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Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

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Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#251

Post by nofilter »

Umm, 25 here. All my friends are in the same age-group (21-29) and every other weekend we party like crazy. Sure, it's no longer the drink-until-you-puke type of party that we had when we were 18 (yes, in Europe you don't need be 21 to buy alcohol, 18 will suffice). It might be due to the fact that I also live in Barcelona, which is known for its parties.

As far as how I was raised - umm, mom gave me a beer to try when I was 16, I spit it out because it tasted awfully (I to this day don't drink beer, do not understand the appeal), but when I got 18 I bought some cuba libre and realized that not all alcohol tastes bad. I've never had exactly strict parenting, more-so "learn through your own mistakes" with guidance provided by my parents. I think I turned out alright.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#252

Post by magic_beans »

losteverything wrote: post #143
bastijn wrote: post #136

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Offtopic: are we now so gender neutral we even cannot address our own kid as he or she? Or did you do this on purpose to hide the gender of your kid as part of your privacy? No flame intended. Honest question. Never thought about the gender of my kids being a privacy thing. Ontopic: As a parent I (we) try not to restrain things like screen use. Instead we actively promote all other forms of spending time we prefer mo…

Hide gender

Why not just use the opposite gender of your child? Or imply this child is one of several, given that you only have one?

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#253

Post by carapace »

alexanat wrote: post #166
sametmax wrote: post #132

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is a (painful, annoying and unfair) way around this. Actively socialize a lot with people in your neighborhood. Including the old lady next door, local cops, teachers and shop owners. And once you know 50 persons around by name and they have your phone number, tell them one by one that you intend to let your child going out more and more out by him/herself to learn autonomy. Ask them to not worry, but to keep a…

This is a wonderful idea. You mention Facebook - I think FB could be leveraged here as well.. perhaps a neighborhood group.

This is describing normal life before, say, seventy years ago.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#254

Post by yayadarsh »

joaomacp wrote: post #203
ktta wrote: post #163

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm 20 and I have my experience to share too. My parents didn't really limit me going out. In fact, they encouraged it. But I found the internet to be way more fascinating compared to my friends. I did have friends and a 'normal' life, but I was an introvert by any measure. I had people to hang out with at school and places to hang out with friends after, but I never wanted to go out and goof off. I want to say it is…

22 here. I agree with everything except the ads part. Me and my friends are so used to identifying and quickly ignoring ads from a young age, that they have become largely uneffective on us. Comparatively my not-so-techie friends and family, that haven't grown up so used to ads, tend to be more influenced by them and purchase more stuff (my dad clicks facebook ads more regularly than me and my friends).

This is a common misconception. Advertising does not need to be hidden to "work". Advertising is not just facebook ads (which you admit to clicking, although not as regularly as your dad), but also involves creating positive sentiment for a brand or product over time through techniques like mere exposure.

I Wwnt to preface that I do understand where you are coming from, and spent many years agreeing with the sentiment that you pose, but over time came to realize that I was mistaken and had an oversimplified view of what makes the advertising industry tick.

In the interest of discussion: do you think that most people are too lazy/ignorant to ignore ads like you and your friends do?

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#255

Post by astura »

joaomacp wrote: post #203
ktta wrote: post #163

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm 20 and I have my experience to share too. My parents didn't really limit me going out. In fact, they encouraged it. But I found the internet to be way more fascinating compared to my friends. I did have friends and a 'normal' life, but I was an introvert by any measure. I had people to hang out with at school and places to hang out with friends after, but I never wanted to go out and goof off. I want to say it is…

22 here. I agree with everything except the ads part. Me and my friends are so used to identifying and quickly ignoring ads from a young age, that they have become largely uneffective on us. Comparatively my not-so-techie friends and family, that haven't grown up so used to ads, tend to be more influenced by them and purchase more stuff (my dad clicks facebook ads more regularly than me and my friends).

