Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore • Hacker News Board

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#151

Post by kodt » Wed, Jan 03, 2018, 6:29 PM UTC

dawhizkid wrote: post #22

I wonder why the "young adult nightlife experience" feels so stagnant. I like going to the occasional upscale cocktail bar, but in general spending Friday or Saturday night in a crowded bar or club is not my idea of a fun thing to do. What is the alternative for more introverted people? Stay home? I went to Copenhagen recently and on a Friday night came across a big coffee/beer+wine place with lots of tables/sofas th…

There are places in the US that offer that type of experience, as well as several other alternatives to crowded noisy bars. Although it could be location dependent on what your options are.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#152

Post by bastijn » Wed, Jan 03, 2018, 6:31 PM UTC

losteverything wrote: post #143

bastijn wrote: post #136

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Offtopic: are we now so gender neutral we even cannot address our own kid as he or she? Or did you do this on purpose to hide the gender of your kid as part of your privacy? No flame intended. Honest question. Never thought about the gender of my kids being a privacy thing. Ontopic: As a parent I (we) try not to restrain things like screen use. Instead we actively promote all other forms of spending time we prefer mo…

Hide gender

Thanks for clarfying. What, if you don’t mind me asking, makes you feel their gender in this context is worth censuring?

You made me think about it and it is quite interesting. From reading your post I was surprised. Thinking about it makes it interesting. I work in the Healthcare sector and gender definitly is part of privacy information (as is age for that matter). However, I would have not thought about it twice sharing it here. Now I’m in between.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#153

Post by bsder » Wed, Jan 03, 2018, 6:34 PM UTC

appleiigs wrote: post #133

hrktb wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think it’s not just that. For instance 20 years ago there was public phone booths everywhere. A kid would just need a few coins and the house number to do a call, now you’d need a cell phone, and giving one to a 5~8 year kid is still not practical. Or I remember shopping at local shops enough to know their faces and names, or ask shop owner if the other kids where nearby. I don’t think my kid knows anyone other tha…

> TL;DR: A lot of stuff changed in the last decades, we can’t just blindly do the same as before. When I was kid, I would get on my bike and wander too far. One time I was out and a thunderstorm came along. A nice lady invited me into her house to call home. Fast forward to university, a professor objected to me closing his office door with just the 2 of us in there (we're both male and I'm 6ft 200lbs). A colleague o…

> The change in trust levels has changed pretty swiftly.

I'm of two minds about this.

1) This is a bad thing in that we don't give respect to authority that it really deserves. And that's quite often a bad thing--especially when related to children and teaching. Sorry to break it to you, Mommy, but your little angel is actually a spoiled, shitty little brat and, no, his opinions don't count.

2) This is a good thing in that people in positions of authority who abuse their power over others are not uncommon. Having greater scrutiny helps cut down on these situations. Apparently most women have dealt with a couple of these people as teachers throughout high school and college.

I really don't know how to reconcile these two.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#154

Post by Symbiote » Wed, Jan 03, 2018, 6:34 PM UTC

hrktb wrote: post #66

dragonwriter wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is definitely true, and driven in part by media-driven hysteria that has led to the decades of the perception that child abduction and similar child targeting crimes are on the rise, while the reverse has been the case.

I think it’s not just that. For instance 20 years ago there was public phone booths everywhere. A kid would just need a few coins and the house number to do a call, now you’d need a cell phone, and giving one to a 5~8 year kid is still not practical. Or I remember shopping at local shops enough to know their faces and names, or ask shop owner if the other kids where nearby. I don’t think my kid knows anyone other tha…

There are still shops everywhere, who will let a child use a phone.

Or teach the child to approach a stranger; a random stranger is very unlikely to be a threat. (A less random one even better: a woman with young children.)

Not trusting the police for problems a child is likely to encounter seems paranoid.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#155

Post by at-fates-hands » Wed, Jan 03, 2018, 6:35 PM UTC

I was on the millennial bubble (1999) and I was a total jock in HS. I was so fearful of getting kicked off my teams, I never partied or drank beer, I was a total straight edge.

Fast forward into college and at the beginning of my Freshman year I still wasn't partying because I didn't want to flunk out of college. I was so into my classes and doing well, I just didn't have time. By the middle of Freshman year, my soccer teammates basically kidnapped me and took me to my first real party where I drank, got loaded and flirted with all the girls. It was really an eye opening experience for me to learn how to be in social situations with members of the opposite sex, as well as socialize with other students my age.

With less and less people of the current generation skipping college, I can easily see a huge reduction in partying and drinking overall. Add in the financial burden of being on your own and how much decent beer or alcohol costs and it just becomes out of reach due to financial circumstances.

Not surprised at all by the conclusions in the article.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#156

Post by cirath » Wed, Jan 03, 2018, 6:35 PM UTC

cutler wrote: post #87

Society is sick, let's face it, and technology is largely to blame. We just can't see the danger in technology so long as we're blinded by everything shiny. Human beings are primarily social beings and no, that does not mean peering at each other through the alienating window of a mobile phone screen. In 1969, at the age of 9, I could be left to play with my friends and wander several miles from home without any sens…

> The ageing mill towns of East Lancashire, UK, still enjoyed a culture of trust and respect for your neighbours such that you could leave your front door open without fear of theft.

