Claiming our lives back from social media addiction • Hacker News Board

Re: Claiming our lives back from social media addiction

#11

Post by ohtwenty » Mon, Dec 11, 2017, 10:59 AM UTC

rn3aoh wrote: post #8

I've read an article like this so many times... They called it "internet addiction" before, and accused people of persistent need to check their email. What all of these authors seem to conveniently ignore is that "social media" is not television, not a single source broadcast, even though social media companies would really want it to be. Just a single chokepoint. Social media has real people on the other end. Media…

I mean I get what you're saying but sex addiction is also a thing with real people on the other side. It's not as straightforward as the article implies, you're right, but that doesn't mean there isn't a middle ground

Re: Claiming our lives back from social media addiction

#12

Post by cousin_it » Mon, Dec 11, 2017, 11:11 AM UTC

I think of TV/gaming/internet/Facebook addiction as a generalized addiction to screens. You probably can't kick it cold turkey if your job involves looking at a screen. But you can do the next best thing: avoid all screens except your work screen. No smartphones, tablets, consoles, TVs... (A dumb phone is allowed.)

Re: Claiming our lives back from social media addiction

#13

Post by jchw » Mon, Dec 11, 2017, 12:01 PM UTC

Social media and people on social media do not know us better than we know ourselves because all of us lie and try to look cool on social media. Like, can you think of the last time you saw someone clearly trying to act smart on a forum, maybe even... right here?

As far as I'm concerned, all social media knows is how to exploit us. It hones in on what gets us engaged. I think that is far worse than 'knowing us' - I'd actually find that comforting, in some ways.

As an example, I don't think social networks really want to work on ending abusive behavior or harassment because often those behaviors create engagement. People logging on to argue at random people about whether or not you should've voted for $CANDIDATE vehemently all day long are people using the platform and showing up in the numbers. It's good business. Verifying an actual nazi on Twitter? People may have been angry but they expressed it _by using the platform itself_. Whether Twitter was right to verify them is up to you, but the reaction is undeniable.

But honestly, we're all bullshit artists. I would never go liking all of the stuff I like in real life on a Facebook in my name. Do I want all of my friends and future employers to know how obsessed I am with some subculture? Not really. I'd rather like things that make me look normal and fit in.

I haven't been on Facebook in a long time, but the Internet as a whole has felt worse since engaging socially as my real life identity. I felt it was more fun and genuine when it wasn't real life identities, although that ship may have sailed thanks to bots and vandalism.

Re: Claiming our lives back from social media addiction

#14

Post by Vinnl » Mon, Dec 11, 2017, 1:07 PM UTC

jchw wrote: post #13

Social media and people on social media do not know us better than we know ourselves because all of us lie and try to look cool on social media. Like, can you think of the last time you saw someone clearly trying to act smart on a forum, maybe even... right here? As far as I'm concerned, all social media knows is how to exploit us. It hones in on what gets us engaged. I think that is far worse than 'knowing us' - I'd…

On the one hand this is true: the things we tell social media are really unreliable indicators of ourselves.

On the other hand, the knowledge social media has about us goes beyond what we enter in it. They know what we read, often what website we visit, what we click on, what we hover over but don't click on, whose profiles we view, what posts/comments we start to type but then remove, etc. Those can reveal a lot of things we don't know about ourselves.

Re: Claiming our lives back from social media addiction

#15

Post by addicted » Mon, Dec 11, 2017, 1:22 PM UTC

Vinnl wrote: post #14

jchw wrote: post #13

Social media and people on social media do not know us better than we know ourselves because all of us lie and try to look cool on social media. Like, can you think of the last time you saw someone clearly trying to act smart on a forum, maybe even... right here? As far as I'm concerned, all social media knows is how to exploit us. It hones in on what gets us engaged. I think that is far worse than 'knowing us' - I'd…

On the one hand this is true: the things we tell social media are really unreliable indicators of ourselves. On the other hand, the knowledge social media has about us goes beyond what we enter in it. They know what we read, often what website we visit, what we click on, what we hover over but don't click on, whose profiles we view, what posts/comments we start to type but then remove, etc. Those can reveal a lot of…

Facebook also knows a lot about what you do offline, such as the stores you visited and the purchases you’ve made.

