When I lived in SF, I parked my bike in the apartment parking garage (where (I think) there were no power outlets). However, my primary biking destination was work, where I brought the bike into the office where I could have charged it if I had an eBike.
In the apartment where I live now, there's a dedicated card-access bike room with power outlets, so eBike owners can charge up there. (the room wasn't designed for eBike charging, there are only 2 duplex outlets, but a couple power strips mean that everyone with an eBike can plug in at once.
Though SF is small enough that an eBike is probably not necessary for most people - I lived near the top of Nob Hill and managed to commute on a regular bike for 8 years (2 of those years I was commuting to Marin). When I moved out to the Sunset, then there was an easy route to downtown (the "wiggle") to avoid the hills)
I'm having trouble believing that you're making a serious argument against eBikes, since you dismissed the solution to your problem (removable batteries) because it "looks super clumsy". As a recreational cyclist, I've always looked for reasons to ride a bike rather than looking for reasons why I can't.
I've stayed away from eBikes up till now because I haven't had a commute that really needs it, but I'm contemplating moving to where my bike commute will go from my current flat 5 miles to 15 miles with some short steep climbs in the middle. That's a commute where an eBike makes more sense to me. (but not a 1000W semi-motorcycle, just looking for a bit of boost for my aging knees to get up the hills)