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Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

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Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#181
post #48

What's up with all these sensational articles about Silicon Valley? Maybe the lifestyle is different as a VC, but as an engineer, this seems so disjointed from reality that it's almost farcical. I can barely get some of my coworkers to stop talking about code for more than a breath. There's no way that they're engaging in any of these activities. Can anyone vouch for this behavior being prevalent? To me it just seems…

Media. New York media. My impression is they’re projecting insecurity as they feel their grip on the American psyche ( propaganda ) slipping.

Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#182

“I see a lot of men leading people on, sleeping with a dozen women at the same time. But if each of the dozen women doesn’t care, is there any crime committed? You could say it’s disgusting but not illegal—it just perpetuates a culture that keeps women down.” How does it keep women down? Sleeping with a guy is a built in option women have to better their lives, that men don't have. Otherwise they're just like the res…

"Sleeping with a guy is a built in option women have to better their lives, that men don't have." This is a complicated issue, and there's a lot to unpack here. That technique may be used for women (and, heck, men too -- I'm the female 'breadwinner' of my household, although I didn't meet my husband at a sex party...) to better their lives, but those gains may be sporadic, and they depend on the continued cooperation…

I like this answer even if i strongly disagree with it. Hopefully we can engage in a polite discussion where i can contribute the male centric counter-part of your perspective.

>That technique may be used for women (and, heck, men too -- I'm the female 'breadwinner' of my household, although I didn't meet my husband at a sex party...)

Yes some men, but those case are very rare and fare in between. I don't have any better analogy than saying that's like talking about female on male rape or white people being also subject to police violence when talking about black life matters.

> to better their lives, but those gains may be sporadic, and they depend on the continued cooperation of the man they're sleeping with.

But isn't that true for 99% of the working population ? My salary depend on my continue cooperation of my company i am working for.

> Having a job, skills are easily transferable between employers, resources in my own name, and a relationship built on mutual respect and kindness, gives me far more freedom and security than sleeping with guys for the lifestyle perks.

Is this true for any jobs ? Or are you describing the reality for you (what i presume being a conventionally beautiful ,upper middle class American woman)?

Is that true for any man ? or just the one you dated ?

> Now, I'm not saying women shouldn't go to these parties or sleep with these men if they want to, or that considering a man's private jet ownership when debating about whether or not you want to sleep with him is an immoral choice.

Yes, but you are implying that having those choices is not a intrinsic privilege mostly associated with being a (conventionally beautiful) woman and that pointing this privilege is something of a simplification. I am born with a relatively high intelligence. It's also usually comes with high propensity to anxiety and depression and social awkwardness and as such my intelligence doesnt by me everything in life, but all in all it's still a nice privilege to have in 2017. I see female beauty the same.

If had to point an overarching theme on you answer, is that you seems to compare the "gains" from the sexual options of being a woman with those of very power man. We can agree on this (although there is something to be said on comparing a man in his late 35 and the fruit of his labor with the life style of a 20-something, but that a discussion for another time). I don't think that's the fair comparison.

What we need to look at : while you were being a "trophy girlfriend" , how did you life compare to you less desirable friends, and to your male friends around you? Beauty, like intelligence or any other intrinsic quality is an asset; It can be used wisely or not, it can be very valuable or not, but it's still an asset...

> the two choices sound like equivalent things, when they're absolutely not.

Which two choices ?

> On a side note: The presence of these particular sex parties, and the fact that they're so closely intertwined with business in Silicon Valley, I think is an problem. As the article paints it, there's sort of a "damned if you do and damned if you don't" issue that they're introducing for women working in certain companies or who are seeking VC funding.

I guess i can try to share the male perspective on this. It seems that there is wide belief that male sexuality is by nature predatory. Might be some truth to that and the news these days don't really help. But from anecdotal experience, and for having been to those type of parties. Trying to coerce women into coming to those type of party is always plan B. Plan A is always to find open minded women with common interest. And much in the same way that height and muscular bodies are attractive to certain women, money,weath and power is attractive to enough women that plan A i usually all one needs...

Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#184
I like this answer even if i strongly disagree with it. Hopefully we can engage in a polite discussion where i can contribute the male centric counter-part of your perspective.

>That technique may be used for women (and, heck, men too -- I'm the female 'breadwinner' of my household, although I didn't meet my husband at a sex party...)

Yes some men, but those case are very rare and fare in between. I don't have any better analogy than saying that's like talking about female on male rape or white people being also subject to police violence when talking about black life matters.

> to better their lives, but those gains may be sporadic, and they depend on the continued cooperation of the man they're sleeping with.

But isn't that true for 99% of the working population ? My salary depend on my continue cooperation of my company i am working for.

> Having a job, skills are easily transferable between employers, resources in my own name, and a relationship built on mutual respect and kindness, gives me far more freedom and security than sleeping with guys for the lifestyle perks.

Is this true for any jobs ? Or are you describing the reality for you (what i presume being a conventionally beautiful ,upper middle class American woman)?

Is that true for any man ? or just the one you dated ?

> Now, I'm not saying women shouldn't go to these parties or sleep with these men if they want to, or that considering a man's private jet ownership when debating about whether or not you want to sleep with him is an immoral choice.