Re: Claiming our lives back from social media addiction

#16

Post by chillingeffect » Mon, Dec 11, 2017, 1:49 PM UTC

cdancette wrote: post #2

I feel like there's at least one article per day about this on the front page of HN. Though it's good more and more people become conscious about the issues with social networks and addiction / attention loss.

I believe the reason the "problem" doesn't go away is because it's constantly framed in black and white terms: "Is social good or bad?" and usually supported with the same bleak facts: "it's makes use depressed, it gives marketers information about us."

It's a really a form of media control a la the Chomsky model of "allowing lively debate, but only within certain range of discussion." It's becoming tedious and conditioning us to stop considering how to bring our use of it under our control.

What would bring resolution (and great mental health) would be articles that talk more about how to use social media in a healthy ways. These comments are the ones the spring up in forums, including HN, where people have a bit of distance and self-reflection. For example, don't overly fetishize friendships from decades ago. don't give personal details. Don't give overly idealistic presentations of ones' self, etc.

Re: Claiming our lives back from social media addiction

#17

Post by ashark » Mon, Dec 11, 2017, 1:57 PM UTC

cousin_it wrote: post #12

I think of TV/gaming/internet/Facebook addiction as a generalized addiction to screens. You probably can't kick it cold turkey if your job involves looking at a screen. But you can do the next best thing: avoid all screens except your work screen. No smartphones, tablets, consoles, TVs... (A dumb phone is allowed.)

TV with no antenna and putting part of what used to be your Internet+services money to a dvd or two a month, and maybe a game every couple months on some older console, probably wouldn’t be too bad. Or just using the library for movies. The Internet and its never-ending content are the main problem, IMO.

Re: Claiming our lives back from social media addiction

#18

Post by 0xJRS » Mon, Dec 11, 2017, 2:05 PM UTC

rn3aoh wrote: post #8

I've read an article like this so many times... They called it "internet addiction" before, and accused people of persistent need to check their email. What all of these authors seem to conveniently ignore is that "social media" is not television, not a single source broadcast, even though social media companies would really want it to be. Just a single chokepoint. Social media has real people on the other end. Media…

I have the opposite, I never want to check my email.

Re: Claiming our lives back from social media addiction

#19

Post by RpFLCL » Mon, Dec 11, 2017, 2:11 PM UTC

chillingeffect wrote: post #16

cdancette wrote: post #2

I feel like there's at least one article per day about this on the front page of HN. Though it's good more and more people become conscious about the issues with social networks and addiction / attention loss.

I believe the reason the "problem" doesn't go away is because it's constantly framed in black and white terms: "Is social good or bad?" and usually supported with the same bleak facts: "it's makes use depressed, it gives marketers information about us." It's a really a form of media control a la the Chomsky model of "allowing lively debate, but only within certain range of discussion." It's becoming tedious and condi…

> For example, don't overly fetishize friendships from decades ago. don't give personal details. Don't give overly idealistic presentations of ones' self, etc

Unfortunately these are the sorts of activities that social media sites encourage. The rush of dopamine from a flood of likes and comments is real and encouraged like a game.

As long as these sites operate as massive companies (selling ads), they'll keep encouraging the things that increase screen time.

> It's a really a form of media control a la the Chomsky model of "allowing lively debate, but only within certain range of discussion."

I do agree with your point about increasing the scope of the conversation, but I'm not convinced that the healthy habits you mentioned are actionable for most users.

Re: Claiming our lives back from social media addiction

#20

Post by mkstowegnv » Mon, Dec 11, 2017, 2:25 PM UTC

In my life some of the most interesting lasting friendships were made with strangers I met in hostels while traveling and at weddings. But my recent experiences with hostels and weddings and bus stops and pretty much everywhere (even in remote areas in the third world) is that instead of talking to each other everyone is giving their attention to their smartphones. Social media needs to start making its emphasis the creation of more real world social interaction. What about an opt-in geoaware app tied into or within FB (or other) that runs in the background and when it notes a critical mass of people nearby looks for common friends and interests in the crowd and after appropriate reactions to prompts, makes introductions or even proposes a flashmob activity from among those that some of these people have stored (in the app or somewhere that the app can access) in the hopes that just such a moment would arrive.