That is a strange line to include there, as I am not sure how people staying inside and having very little social life would erode public trust in the idea that your house won't be robbed while you're away. There are hundreds of factors that play into the changing landscape of trust, but I know my small town parents still have no real concern leaving the door unlocked in their small town of ~1000 or so people.

Personally, I'd say the trust issue has to do with the fact that the world population has almost perfectly doubled since 1969, and humanity's short history has not prepared us for the population explosion that has occurred over the last 150 years. We live closer together than ever before -- but cities have never really been safe, and serial killing predates electricity (oddly) without even getting near to modern technology or us collectively being "blinded by everything shiny".

The issue with our population now is that our cities are larger, there are fewer small towns and rural areas, hence the erosion of trust.

I think Dunbar's Number (colloquially the Monkeysphere) kind of covers why we aren't handling the explosion of social circles well. But that can't be blamed completely on technology.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#157

Post by Xeoncross » Wed, Jan 03, 2018, 6:36 PM UTC

losteverything wrote: post #113

ashark wrote: post #105

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, I get that, but there's screwed up and there's screwed up , ya know? Sure you can be in the top 50% of parents by just not actively trying to screw them up, but I'd like to do better than that, within reason, and tech/screens/Web seem to me like pretty big things worthy of a little attention and care, especially as they get older. Finding something like a least-harm/most-benefit way to fit that into our home li…

My kid tells us we did her/him a big disservice by just who were were: an in love couple with a good marriage. She/he tells us ahe/he was so unprepared for relationships and the knowledge that others' sid not come from our style home (happy marriage filled with love, imo) Now how does one predict that??? Introduce my kids to broken marriages?

> My kid tells us we did her/him a big disservice by just who were were: an in love couple with a good marriage.

This is just their perception and proposed solution. Ruining your marriage so they will be comfortable in a bad relationship is crazy.

Parents often fail to teach their kids how they got to this point. I have made a point to make sure I don't just take for granted my kids know everything I know.

What to look for? What not to look for? Where does this action come from? Why do I get a funny feeling about this person? What fear causes this anger response. The fact that everyone is nice at some point. On and on the list goes...

Right and wrong, life, is either taught... or learned the hard way.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#158

Post by AlecSchueler » Wed, Jan 03, 2018, 6:38 PM UTC

mrfusion wrote: post #127

snowwindwaves wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My parents are baby boomers and they said there were just kids everywhere when they grew up. Every house on the street had at least two. Kids went outside to play. Parents had real perspective on the dangers and risks in life after living through ww2 and a kid falling out of a tree was not a concern.

Makes me wonder how much of helicopter parenting is caused by emergency rooms becoming probibitevly expensive?

It's the same all over the West, right? But emergency rooms are free in much of it as well.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#159

Post by losteverything » Wed, Jan 03, 2018, 6:39 PM UTC

ashark wrote: post #105

losteverything wrote: post #93

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You will screw up your kids just like your parents screwed you up.... You just don't know how yet. But it isn't really screwed up... It is called parenting. Then when u become a grandparent it begins to totally make sense....we all screw up our kids...teaching thwm how to recover is the real deal

Yeah, I get that, but there's screwed up and there's screwed up , ya know? Sure you can be in the top 50% of parents by just not actively trying to screw them up, but I'd like to do better than that, within reason, and tech/screens/Web seem to me like pretty big things worthy of a little attention and care, especially as they get older. Finding something like a least-harm/most-benefit way to fit that into our home li…

We used to think it was awful my kid stayed up late and watched Johnny Carson as a very young kid. Too much tv?? HORRORS! ( now her/his family doesn't even own a tv)

Go with the flow.. Man... Your kid will surprise you

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#160

Post by this_user » Wed, Jan 03, 2018, 6:40 PM UTC

losteverything wrote: post #93

ashark wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If your parents had eliminated screens when you were very young (including theirs) save maybe one publicly-placed crappy terminal for wikipedia or looking up business hours or maps or learning you some programming or whatever, but loosened the reigns on hang-outs and travel, do you think you'd have still felt isolated because all your friends were still online most of the time? Asking as a parent with three young kid…

You will screw up your kids just like your parents screwed you up.... You just don't know how yet. But it isn't really screwed up... It is called parenting. Then when u become a grandparent it begins to totally make sense....we all screw up our kids...teaching thwm how to recover is the real deal

That's an extremely fatalistic attitude, and I don't think it is true either. The problem with most parents is that they don't take the time to see the bigger picture, to reflect on their methods and to evaluate their results. Instead, it's mostly a series of ad hoc decisions that are more often than not driven by their own worst impulses. In fact, this is the same way many people handle their own lives, too.

Raising a child should be a seen as sort of project. You need to figure out what they need to learn while they grow, and then you need to figure out ways of teaching it to them. Of course, you will probably have to adjust your plan along the way, and you yourself will have to learn how to do this properly. But if you view things from the end, it is easy to see why "helicopter" parenting is harmful and will likely result adults who are incapable of managing their own lives once the time comes