Yes, but you are implying that having those choices is not a intrinsic privilege mostly associated with being a (conventionally beautiful) woman and that pointing this privilege is something of a simplification. I am born with a relatively high intelligence. It's also usually comes with high propensity to anxiety and depression and social awkwardness and as such my intelligence doesnt by me everything in life, but all in all it's still a nice privilege to have in 2017. I see female beauty the same.

If had to point an overarching theme on you answer, is that you seems to compare the "gains" from the sexual options of being a woman with those of very power man. We can agree on this (although there is something to be said on comparing a man in his late 35 and the fruit of his labor with the life style of a 20-something, but that a discussion for another time). I don't think that's the fair comparison.

What we need to look at : while you were being a "trophy girlfriend" , how did you life compare to you less desirable friends, and to your male friends around you? Beauty, like intelligence or any other intrinsic quality is an asset; It can be used wisely or not, it can be very valuable or not, but it's still an asset...

> the two choices sound like equivalent things, when they're absolutely not.

Which two choices ?

> On a side note: The presence of these particular sex parties, and the fact that they're so closely intertwined with business in Silicon Valley, I think is an problem. As the article paints it, there's sort of a "damned if you do and damned if you don't" issue that they're introducing for women working in certain companies or who are seeking VC funding.

I guess i can try to share the male perspective on this. It seems that there is wide belief that male sexuality is by nature predatory. Might be some truth to that and the news these days don't really help. But from anecdotal experience, and for having been to those type of parties. Trying to coerce women into coming to those type of party is always plan B. Plan A is always to find open minded women with common interest. And much in the same way that height and muscular bodies are attractive to certain women, money,weath and power is attractive to enough women that plan A i usually all one needs...

Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#186

I like this answer even if i strongly disagree with it. Hopefully we can engage in a polite discussion where i can contribute the male centric counter-part of your perspective. >That technique may be used for women (and, heck, men too -- I'm the female 'breadwinner' of my household, although I didn't meet my husband at a sex party...) Yes some men, but those case are very rare and fare in between. I don't have any be…

> I don't have any better analogy than saying that's like talking about female on male rape or white people being also subject to police violence when talking about black life matters.

That second analogy isn’t what you probably want; White people are very much subject to police violence; BLM is about the lack of accountability for (not just police; the impetus was actually the Trayvon Martin killing, which was not by police) violence against black people and not about the idea that black people are uniquely the target of police violence.

Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#187

I like this answer even if i strongly disagree with it. Hopefully we can engage in a polite discussion where i can contribute the male centric counter-part of your perspective. >That technique may be used for women (and, heck, men too -- I'm the female 'breadwinner' of my household, although I didn't meet my husband at a sex party...) Yes some men, but those case are very rare and fare in between. I don't have any be…

> I don't have any better analogy than saying that's like talking about female on male rape or white people being also subject to police violence when talking about black life matters. That second analogy isn’t what you probably want; White people are very much subject to police violence; BLM is about the lack of accountability for (not just police; the impetus was actually the Trayvon Martin killing, which was not b…

> violence against black people and not about the idea that black people are uniquely the target of police violence.

I guess we will have to disagree on this. My perspective is that they are. The frequency, the magnitude and ubiquity of said violence makes it a distinct experience than most other racial group.

Another analogy, both I and a poor child in Somalia experience hunger from time to time, but i think his/her experience is distinctively worst than mine.

Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#188
post #35

So...a Silicon Valley version of a Hellfire club [1]? What's the deal with that hot tub party photo from 1996? In particular what is supporting the laptop? It appears to be right on the surface of the water, which would be a ridiculous way to try to use it, as any ripples or waves would get it wet. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hellfire_Club

I think the dark-haired guy's left hand is holding the laptop, with his elbow in the water. Or maybe it's the blonde's left hand.

I wonder what software he's showing off!

Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#189
post #72

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Maybe the lifestyle is different as a VC, but as an engineer, this seems so disjointed from reality that it's almost farcical. I can barely get some of my coworkers to stop talking about code for more than a breath I think you and most of us on here fall within "the vast majority" referenced in the article: "Still, the vast majority of people in Silicon Valley have no idea these kinds of sex parties are happening a…

I think the thing that rubs me the wrong way is the article still feels like it's implying that it is common at the uppermost levels, but I suspect it's a very very small fraction of that very very small pie. Then again, I don't know what I don't know.

I was at a party with a mid tier VC partner as he described a hotel off sandhill where there was a set night of the week where the women at the bar were all prostitutes. You'd buy one a necklace at the jewelry shop around the corner, give her the jewelry and receipt, and take her up to your room. Afterwards she'd return it for cash (minus a small "restocking" fee).

He seemed bewildered by the whole scene, but was very matter of fact about it/I don't think he was bullshitting. This stuff is definitely happening in a regular and organized way, albeit well above my pay grade.

Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#190
post #63

My goodness, the pearl clutching sex panic is hilarious coming from Vanity Fair. Rich people have parties and they're fun because when you're rich you can afford good drugs and nice venues. News at 10.

> News at 10. No. It's film at 11.

Sitcom at 8
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