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Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

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Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#101

Post by workthrowaway27 »

dragonwriter wrote: post #91
cutler wrote: post #87

Society is sick, let's face it, and technology is largely to blame. We just can't see the danger in technology so long as we're blinded by everything shiny. Human beings are primarily social beings and no, that does not mean peering at each other through the alienating window of a mobile phone screen. In 1969, at the age of 9, I could be left to play with my friends and wander several miles from home without any sens…

> Society is sick, let's face it, and technology is largely to blame. Technology is never to blame for anything, because technology is not a moral actor; people may be to blame for the manner in which they use technology. OTOH, people have been falsely conflating “the youth of today seem to have a different lifestyle than I preferred in my youth” with “society is sick” for at least as long as we have historical evide…

There's lots of evidence that people in their early 20s and under are psychologically different than older people (higher rates of anxiety/depression at the same age, etc.). Anecdotally, I've noticed that people don't talk to strangers as much on planes anymore as when I was a child.

I guess you could argue that technology isn't to blame, but technology changes people. And it's hard not to use technology when it's so pervasive. At work I have a hard time not eating donuts when someone brings them in. Technology is similar. If everyone around you is on their phone or facebook or whatever it takes a lot of willpower/willingness to be different to not do the same.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#102

Post by watwut »

Nostalgia for parties that "wretched parents house" says more about older people and their lack of empathy then something bad about youngsters.

Am I only one who did not grew with cell phones and still did not wretched anybodies house? I would not invite kids likely to wretch our house home.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#103

Post by AmVess »

glitcher wrote: post #34
westmeal wrote: post #9

I know, I know this is anecdotal 'evidence'. I happen to be 21 which fits me right in this generation and the main reason this occurs is due to parenting. My parents wouldn't let me go _anywhere_ by myself until I was at least 17. By that time I was completely and utterly addicted to computing to just let go and 'hang out'. As a matter in fact most of my friends are online rather than 4 real friends in real life. It…

I tend to agree with you. Although I also don't have any hard evidence, it seems to me that growing up in the 80's, there was far less parental supervision of kids then there is now. In the summertime during school break, even as early as elementary school probably 3rd grade, we would take off on our bikes and roam without any supervision. As long as we were home by sundown we wouldn't be in any trouble.

My parents let me walk to the corner store alone when I was 5. By the time I was 8, I'd be gone all day doing who knows what; the big rule was to be home for dinner.

Allowing your kids to roam around like that these days will get CPS called on you.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#104

Post by geodel »

neverminder wrote: post #39
the-dude wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Here you have a 'counterdote' : I am 43. After the first year of high school ( I was 13 ), we were allowed to travel to the other side of the country by train, sleep in a youth hostel and return at the end of the next day. This is NL, the other side of the country is only 350km. When we tell younger friends, they refuse to believe.

Well, I was walking to school 3 km (2 miles) one way alone since I was 6 years old (Europe). Pretty sure today my parents would be thrown in jail or something for "child neglect" (or whatever the latest PC buzzword for that is). Times are changing, but I don't think it's for the better.

Right, I guess underlying theme is to delay dealing with real world as much as possible. It seems to be happening everywhere.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#105

Post by ashark »

losteverything wrote: post #93
ashark wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If your parents had eliminated screens when you were very young (including theirs) save maybe one publicly-placed crappy terminal for wikipedia or looking up business hours or maps or learning you some programming or whatever, but loosened the reigns on hang-outs and travel, do you think you'd have still felt isolated because all your friends were still online most of the time? Asking as a parent with three young kid…

You will screw up your kids just like your parents screwed you up.... You just don't know how yet. But it isn't really screwed up... It is called parenting. Then when u become a grandparent it begins to totally make sense....we all screw up our kids...teaching thwm how to recover is the real deal

Yeah, I get that, but there's screwed up and there's screwed up, ya know? Sure you can be in the top 50% of parents by just not actively trying to screw them up, but I'd like to do better than that, within reason, and tech/screens/Web seem to me like pretty big things worthy of a little attention and care, especially as they get older. Finding something like a least-harm/most-benefit way to fit that into our home lives is probably worth spending some thought on.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#106

Post by 13of40 »

pavel_lishin wrote: post #53
the-dude wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Here you have a 'counterdote' : I am 43. After the first year of high school ( I was 13 ), we were allowed to travel to the other side of the country by train, sleep in a youth hostel and return at the end of the next day. This is NL, the other side of the country is only 350km. When we tell younger friends, they refuse to believe.

