My father died a couple of years ago. He was a proud union civil servant, and several dozen (maybe 200) people showed up to the funeral who knew him at various degrees of separation. I knew only a few of them, but it impressed upon me as someone who works more with code than directly with people that so many people so distantly removed from a person would pay such respects. Who shows up to your last rites says a lot about how you lived your life. He spent time above and beyond his work duties to give people a better life by his union activity, the legacy of which lasts today. I have a small-ish family (we're on good terms) and have had some modest accomplishments at work, but most of my friends are from college, and live far away. Old work buddies I see only infrequently, and it'd be hard to imagine how they'd be notified in the case of my death, and I certainly don't have the time or inclination to become such a pioneer in FOSS that my passing would be momentous in the industry. It got me to thinking how we lose a lot not only when we're dedicated to work, but also only to too small a social circle to have the kind of old age and passing that we'd ideally envision for ourselves. It's spurred me to volunteer more time in my local community in various ways in the hopes that I'd become the kind of person others would find dependable, spread the good word about, and miss when I'm gone.
A Generation in Japan Is Facing a Lonely Death
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Re: A Generation in Japan Is Facing a Lonely Death
#82I think I tend towards the Aubrey de Grey point of view on this- it's not necessarily anything anyone is doing wrong here, it's more that these folks are living in dying bodies that can't do what they want them to do. If they were suddenly young again- they could go out, make new connections, start over. With that said, I do see the point that this is a western/capitalist phenomenon in the sense that capitalism encou…
I think it might come back to haunt the butterfly generation, where it's fun to fly off round the world. But then you rarely create connections that are deep enough to stay with you til your death bed.
What exactly is the butterfly generation? I have never heard this term before. Are you referring to the book "The Butterfly Generation" by Palash Krishna Mehrotra and if so does this term have a distinctly Indian meaning or does it apply to people from other countries as well? Thanks for satisfying my curiosity!
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13432312-the-butterfly-g...
Re: A Generation in Japan Is Facing a Lonely Death
#83I think I tend towards the Aubrey de Grey point of view on this- it's not necessarily anything anyone is doing wrong here, it's more that these folks are living in dying bodies that can't do what they want them to do. If they were suddenly young again- they could go out, make new connections, start over. With that said, I do see the point that this is a western/capitalist phenomenon in the sense that capitalism encou…
Folks following the Aubrey de Grey line of thought separate "the person" and "their body" as though the person exists as some kind of "software" running in "hardware" that is about to fail. It might not be that simple. Being suddenly young again would certainly be delightful for a while but there's a huge psychological burden that comes with living for a long time. While it may be possible to extend the life of the b…
I think many people would prefer to be in a body that Doesn't Age/Die Without Permission, and then figure out how to handle the problems later. I'm not saying that's a _wise_ choice, and it could certainly have issues for wealth accumulation, but staving off a certain thing (death) in exchange for nebulous maybe-bad-things (hypothetical future problems) is something that humans seem to be notoriously bad about reasoning about.
Hell, I type this, and I fall for it too: I'd much rather be able to live forever, without fear of Alzheimer's or a failing body. I have no idea how I'd pay for that, but I'd be a liar if I said I didn't want to Not Die.
Re: A Generation in Japan Is Facing a Lonely Death
#84I recently read an article about India being afraid of embracing Western marriage basically for fear that it would lead to the elderly not being cared for. It's more complicated than that, but it feels like it should be a real concern as India westernizes.
I’ve been mulling over a similar idea in my head for a couple of weeks now and would love to get someone else’s opinion. Without placing any kind of a moral judgement on the lifestyle choices of others, sometimes I feel like a lot of the social problems the United States faces are exasperated by the small nuclear families that seem to predominate in the US. Large multigenerational families seem better equipped to weather financial insecurity and deal with members of the family that might struggle with mental health issues, both of which seem to play a pivotal role in homelessness and food insecurity. Additionally, there seems to be a general sense of anxiety for young people in the States and while I don’t have any evidence to back up this hypothesis, I think that it might be because millennials tend to be less socialized than older generations. If humans evolved to exist in tight nit tribes, it would make sense that the relative solitude of modern life would breed a sense of malaise.
Obviously most of this post is conjecture but I appreciate any thoughts you might offer on the topic.
Re: A Generation in Japan Is Facing a Lonely Death
#85I thinks its do or die time for me to have kids. postponed it too long. I don't want to die alone, old age is loooong. Reading this article and watching this random video put me in high key stress mode. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0Zxvr2NjDA&feature=youtu.be...