Limiting exposure to ads is mainly advice for young children as they lack the cognitive ability to understand the intent of advertising until, IIRC, around the age of 7 or 8.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#256

Post by otakucode »

losteverything wrote: post #113
ashark wrote: post #105

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, I get that, but there's screwed up and there's screwed up , ya know? Sure you can be in the top 50% of parents by just not actively trying to screw them up, but I'd like to do better than that, within reason, and tech/screens/Web seem to me like pretty big things worthy of a little attention and care, especially as they get older. Finding something like a least-harm/most-benefit way to fit that into our home li…

My kid tells us we did her/him a big disservice by just who were were: an in love couple with a good marriage. She/he tells us ahe/he was so unprepared for relationships and the knowledge that others' sid not come from our style home (happy marriage filled with love, imo) Now how does one predict that??? Introduce my kids to broken marriages?

Teach them about the monumental complexity and difficulty (but ultimately rewarding nature) of human relationships. Also, why didn't they have enough direct experience with the home lives of their friends to be familiar with marriages that didn't work out? Why had they never spoken with an adult whose marriage failed and been able to ask what happened and why?

We do not seek to teach our children how to form or maintain human relationships, much less intimate relationships. As a result, they do not spontaneously learn these things, especially in a society that isolates young people to an increasingly radical degree from their community, their peers, and society in general.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#257

Post by [deleted] »

nofilter wrote: post #251

Umm, 25 here. All my friends are in the same age-group (21-29) and every other weekend we party like crazy. Sure, it's no longer the drink-until-you-puke type of party that we had when we were 18 (yes, in Europe you don't need be 21 to buy alcohol, 18 will suffice). It might be due to the fact that I also live in Barcelona, which is known for its parties. As far as how I was raised - umm, mom gave me a beer to try wh…

[deleted]

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#258

Post by magic_beans »

aaroninsf wrote: post #115
ashark wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If your parents had eliminated screens when you were very young (including theirs) save maybe one publicly-placed crappy terminal for wikipedia or looking up business hours or maps or learning you some programming or whatever, but loosened the reigns on hang-outs and travel, do you think you'd have still felt isolated because all your friends were still online most of the time? Asking as a parent with three young kid…

Kids approaching 7 and 10 watch some movies/vetted series online, only recently got Kindle tablets which they are literally only allowed to use on long (3 hr+) transits, never at home. No TV or analog in house. I am now torn as the older kid is at a prime age to introduce programming... ...but the benefits we see daily from no-screen childhood are to our biased eyes overwhelming. Our kids spend all their free time en…

You don't even let your kids read a Kindle!?

Also: not every child is going to end up a programmer.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#259

Post by vim_wannabe »

cirath wrote: post #174
thraweigh666 wrote: post #167

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Surely you knew multiculturalism would destroy your high-trust homogeneous society. If not, the lesson is now very clear. It's not too late. We can go back.

Woah now, let's not make any wild leaps here. The Roman Empire was fantastically multicultural at its high points and its low. The United States has never been homogeneous, no matter where in its history you find yourself -- the low or the high points. In fact, I (and many others) would argue that a lot of the meteoric rise of the United States occurred on the backs of labor that did not match the current ideals of t…

The Roman empire contained a lot of geographically segregated cultures. There was definitely a lot of influence on each other over time but 'when in Rome' didn't come out of nowhere.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#260

Post by e40 »

westmeal wrote: post #9

I know, I know this is anecdotal 'evidence'. I happen to be 21 which fits me right in this generation and the main reason this occurs is due to parenting. My parents wouldn't let me go _anywhere_ by myself until I was at least 17. By that time I was completely and utterly addicted to computing to just let go and 'hang out'. As a matter in fact most of my friends are online rather than 4 real friends in real life. It…

My son is 17 now, and for years I begged him to go hang out with friends. Didn't want to. He wanted to "meet" them online in games every Fri/Sat night (the nights he was allowed to play video games).

I thought about cutting off the video games, but it was his only form of socialization, so I was really hesitant to try that experiment.

I have had dozens of conversations with him, over the years, about the possible negative side effects of not meeting people in person (for later in life, when patterns solidify).

Now, he does go to parties with his online friends a few times a year. There are usually 8-10 of them there and they have pizza and watch movies. Usually is a bday party (but he never wants to do this for his bday).

I've given up trying to influence him (given his age). He is very mature in most ways. I'm just worried about the future.

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