America is a wholly different place. I was born in the mid-80s in Moscow, Russia, and moved to America when I was ten. Before I moved, I was regularly taking the subway, with transfers, to school - by myself. Here in America, I had a coworker a few years ago who literally would not let his double-digit-aged children cross the street to school by themselves. It's a weird fuckin' place.

I'm an American. At the age of 13 my dad bought me a motorcycle that I used to ride around in the desert while he was at work. By 16 I was basically living alone. My kid, on the other hand, is 13 right now, and while he can code some pretty mean Minecraft mods, he doesn't even know how to do the dishes or get to school on his own. (Coincidentally, his mother is from Moscow, Russia and used to regularly take the subway to school...) I think maybe it has to do with the suburban sprawl we live in now -- it's populated enough that you can't wander in the forest, etc., but it's a mile hike to the nearest library or store. Why do that bullshit when you have fiber?

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#107

Post by athenot »

dcow wrote: post #47

While I'm slightly too old to have experienced what the article is describing, the trend is there and I believe technology plays an undenyable role (followed by parenting). I have many siblings but notably a brother who's in his first year high school. I also just attended a wedding and got to meet the high school brother of the groom. I was talking to my brother on NYE. He was lamenting that he could not find anyone…

> unless they deliberately exploit addicting behaviors to increase engagement and retention

I can assure that this is something on the forefront of any consumer-oriented service. This stuff is tracked, tweaked, reported on, KPIs are built around it and used as important ways of measuring the health of the company.

See Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products[1] which describes some of this process.

> Do we embrace technology or shun it? My main fear isn't necessarily the tech itself, but the dependence on it. I fear the iGen isn't learning how to use computers as tools and simply becoming consumers of all the experiences we create with them.

YES. I'm in the same boat as you and I think the key difference is that while we created things and explored the tech world much like a giant box of LEGOs, now it's all about giving into the latest ready-made shiny expericence that is heavily marketed to us. But I don't think it has to be so. I remain hopeful that we can train our kids to only use tech on the condition that something useful or truly creative arises out of it, not just passively consuming what's offered. Yet I realize this is going to be an uphill battle...

[1] https://www.nirandfar.com/hooked

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#109

Post by soperj »

Analemma_ wrote: post #94
ashark wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If your parents had eliminated screens when you were very young (including theirs) save maybe one publicly-placed crappy terminal for wikipedia or looking up business hours or maps or learning you some programming or whatever, but loosened the reigns on hang-outs and travel, do you think you'd have still felt isolated because all your friends were still online most of the time? Asking as a parent with three young kid…

Keep in mind that if the OP is 21, then "when s/he was very young" would've been circa 2000. That was before smartphones or even Wi-Fi, where you pretty much had to be seated at a desk to use a computer, which is very different from the situation now. This is an epidemic that snuck up on us.

We had a laptop with windows 95 on it. Just because you weren't on the internet, didn't mean you couldn't use a computer...there were actually lots of things that you would do without a connection then.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#110

Post by humanrebar »

Eric_WVGG wrote: post #76
westmeal wrote: post #9

I know, I know this is anecdotal 'evidence'. I happen to be 21 which fits me right in this generation and the main reason this occurs is due to parenting. My parents wouldn't let me go _anywhere_ by myself until I was at least 17. By that time I was completely and utterly addicted to computing to just let go and 'hang out'. As a matter in fact most of my friends are online rather than 4 real friends in real life. It…

I’m reminded of the under-25-set reacting to the Stranger Things children just sort of running around unsupervised as “unrealistic.” Nope, that was how we rolled.

> that was how we rolled

Speaking of rolling, that's what bikes were for. Running around unsupervised in the neighborhood. I'm not sure what kids do with bikes today. Or if they even get bikes.

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