While it should not be the ONLY reason to have children, I think your sentiments are normal and healthy. Human affection can grow, even if from less than noble beginnings. It's easy for men to keep putting it off. As someone who was not opposed to having kids but could have easily been in your shoes because life before kids is just much more comfortable and familiar, I fully relate. My wife gave me the extra push I needed to make the leap. I will not sugar-coat it: having kids is difficult, and the worst part is the disruption to your sleep and mental exhaustion from being "on alert" to protect the new fragile being. All your life plans have to account for this new dependent. If you are a social butterfly/partier (I am not) or liked to spend a lot of unbroken time in side projects (that was me), it will hit harder. I am just about at the 1 year mark though, and I can also say that I do not regret it. Yes, there are things I miss, but it was definitely the right decision. As time went on, I adapted and started doing things again, and I would expect to regain more time as my child ages. Picking the right wife is really the decision you have to worry about, IMHO.
Re: A Generation in Japan Is Facing a Lonely Death
#86That was incredibly painful to read.
Re: A Generation in Japan Is Facing a Lonely Death
#87I think I tend towards the Aubrey de Grey point of view on this- it's not necessarily anything anyone is doing wrong here, it's more that these folks are living in dying bodies that can't do what they want them to do. If they were suddenly young again- they could go out, make new connections, start over. With that said, I do see the point that this is a western/capitalist phenomenon in the sense that capitalism encou…
No one ever says "I wished I worked more" from their deathbed.
Prioritizing money and status ahead of family and friends is a personal decision. Business and personal success can coexist in capitalism but many people choose the former over the latter and assume they are mutually exclusive. I made that choice out of college and it took me until my mid 30's to realize it. It's really hard to re-learn how to go the other way, and I imagine it's even harder for someone who operates that way their whole adult life into retirement.
Re: A Generation in Japan Is Facing a Lonely Death
#88I thinks its do or die time for me to have kids. postponed it too long. I don't want to die alone, old age is loooong. Reading this article and watching this random video put me in high key stress mode. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0Zxvr2NjDA&feature=youtu.be...
That’s a terrible reason. Add : bringing in a fully autonomous individual motivated by the hope+belief+expectation that they will be there when you grow old? Small chance, considering that the human trait which they need to be subscribed to is empathy, self-lessness and family. A lot of which will be learnt from their own parents. Namely you.
Human motivation is complicated and subject to change. His expectations would be problematic if he were to maintain them throughout his entire fatherhood, but are not an uncommon or malicious place to cultivate a desire for children. (I am assuming male.)
Re: A Generation in Japan Is Facing a Lonely Death
#89Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think it might come back to haunt the butterfly generation, where it's fun to fly off round the world. But then you rarely create connections that are deep enough to stay with you til your death bed.
What exactly is the butterfly generation? I have never heard this term before. Are you referring to the book "The Butterfly Generation" by Palash Krishna Mehrotra and if so does this term have a distinctly Indian meaning or does it apply to people from other countries as well? Thanks for satisfying my curiosity! https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13432312-the-butterfly-g...
The butterfly generation term that I knew was from when I started work in London around 2000. [0]
> 'Engaging the Butterfly Generation', the generation of kids that just won't settle, anywhere!
I took it to indicate a generation of teenagers / university graduates that grew up being able to use the benefits of globalisation and to flit from one job or country to the next with ease.
[0]: http://www.c21media.net/conference-event/c21-kids-content-fu...
Re: A Generation in Japan Is Facing a Lonely Death
#90Earlier quoted context omitted.
I just wanted to say you’re doing an awesome job by making them feel included as family, and that you’re a good person for making the effort. To those reading this, make the time and effort now. Life is a long time to have regrets about what you wish you had done. My grandmother lives in a retirement community and 9 times out of 10, families never come to visit the people she knows in her circles. The photos are perf…
Thanks! NanaGram’s made a big difference for them and I’m glad we gave up nights/weeekends to build it. The photos also give us more stuff to talk about during visits. One other interesting unanticipated side effect is that we built the service to let your (approved) family all send photos into the same phone number for the same delivery. There’s a web UI that you can log into and see all the photos. You also get a t…
Do you have offline advertising of NanaGram in retirement communities? That seems like a great way to reach more customers. Get "Nana" and the retirement community staff to market your product for you. :)
Another idea: if the photo has any date/time or location metadata, you could print that on the photo so the recipient has more information about the photos when they look at them later.