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The day I accidentally killed a little boy

bbc.co.uk

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Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#41

Post by Pigo »

corpMaverick wrote: post #16
Pigo wrote: post #7

I can barely bring myself to read stories like this now. I never really thought about it before my son was born, but there's always this dread you live with in the back of your mind. This little helpless person has your life in it's hands. The world and fate is trying to take them out, and if they succeed you'd never recover. You can learn to live with pain, but I don't believe you ever get over something like that.

It is really scary to think about it. But don't focus on what you might loose. Just be grateful for what you have. Try to enjoy every moment you have with them.

I think I do. My boy is 6 now, so he's a little less vulnerable, and I've learned to see that anxiety for what it is. Honestly, I don't think it scares me as much anymore, but as soon as you read an article like this it can ruin my day.

But then maybe it's good to have a dose of it once in awhile, to keep me from getting to comfortable with his safety.

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#42

Post by mikemac »

CodeCube wrote: post #19
Pigo wrote: post #7

I can barely bring myself to read stories like this now. I never really thought about it before my son was born, but there's always this dread you live with in the back of your mind. This little helpless person has your life in it's hands. The world and fate is trying to take them out, and if they succeed you'd never recover. You can learn to live with pain, but I don't believe you ever get over something like that.

same ... I can't watch movies and tv shows (cop dramas and such) in which a child is victimized. When such an episode comes on, I just get really uncomfortable, and nope out to do something else.

Same here, wish there was a Netflix section for "movies where no children are harmed"

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#43

Post by ebikelaw »

weavie wrote: post #17
bitexploder wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is just back of the envelope math here, but I think it will cost the US a significant amount more dollars per fatality reduction. We have a huge number more cars and a very different culture and driving mindset. One relative small country with a pretty singular culture and a much, much smaller amount of roads is just going to have an easier time addressing the issue. It is still worth pursuing, but the scale of…

Could you expound on how the culture and mindset is different? I can imagine what it would be, but don't want to just jump to stereotypes..

You’re reading the cultural difference right now. The story is about a dead kid but we are invited mainly to sympathize with the perpetrator. We are also expected to take on faith the “he darted out of nowhere” narrative that is very common in fatal collisions where the victim is unable to testify. Finally, we are treated to a dose of the “it could have been any of us” windshield perspective that prevents the USA from having any kind of fairness or justice for traffic violence.

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#44

Post by bryanlarsen »

tedchs wrote: post #22
francisofascii wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Right. It is interesting to read the early history of the automobile in the U.S. Many of the pedestrian deaths in the early days were children. Speed governor laws were proposed but ultimately rejected. Motordom won the day. Now it is built into our society that people have to be super vigilant whenever we walk outside. Kids have to always be careful and limited to where they can play. It is sad how much of our freed…

Well, people had to be careful before the automobile too, you know. People could by killed by horses or wagons. The introduction of the automobile didn't make it suddenly unsafe to be in the street.

A collision with a horse and wagon might break your leg, but it's highly unlikely to kill you. That's one of the main points of "Vision Zero" that I linked. Any collision at speeds less than 20mph has a very low fatality risk.

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#45

Post by corpMaverick »

dudul wrote: post #25

"The lead officer came and told me that they were not arresting me - there was no indication that I was negligent or distracted or impaired in any way - but he gave me a little lecture saying, "This child died, that's a terrible thing, you need to make sure that you never do this again."" Was I the only one shocked by this? I mean, a little kid died and she's not arrested at least to conduct an investigation? How did…

Clearly who was mainly worried about her mental health knowing how hard it can be.

> you need to make sure that you never do this again

Just a stupid sentence that came out not knowing what to say.

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#46

Post by erik_landerholm »

thriftwy wrote: post #35
erik_landerholm wrote: post #30

I have 4 boys under the age of 12. I would say I think about one of them dying (accident, sickness, murder...so many ways it can happen...) multiple times a day. I know that sounds morbid, and it probably is, but my brain does it on its own...not a lot of control over it. Nothing on earth scares me more than the idea of having to go on living without one of them. Having 4 increases my odds that I might have to. It te…

On the other hand, having more of them decreases your odds that you will face losing all of them. Imagine how parents live who had just one child, who died.

Dude...not how it works. Read the story. They had two...totally ruined their lives. You can argue they didn’t “handle it well” (blaming her when it was an obvious accident, not moving on together, leaving the room, etc), but the point is every child you have feels like your only child in many ways.

I’m going to have to disagree with you here.

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#47

Post by peatmoss »

bryanlarsen wrote: post #6
oneeyedpigeon wrote: post #3

You have to feel terribly sad for everyone involved here. The only place the blame can rest is humanity's desire to mix very fast, solid vehicles with very slow, squishy pedestrians in the same spaces. We're way too far down that rabbit-hole to address it, but hopefully self-driving cars (and less polluting cars, too) will start to reverse the damage done by the automobile, in the not-too distant future.

"We're way too far down that rabbit-hole to address it" That's BS. Sweden has essentially zero pedestrian fatalities annually, and its overall traffic fatality rate is well under a quarter that of the US. There are two main components: reducing speed limits and spending money on infrastructure. Both of these are anathema in the US, but the refusal to do so is borderline criminal, IMO. http://www.visionzeroinitiative.…

Reducing speed limits and designing roadways to discourage high speeds.

But yeah, I like to measure annual traffic fatalities in 9/11s. Here in the US, we typically do >10 of them per year. We toppled the governments of two countries, created a whole new department of our federal government, and continue to advance prosthetics at a breakneck pace to fix the men and women we send to be disfigured overseas as a response to just one single 9/11.

It’s a question of political will. We’ve become comfortable with the level of death, dismemberment, and disfigurement associated with transportation as we’ve built it in this country.

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#48

Post by 24gttghh »

jackhack wrote: post #4

Well written - it shares a glimpse of the grief of an accidental death and the impact on two families. This is but a small glimpse of what many soldiers suffer ('shellshock') after being required to deliberately kill. A good reminder to have compassion for those around us. Everyone carries burdens. Some much greater than ours.

'shell-shock' is literally the aftereffects of a concussive blast rattling your brain around in your skull; itself is usually diagnosed under the broader umbrella of PTSD, which one might also end up with after having to kill another person.

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#49

Post by qaq »

mikemac wrote: post #42
CodeCube wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

same ... I can't watch movies and tv shows (cop dramas and such) in which a child is victimized. When such an episode comes on, I just get really uncomfortable, and nope out to do something else.

Same here, wish there was a Netflix section for "movies where no children are harmed"

Same and this is a really good idea

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#50

Post by Xeoncross »

Such a sad story.

> "The voice said in this very biblical, Old Testament, angry way"

Is this what people consider "biblical"? An angry person? I've spent years reading the Pentateuch, writings, and new testament and I don't see this voice (I assume she means "God") as angry at all.

Quite the opposite actually, as the narrative is [to the Jews] about God restoring them despite their rebellion and sin and [to the Christians] about God giving us his son despite our hatred and sin.

> "Then about 10 years ago I went to Israel on a trip. I'm Jewish and I went with my rabbi and other people from the temple that I belonged to. While I was there I took a Hebrew name, Bracha, which means blessing."

I assume this "voice" was the guilt that plagued her creeping into anything that mattered. It's sad the torment that we can inflict onto our own minds. It sounds like she was able to overcome it.

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