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Ask HN: What influenced your personal growth the most?

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Re: Ask HN: What influenced your personal growth the most?

#71
post #47

Psychedelic mushrooms, specifically Psilocybe *. Losing that ego-based view of the world and realizing the interconnectedness of all things, and feeling that connection at the deepest levels of your psyche, does wonders for eliminating the adversarial individualism that I feel generates a lot of issues when enacted in all participants of society. Before, I had (and admittedly still have) some aspects of my self that,…

I don't advocate drugs in any form, but everyone should experience hallucinogens at some point in their life. It will change your life, for the better.

You don't advocate drugs, but everyone should take mushrooms?

That's advocating drugs!

Re: Ask HN: What influenced your personal growth the most?

#73
Rowing for 3 years and rowing coaching for 2 years after that.

Turned a skinny geek into a less skinny geek with a girlfriend.

The skill of rowing is very well suited to geeks.

The confidence I generated from rowing stayed with me, for decades now.

Doesn't mean I'm that confident, but pretty much all the confidence I do have comes from that intense period.

Re: Ask HN: What influenced your personal growth the most?

#76
Conversations with a very supportive close friend who was finishing school and starting the career that I wanted. That along with reading this site years ago.

After enough conversations I started to realize that I knew this stuff already, that my instincts were right and that I could make a career out of development. I had and sometimes continue to have pretty significant self-esteem issues that held/hold me back.

I was finally motivated out of earning a low wage and taking a big risk on switching careers. So after the first time taking risks and going after the hardest challenge I could find, I've repeated that process and it pays off every time.

I've doubled my income about three times since then, have grown up quite a bit and can finally say that I'm approaching a happy place in my life.

Re: Ask HN: What influenced your personal growth the most?

#77
post #58
post #30

Not 100% convinced about it, but I wanted to say: that I stopped smoking pot. Told myself well in advance that I'd quit 11 months in to my girlfriend's pregnancy (EDIT - obviously the residual effects are still there. I quit 8 months in to her pregnancy. This is what drugs do, kids.) Since then (now almost a year later) my ability to comprehend and concentrate on technical things has improved a lot. I've learn things…

I gotta disagree with you here. I smoke a little bit every day and I've gone through periods of a month or two without smoking and the only difference I found was that it was easier to get up in the morning if I didn't smoke the day before. My cognitive abilities don't seem to be impaired at all. It's possible that smoking pot for you was associated with other lifestyle affects (like sleep quality/duration) that were…

> My cognitive abilities don't seem to be impaired at all.

do you use some sort of external metrics to verify that?

using the same brain for smoking pot and determining that smoking pot causes no impairment isn't exactly a well-designed experiment.

Re: Ask HN: What influenced your personal growth the most?

#78

Reading. I used to tell myself that I loved to read, but I never read any books. It was a feel-good saying I told myself because everyone likes to think they love to read. The past few years, I started to actually read. I've fallen in love with reading. The world is more open, my critical analysis is stronger, and my school and engineering work has improved. Overall, I have a much happier disposition than before I re…

What types of books have you read that you've found helped the most with your critical faculties and such? This year I've finally got around to Infinite Jest. I don't know that I'm enjoying the book itself so much as I enjoy the mental exercise that I get from its reading, if any of that makes sense.

> What types of books have you read that you've found helped the most with your critical faculties and such?

In this area, I feel I've learned the most from reading commentary in the New Yorker.

For enjoyment, I've read:

* Stories of Your Life and Others by Chiang

* The Odyssey translated by Emily Wilson

* What The F by Bergen

* Blindsight by Watts

Re: Ask HN: What influenced your personal growth the most?

#79
Probably being accused of an incredible crime when I was a teenager.

Backstory: I'm nobodies favourite person. Especially in school; I was very poor, smelled like cigarrettes and quite awkward to be around in general, I don't blame anyone for any of the bullying but one thing affected me more than everything else. I don't want to go into detail about what rumour ended up burning my world down, but it was enough that the mere mention of it got me expelled and a police investigation was headed up against me.

Obviously, that investigation was fruitless as it was just rumours, however, it took nearly a year and I missed my GCSE exams (Without which you can't get a job essentially) by this point and there was no way another school would touch me.

Being accused like that, being treated like that, it broke me. I thought I was the lowest rung of society already, but how people acted after that rumour was spread, how even when I was proven innocent the police still had obvious disgust when looking at me. It taught me that no matter your circumstances it can be worse. People knew nothing of me but were glad to accept that I was a demon and they would not be dissuaded. It meant that preconceived notions are hard to sway and charisma and charm are the only currency that truly matter.

That arrest is still on my record and when I attempted to visit Canada recently it was flagged as a reason to deny me entry if I didn't submit proof that I was not convicted.

I am a different person today, being broken down like that meant I had to reassemble myself into a person I wanted to be. Being cast aside meant I lost my roots and could go anywhere (well, not Canada :P), learn anything, be anyone.

I invented myself out of that, to the person I would prefer to be.

Re: Ask HN: What influenced your personal growth the most?

#80

Burning out and quitting my job with no plan. Through word of mouth / networking I got a few consulting gigs and things snowballed and I've been doing that for 18 years. When dealing with short-term clients you learn how to swallow your ego and get things things. While I can guide/direct on the best approach or technology, the final decision isn't always mine, and I morph to the demands of the person signing my check…

This! Except without the burn out, and I'd move "sales" from last to first.

Looking back, being more involved in B2B sales (aka straight on the battle lines) has been absolutely instrumental for my growth.

There's this stereotype (true for me) that us techies need to get better at listening to people, spotting and reconciling conflicting interests, motives and objections. Finding common grounds. An increase in empathy, balanced by a scary loss of ego. Do words like "business value" and "process" sound like pointy-haired mumbo-jumbo? They did to me, a decade ago.

There's nothing like your livelihood on the line to give self-improvement a little urgency.

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