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Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

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151–160 of 219 posts

Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#151

This article makes me wonder, what, exactly, is wrong and what is supposed to be done about this. I get that it seems exploitative and probably does have consequences for social attitudes at work, but what I don't understand is what's to be done about this? Surely there's nothing (drug use aside) that's legally actionable about this. The encounters seemed consensual in the sense that the women weren't threatened or f…

As someone who did a lot of ecstasy in the late 90s, I’m skeptical about how much actual sex is happening at these ecstasy fueled parties.

Back when I was going to ecstasy-fueled weekend-long after parties at peoples houses, there was a lot more talking, hugging and dancing happening than sex.

I think people who haven’t tried ecstasy have a really skewed idea about how people behave on it. Mostly you just want to listen to music and dance and talk. You often couldn’t have sex even if you wanted to.

Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#152
post #48

What's up with all these sensational articles about Silicon Valley? Maybe the lifestyle is different as a VC, but as an engineer, this seems so disjointed from reality that it's almost farcical. I can barely get some of my coworkers to stop talking about code for more than a breath. There's no way that they're engaging in any of these activities. Can anyone vouch for this behavior being prevalent? To me it just seems…

> Maybe the lifestyle is different as a VC, but as an engineer, this seems so disjointed from reality that it's almost farcical.

Engineer here. Yeah, headlines should stop saying "Silicon Valley". How about "Rich Entrepreneur's Secretive, Orgiastic Side."?

Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#153
A common refrain: practice X is packaged by its purveyors as the sine qua non of enlightened thinking and action. But ultimately, it is argued, ends up reinforcing the establishment status quo. Can be applied universally to everything from the gig economy to young blood infusions.

In this context, however, I believe we are witnessing an unprecedented and radical redefinition of traditional monogamy in real-time.

Naturally, social media plays a fundamental role in the re-thinking of modern monogamy. And one can't help but infer some connection between a platform and its creator's biases.

At root is perhaps a philosophy born in the heyday of the Haight-Ashbury scene. Free Love. The idea that anyone can share intimacy with any one else. Without possessiveness. Without jealousy. Without betrayal. As long as there is explicit consent.

It's not even a modern idea. Some elements are found in Plato's Republic. Fertility rites attended by the entire polis. Followed by newborns becoming wards of the state. To be raised with egalitarian love. And no parent showing any preference for their own offspring over another.

But does it actually work in practice? Are we actually wired for pan-amory?

Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_at_Dawn

Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#154
This is a bit tangential but I wonder how the following classic psychological experiment would play out if participants were on MDMA, drunk, or aware of social status:

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/285214736_Deviance_...

Also, I wonder if in today's world (with more gender equality) if some of the female participants might actually not have wanted to be intimate.

Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#155
OK, so this bothers me on a couple of levels. One, this strikes me as New York wagging its fingers at San Francisco, while bankers and media types have been having parties like this for ages, and it's taken with more or less a shrug. That said, though, it's also a bit slimy the ways that feminist polyamory and sex-positive community has been coopted as some sort of fig leaf for plain old money and power. The bankers never sought to justify themselves. I don't think that actually alters the basic morality one way or the other, but I have to say, I'm reminded of this scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rkj6PhhhzDk

Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#156
This article felt like a an "Unsolved Mysteries" narration to begin with, but this part really set off my BS sensors:

> MDMA is a powerful and long-lasting drug whose one-two punch of euphoria and manic energy can keep you rolling for three or four hours. As dopamine fires, connections spark around the room, and normal inhibitions drop away. People start cuddling and making out. These aren’t group orgies, per se, but guests will break out into twosomes or threesomes or more. They may disappear into one of the venue’s many rooms, or they may simply get down in the open. Night turns to day, and the group reconvenes for breakfast, after which some may have intercourse again. Eat, drugs, sex, repeat.

Listen, MDMA is great. But make people want to fuck it does not. In fact, it's damn near impossible to become seriously sexually aroused on MDMA. It promotes a much more fraternal feeling than a sexual one.

Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#157
post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Rich men vastly outnumbered by 20 something women? The men are finally in positions of power and the women think that being in the ‘inner circle’ might open doors for them? In might be consensual in the sense that everyone said yes, but there’s a known balance of power. Sounds like coercion and naivety.

The article certainly wants to paint the women as naive rather than empowered sexual beings.

Maybe ‘naive’ is not the right word. I am sure they knew intellectually what was expected of them.

Sounds like they are explained the situation when they get invited.

But it also sounds like there is no way to back out or participate without repercussions leaking into their normal lives. Not exactly fair.

Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#158

This sounds like something out of Eyes Wide Shut, but with social awkwardness, baggy dad jeans, and crocs and socks. I can't imagine this is emotionally healthy for most of the folks involved. The once socially-exiled men trading wealth and drugs and (implicit) promises of career advancement for sex. The women who hope to leverage their looks for access to a better life, but risk ruining their reputations due to soci…

This sounds like something out of Eyes Wide Shut, but with social awkwardness, baggy dad jeans, and crocs and socks...

Orgies are fine. I've never been to one and have no desire to go to one. The real issue here is the power-asymmetry between the men and women involved

Heck, there are low-rent "eyes wide shut" style events in Houston which are distinctly lower middle class. Glowing bracelets to color code your availability. Mud-wrestling scale large amounts of home formulated glycerin lubricant. Not a VC in sight, not a whiff of money and power. Just a whole lot of ex-employees of ISPs and assorted lower middle class nerd/weirdo friends. One of the parties I know of is lesbians only. Another one of them is yearly and run by a woman in an open marriage.

There are only two things in the Bay Area I know of that might fall vaguely into this sensational category. One of them was some kind of brunch with a live sex show. (The other: furries, and I don't know much more than that and I don't want to know!)

People have been doing one variation or another of this bacchanal stuff since time immemorial. It's "Honest" John the Fox and Gideon the Cat from Pinocchio offering you the tickets to Pleasure Island. There's much better one can do with the strength of one's body, mind, and passions than that nonsense. For those of you still in your teens and early 20's -- it's your job to make it past your youth with your honor, your mind, and your optimism intact.

Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#160
This stuff goes on the most in San Francisco of any US city, but that still might be just a very small portion of the city I want to say.

Love communes or any “orgy” related group have a long history in the US, going all the way back to the early 19-century in New York State. By the 1970’s, most free-love and BDSM communities were in California. All of them collapsed after some period of time, although a large portion of those failures were for simple economic reasons.

Today, Nicole Daedone’s “OneTaste” group is probably the most famous, I guess you would say, “alternative love making” group in SF that very smartly combined meditation just as it was getting popular with mutual masturbation (less intimidating for people than sex). Tim Ferris wrote about them in his book “The Four Hour Body”.

Also recently Neil Strauss’s book “The Truth” goes into detail on a lot of these communities. That book took place I think in 2014ish, and it seemed there were many bdsm, multi-partner, free-love groups in SF that were easy for him to find.

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