Earlier quoted context omitted.
Surprisingly well, from my own experience. It can even increase your productivity and dicrease distractions: it blocks most ads, suppresses annoying "interactive" features, bans participation in most time-wasting sites (eg. facebook) while still allowing browsing. And of course security. For the very few domains I deem absolutely necessary, I can always whitelist them.
It sounds like the problem is you're spending your time on adversarial websites. Give JS to a skillful developer who shares your goals, and they'll use it to make the website better.
How can a skillful JS developer make the site better for me when I want to avoid ANY extra features and distractions? My personal tastes tend to go not too far off this kind of design: http://bettermotherfuckingwebsite.com/
If this hypothetical developer is really sharing my goals then he'll use the tag, and I'll be happy enough with HTML/CSS.
For text-heavy sites, which are the ones I use the most, JS adds nothing I want: tracking? 3rd-party ads? lazy-loading? comments via disqus? sharing to social media? Thanks, but not for me.