Earlier quoted context omitted.
Thanks for the pointer. I wasn't happy with my phrasing. I should have just referenced a dictionary. MW's sense d is what I intended to convey: > "a person with whom one shares an intimate relationship : one member of a couple" https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/partner
I use that term because its gender neutral and relationship neutral. I find it irrelevant to a discussion whether we are married or not, or a member of the LGBT community or not. However I don't hide my gender or my partner's gender (ie. I use he and she forms due to practical reasons).
One can use "spouse" or "significant other" to avoid the perception of being passive-aggressive.