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Ask HN: What's the best way to recover from burnout?

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Re: Ask HN: What's the best way to recover from burnout?

#61

Post by justboxing »

davj wrote: post #31

It's a struggle, I feel your burnt out pain. I went through a similar stretch last year... I tried traveling, I tried picking up new hobbies, I tried not working at all. 2 things that helped the most: 1. seeing a therapist regularly -- wish i started this sooner in my career. 2. taking a break and traveling with a group called unsettled - group of 30 people who are in transition in some way... leaving job, starting n…

> but unsettled attracts people in transition which i found to be a good fit for me. see here http://beunsettled.co

Thanks for this. Was looking exactly for something like this.

Have you done any of their retreats? Can you share your experience if you don't mind? Also, in their F.A.Q, there's no mention of airfare in neither the 'What's included' nor the 'What's not included' section. Do you know?

Re: Ask HN: What's the best way to recover from burnout?

#62

Post by alltakendamned »

I once came across a list of burnout drivers, it might help you figure out which aspect is currently "wrong".

- Lack of control. You don’t have a lot of say about what’s going on in your work, or your sense of control is undermined or restricted.

- Values conflict. There’s a disconnect between your own core values and the core values of the organisation.

- Insufficient reward. You feel undercompensated, underappreciated, and taken for granted.

- Work overload. Your workload is too much, too urgent, or too complicated.

- Unfairness. You’re treated poorly by the organisation, management plays favourites, and assignments and promotions are made behind closed doors.

- Breakdown of community. Your colleagues patronise you or others, there’s no-one to talk with about conflicts, and feedback is non-existent.

Re: Ask HN: What's the best way to recover from burnout?

#63

Post by zapperdapper »

> I've decided I need to quit.

OK fair enough. But ... have you tried various options first within your current job? Have you asked for an extended holiday? Could you change your commute so you cycle in at least part way? A four day week? Have you looked at your schedule and tried to add more exercise? Are you sleeping 8 hours? Have you asked for a sabbatical? (ARM for example will give you a paid three month sabbatical every four years.) I say this because you said at one point you loved the work. You might just need to shake things up a bit.

If you really decided to move on then lots of good advice here already...

Re: Ask HN: What's the best way to recover from burnout?

#64

Post by zapperdapper »

aragorn2 wrote: post #42

Man, you are describing exactly how I’ve been feeling past couple of years. I don’t have the balls to quit (wife, kids..). The only difference is that I actually hate the industry (gambling) I’m in (started because money was great). I’ve been here for 10 years and have domain knowledge. I don’t know what else would I like to do. I have some money saved for some couple of years off, if I really scaled down, but then w…

I was in your position aged 40 and didn't do anything about it. I ended up divorced, broke and ill. So, my point is - can you afford not to do something about it?

I would scale down, perhaps downsize if you can, and save more, before that is forced on you anyway. It gives you more options. Talk to your wife so she is fully appraised of how you feel (there are mixed views on this though - that's mine).

So, you then have another problem - you take time out, what to do then? Well, it seems you have a value conflict with the industry you are in. It should not be too hard to transition into a new industry in software.

By the way, if you are feeling like you want to transition out of the software industry you might start trying other things on the side just to see what you like doing.

You might feel old at 41, but when you are 55 like me you will look back and say - God I was young then even though I felt OLD! :)

Re: Ask HN: What's the best way to recover from burnout?

#65

Post by zapperdapper »

hesdeadjim wrote: post #39

I hit a really bad burnout four years ago and after reading about peoples’ experience with sabbaticals I took three months off unpaid. I spent the first month of that trying to “figure things out” until my girlfriend got sick of me and suggested I just try and have some fun. That’s what I did for the last two months and, surprise, the burnout went away and my passion returned. Depending on how bad your burnout is you…

Would agree with this. Also agree 3 months is the minimum should be thinking of for a sabbatical.

There's a good book on this topic called Play It Away by Charlie Hoehn.

Re: Ask HN: What's the best way to recover from burnout?

#66

Post by zapperdapper »

ToJans wrote: post #17

Mens sana in corpore sano. I was losing grip as well this summer, so I started road cycling: only a few km at first, but now I have no issues with doing centuries (i.e. 100km). I can't give you any guarantees because I wasn't exactly burned out yet, but it helped me big-time, and I've lost some weight and built some physique while doing it. Some might say there's a nice metaphor in cycling further each time, but you…

I think cycling is also a good idea. If I ever went back to full-time permanent work I would make sure I could commute by bike.

Re: Ask HN: What's the best way to recover from burnout?

#67

Post by Inforator »

Stay in a monastery for some days - that's what I regurlarly do once or twice a year. Look for a monastery where you can stay as a guest, and take part in the daily life of the monks (more or less intensive, depending on your attitude to religion). This time helps me to focus on my life, my goals, my past, my future - to have time to reflect on that - and only on that. Usually I go there for three or four days. Such a stay won't solve any problems concerning burnout, at least not immediately. It will, however, give you occasion to focus on them with the less possible amount of disturbings from the world around you. Hope this helps.

Re: Ask HN: What's the best way to recover from burnout?

#68

Post by zapperdapper »

WheelsAtLarge wrote: post #55

You got to find balance in your life - whole life. One of the big issues with burn out is that one thing takes over your whole life. Being the best employee is great but it comes at a cost to you. The sad part is that you can be the best. So good that you kill yourself but ultimately you're just a person that can be replaced. A small cog in the system. The problem is that you stopped looking forward to things because…

This is really good advice. It is very important to find balance. Also, I think it is so important to keep trying new things until something clicks - you just don't know what that is going to be until you try it.

Re: Ask HN: What's the best way to recover from burnout?

#69

Post by switch007 »

packetslave wrote: post #45
Cretin2 wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How do you deal with the sore as hell sit bones?

Finding the right saddle for your particular anatomy helps a LOT (I swear by ISM saddles, but lots of people hate them) So does finding the right cycling shorts (you want a good quality pad, but too thick and you'll chafe). A good bike fit by an experienced fitter goes a long way towards improving comfort on long rides. You don't necessarily need a $300 3D geometry fitting (unless you're a pro or aspiring pro), but s…

> good deal of the fix for sore sit bones is simply putting in the time until your body gets used to the stress you're asking of it.

That's my experience.

I also tried a $120 saddle following a fitting session. It was torture (I tried it for months). I picked up a $12 saddle from Lidl and all the pain went away. YMMV.

Re: Ask HN: What's the best way to recover from burnout?

#70

Post by dasmoth »

pfarnsworth wrote: post #6

I took off almost a year. It was so worth it. I coded every day for 8 hrs a day 5-7 days a week and I was doing it for the sheer love of it. I reconnected with why I love coding. I also worked out, cooked dinner for my wife, did all the errands, etc. Overall, I was never bored a single day, and I would quit in a heartbeat and do the same if I every made enough money (unlikely). I had saved up a decent amount of money…

but that time off cost me about $60,000

How did that compare with the costs you’d imagined beforehand? Were there any big-ticket costs associated with taking a sabbatical which you hadn’t expected?

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