My Quadriplegic Husband and Me
catapult.co
My Quadriplegic Husband and Me
1–10 of 88 posts
Re: My Quadriplegic Husband and Me
#2I have a physically and mentally handicapped son and I have to agree with the author ... he leads a great life but it's different. The reality is that everyone's life is different to some degree (more or less).
Re: My Quadriplegic Husband and Me
#3Great read. Is there anyone out there with suggestions on how to go about 'just' building ramps? I would do this all over the place, giving time and labor: but I don't want to also give the time needed for all of the back-and-forth.
Re: My Quadriplegic Husband and Me
#4I’m sorry the author feels this way. I can’t help to feel that she’s trying to draw sympathy to herself. That is very sad, that is stress she doesn’t need.
My father was a paraplegic due to a military injury. Growing up he was a great role model because it never slowed him down. He has never expected, nor demanded anyone accommodate him. I always wondered why. I finally asked him. He explained that it’s morally wrong to demand or require someone to change their way of doing business/practice for him — something very rare. He further explained those who want to go out of their way to accommodate him out of true appreciation for his business are people with true high moral standards and those are the people he would rather do business with.
Re: My Quadriplegic Husband and Me
#5TLDR: "Hell is other people."
I wish I had more to add. I don't. No one in my family is quadriplegic, but we all three have special needs.
Special is the new retard. As the author so eloquently describes, so many people see that and only that and erase everything else about you.
Re: My Quadriplegic Husband and Me
#6Great read. Is there anyone out there with suggestions on how to go about 'just' building ramps? I would do this all over the place, giving time and labor: but I don't want to also give the time needed for all of the back-and-forth.
First thing I found with a search:
http://www.ramps.org/free-ramps.htm
Perhaps it can help you get hooked up with a local organization.
Re: My Quadriplegic Husband and Me
#7TLDR: "Hell is other people." I wish I had more to add. I don't. No one in my family is quadriplegic, but we all three have special needs . Special is the new retard. As the author so eloquently describes, so many people see that and only that and erase everything else about you.
People do, but you will never change people.
Re: My Quadriplegic Husband and Me
#8Great read. Is there anyone out there with suggestions on how to go about 'just' building ramps? I would do this all over the place, giving time and labor: but I don't want to also give the time needed for all of the back-and-forth.
Just recently I learned about StopGap[0] after my neighbour attended a fundraiser. The ramps.org mentioned in sibling comment looks pretty US-centric but StopGap is based out of Toronto.
Re: My Quadriplegic Husband and Me
#9TLDR: "Hell is other people." I wish I had more to add. I don't. No one in my family is quadriplegic, but we all three have special needs . Special is the new retard. As the author so eloquently describes, so many people see that and only that and erase everything else about you.
It reminds me of privileged people who dont care about safety nets, rich people who dont care about high taxes, innocent people who couldnt care less about throwing weed dealers in jail for 10 years, healthy people who have no concern for healthcare costs...
People lack the imagination to really put themselves in others shoes. They are shitty and cruel when they cant empathize. And they have little incentive to try.
Re: My Quadriplegic Husband and Me
#10I’m sorry the author feels this way. I can’t help to feel that she’s trying to draw sympathy to herself. That is very sad, that is stress she doesn’t need. My father was a paraplegic due to a military injury. Growing up he was a great role model because it never slowed him down. He has never expected, nor demanded anyone accommodate him. I always wondered why. I finally asked him. He explained that it’s morally wrong…
Did you actually read the link?
Seems like she very specifically wants to draw LESS sympathy for herself, at least over this. From her description, her husband doesn't seem keen on letting his disability slow him down or prevent him from living life either.
As far as the demanding accommodations go, I think ramped entrances and handicapped parking spots are pretty reasonable standards, ones which have been legally mandated for many years now. While I commend your father for finding folks who respect him to do business with, I cannot agree that it is morally wrong to demand equal access. The American Civil Rights Act of 1964, and the 1990 Americans with Disabilities Act both exist because it was determined that equal access to public businesses and accommodations is a moral imperative, and a right even. I don't think the author is out of line for being frustrated that in 2017 it's still difficult to do something as benign as go out to eat with someone who uses a wheelchair.