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Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

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Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#31

Post by arjenbos »

In my experience the first 9 months are hard, there will be a limited time for hacking. Just accept this and spent time on your kid and spouse. Any work you will get done is a bonus.

After 9 months your kid will get into a rhythm, sleep at night from 7 till 7 and take 2 two hour naps during the day. This will give you more time to start hacking again. After another 9 months your kids rhythm will change again. Still sleeping from 7 till 7 at night, but only one longer 3 hour nap during the day.

Off course every kid is different, but my kid, and the kids of my friends generally follow this sleeping pattern.

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#32

Post by barrydahlberg »

KoZeN wrote: post #30
ezmobius wrote: post #26

I have a 5 1/2 month old boy named Ryland and he is just now finally sleeping all night long(9pm to 7:30am) The first 2-3 months were zombie time. I couldn't get any work done because of the sleep dep. My one biggest piece of advice. SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS. or you will get NO sleep ever. It will be the roughest thing you have ever gone through but one smile from your childs face up at yours makes it all better an…

I was keen to respond to this thread until I read the above response. Ezmobius has absolutely nailed it. I'm an incredible proud Dad to a fifteen week old baby boy and his advice echoes every single thing I was going to say. Then once you go back to work expect to only work on the computer when you are at work. I'd like to elaborate on this point. Leaving Mum & baby at home will be difficult for a while, I still stru…

Routine. Routine, routine, routine, routine.

This. It took us 8 months to get it sorted but now our little boy just about begs to be put to bed and he sleeps 10 hours a night without a sound.

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#33

Post by petercooper »

fezzl wrote: post #6
jacquesm wrote: post #3

Kids come first! Spouses second. Computers third. I'm sure you already figured that one out but I still have to remind myself periodically when I'm in to something interesting so I figured it wouldn't hurt to repeat it. Get up an hour or two before your kids do so you can get some work done when you're still fresh (assuming your kids don't get up at 6 am :) ).

Why kids first, spouses second?

I think having an order is nonsense. Who gets the most attention should depend on the context and the seriousness of whatever's going on. If my kid wants to play but my wife is bawling her eyes out over something, the kid isn't coming first in that situation.

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#34

Post by barrydahlberg »

Find something your child loves and make it a routine to do it the moment you get home from work.

When I arrive home my boy is usually standing at the window waiting for me with a silly grin on his face. I open the door, Mum passes him to me and I carry him straight to the park to look at the trees. Fresh air, relaxing sunsets, big baby laughs and cuddles...

I really can't think of any better way to let go of work day stress and prepare yourself for the chaos that is dinner, bath and bedtime!

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#35

Post by petercooper »

gubatron wrote: post #22

Me, I've been looking for a Provigil prescription. My daughter though is my biggest treasure, nothing in life will ever make me as happy, fullfilled and scared of loosing than her. I've been a dad now for 3 months (currently working long hours and waiting for baby to wake up for her 3am feeding) I've learned to value sleep, I think of weekend afternoons as brain-rebuilding sessions, I sleep as much as I can saturdays…

I'm convinced modafinil and the like would help a lot in sleep crisis moments in the early stages, though a problem is that you need to catch up on the sleep /eventually/ so it could never be a regular, routine solution. Another problem is that such drugs take time to kick in and you might not know when such a crisis moment would be in advance.. You tend to break fast under baby and sleep related stress. For the birth and first night, though, it'd really help the father stay up and take some of the stress off the mother.

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#36

Post by KoZeN »

barrydahlberg wrote: post #32
KoZeN wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was keen to respond to this thread until I read the above response. Ezmobius has absolutely nailed it. I'm an incredible proud Dad to a fifteen week old baby boy and his advice echoes every single thing I was going to say. Then once you go back to work expect to only work on the computer when you are at work. I'd like to elaborate on this point. Leaving Mum & baby at home will be difficult for a while, I still stru…

Routine. Routine, routine, routine, routine. This. It took us 8 months to get it sorted but now our little boy just about begs to be put to bed and he sleeps 10 hours a night without a sound.

It's absolute bliss!

We are incredibly lucky, since 10 weeks old, baby Cameron has been sleeping a minimum of 8 hours a night.

Sometimes it takes 10 weeks, sometimes it takes 8 months, either way, it's worth the effort.

Kids thrive on routine.

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#37

Post by eelco »

With the first child on the way (very soon now), I have been 'practicing' taking evenings and weekends off for a couple of months now. At first you might think you won't have enough time but it already taught me the difference between being busy and being productive. I also sleep better, giving myself enough time to get to a calm state ;) I can highly recommend it (kids or no kids)

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#39

Post by jacquesm »

petercooper wrote: post #33
fezzl wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why kids first, spouses second?

I think having an order is nonsense. Who gets the most attention should depend on the context and the seriousness of whatever's going on. If my kid wants to play but my wife is bawling her eyes out over something, the kid isn't coming first in that situation.

Hm. Ok, that's one interpretation that I didn't intend.

As a general rule, outside of exceptional situations, spouses take care of their kids together before they get around to taking care of themselves.

Kids are considered dependents and as such both parents will find that they will instinctively turn towards their children first in times of need. Whether that's always the rational thing to do is a different question but that seems to be the normal order of things.

When your child is doing fine and your spouse needs you the order is obviously different, need trumps play any day.

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#40

Post by cisba »

ezmobius wrote: post #26

I have a 5 1/2 month old boy named Ryland and he is just now finally sleeping all night long(9pm to 7:30am) The first 2-3 months were zombie time. I couldn't get any work done because of the sleep dep. My one biggest piece of advice. SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS. or you will get NO sleep ever. It will be the roughest thing you have ever gone through but one smile from your childs face up at yours makes it all better an…

All true. If you cant reduce drastically your sleep time.
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