their peers.

> "I do know that over the years I've pointed out why something wouldn't work as planned and been told I was wrong and then later proved right. More than a few times it was an expensive lesson to be learned for those who ignored me. And pretty much every time I was hated for pointing it out."

The phrase "nobody knew" comes to mind, especially when used by person of authority to indicate why no preemptive action was taken before some accident/crime/disaster occurred. I mentally substitute one of the following phrases:

"significant barriers prevented the communication of obvious warning signs"

"fear of inconvenience and embarrassment prevented further consideration of the possibility"

"authorities were not able to be convinced in time"