I have always been lonely all my life. I will use this to my advantage.
Modern life is lonely – We all need someone to help
41–50 of 182 posts
Re: Modern life is lonely – We all need someone to help
#42Earlier quoted context omitted.
They were generally family groups that very much depended on each other constantly for survival. The social dynamics would be very different than what can readily be imagined today. Harassing someone whose existence is necessary for you all to eat tomorrow or to avoid getting eaten by wild animals is going to be quite a different situation. Applying the fad buzzword for children being mean to each other in suburban m…
The only people who long for a large family are the ones that aren't in one. Look at how much constant violence and bullying there is between any siblings when an adult isn't around to stop it.
Different environment, no?
Back then, kids would need to rely on each other more, no?
Nowadays, what good is a sibling really?
Re: Modern life is lonely – We all need someone to help
#43I don't think number of lonely people increases, they just become much more visible. Social networks and other changes in modern society make loneliness acceptable and people stop hiding it.
At the same time, social networks create an illusion for lonely people so they feel accompanied. It’s not all that bad.
On the other hand one might argue that they also create the illusion of how fantastic and exciting everyone else's life is - an artificial and often unrealistic image that's broadcasted and probably not helping lonely people at all.
Re: Modern life is lonely – We all need someone to help
#44I don't think number of lonely people increases, they just become much more visible. Social networks and other changes in modern society make loneliness acceptable and people stop hiding it.
At the same time, social networks create an illusion for lonely people so they feel accompanied. It’s not all that bad.
Junk food isn't bad once in a while.
But if you eat junk food all the time, it's pretty obvious that one of the immediate consequences of eating junk food every day is the general decline of your health.
So it goes for social media. Social networks are the junk food of socializing. And don't get me started on what that does to someone's sense of self, well-being, norms, ethics, morality etc.
Maybe this picture will be illuminating to you[1]. It succinctly summarizes what I'm trying to say.
I should probably mention the image might be NSFW.
[1] http://artfucksme.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/controversi...
Re: Modern life is lonely – We all need someone to help
#45Lately I've become more and more convinced that indeed, modern society sucks, or at the very least that I, and people like me, am not well equipped to flourish in it. I'm sure some people are though, but I suspect they are becoming the minority. Few days ago I also read Ted Kaczynski's essay[1], and it's hard for me not to acknowledge how right he is on many points. However, I do believe it is possible to survive all…
I learned from Zen Buddhism the same idea that you share here. Indeed, if we treat other people like other act of god, i.e. as things that don't act but just are, a lot of stress, anger, and sadness will vanish [1]. Zen and Stoicism are similar in their promotion of acceptance. I happen to feel more drawn to Zen because of their comprehensive guide towards how to achieve this acceptance. [1] Within Zen, this idea is…
Great parable, thanks!
Re: Modern life is lonely – We all need someone to help
#46Best solution to loneliness is to gain massive debt, become dirt poor, and battle daily with attention deficit issues while you struggle to learn and become productive enough to get a job in the software industry with a pretty horrible work history, an incomplete bachelors, and a near worthless associates. Living one rung lower on Maslow's hierarchy makes you forget about the desire to be around people, or even leave…
Let’s leave politics aside please.
Politics? Que? I didn't mention anything political.
Re: Modern life is lonely – We all need someone to help
#47Personally, going to Church has helped me suffer less with loneliness. I've made meaningful friendships, and relationships with people from all sorts of backgrounds. It has given more meaning to my life than anything I found at work, or by random socialising. Of course, YMMV. Please take this as a random anecdote, not as evangelism.
I would like that but I just can't stand all the the talk, for me it's so wrong and incoherent that I wouldn't be able to start arguing so I don't go.
The community part is really great though, as a Expat I really miss that sometimes.
Re: Modern life is lonely – We all need someone to help
#48Personally, going to Church has helped me suffer less with loneliness. I've made meaningful friendships, and relationships with people from all sorts of backgrounds. It has given more meaning to my life than anything I found at work, or by random socialising. Of course, YMMV. Please take this as a random anecdote, not as evangelism.
I know a few people who have suggested attending a Unitarian Church ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unitarian_Universalism ) as a way to get the social benefits of church without having to subscribe to a religious belief. Many congregations include atheists and agnostics.
There is one in my city, never heard of it before...
thanks for the input I will give it a shot...
Re: Modern life is lonely – We all need someone to help
#49Best solution to loneliness is to gain massive debt, become dirt poor, and battle daily with attention deficit issues while you struggle to learn and become productive enough to get a job in the software industry with a pretty horrible work history, an incomplete bachelors, and a near worthless associates. Living one rung lower on Maslow's hierarchy makes you forget about the desire to be around people, or even leave…
Ouch. Hope it gets better. Have you tried subreddits like https://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/ , /r/offmychest/, or something like 7 cups of tea? As the story relates, we're more like to offer practical advice here on HN rather than the emotional support you probably need right now. It does, honestly, get better. You're making the right moves, even if it does all look desperate right now.
Danke. I'm cool for the most part right now. I've come to embrace my anxiety to an extent. If I'm able to type, then that means it's mostly not affecting me at the moment. Late night just has me feeling a lack of inhibition and dis-concern for my privacy on these matters.
As far as caffeine goes, I don't know what I'd do without it. Up until recently I was on 2 doses of 3 cups (measurement unit) of espresso per day, but I've realized that I needed to up the dosage, or at least the source. So I went down to 1 dose of 3 cups of espresso + 1 caffeine pill later on, 1 Monster Energy (lowest caffeine content of all my sources I believe), and 1 cup of green tea. This also has the side benefit of pain relief from the muscle tear issues.
As for software development, I'm in the process of learning the ins and outs of OAuth and OpenID Connect prior to implementing a sign up and login. Using Node, so it seems like there is a wealth of tutorials out there for passport, and apparently many of them are insecure (or so I've read), so I want to fully understand the concepts behind the most commonly accepted as secure protocols for Authorization and Authentication. Please correct me if I've said anything gibberish; still learning.
Re: Modern life is lonely – We all need someone to help
#50Lately I've become more and more convinced that indeed, modern society sucks, or at the very least that I, and people like me, am not well equipped to flourish in it. I'm sure some people are though, but I suspect they are becoming the minority. Few days ago I also read Ted Kaczynski's essay[1], and it's hard for me not to acknowledge how right he is on many points. However, I do believe it is possible to survive all…
I learned from Zen Buddhism the same idea that you share here. Indeed, if we treat other people like other act of god, i.e. as things that don't act but just are, a lot of stress, anger, and sadness will vanish [1]. Zen and Stoicism are similar in their promotion of acceptance. I happen to feel more drawn to Zen because of their comprehensive guide towards how to achieve this acceptance. [1] Within Zen, this idea is…
Actually this is the central tenet[0] of Buddhism. Zen is only one tradition[1] of its teaching. If you'd like to read the closest we have to "original" material on Buddhist philosophy (translated directly to modern English from written Pali[2]), check out https://accesstoinsight.org/ptf/dhamma/sacca/
[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Noble_Truths
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Template:Buddhist_traditions_t...