131–140 of 147 posts
Steve Jobs would sometimes answer to customer support calls. This was in order to understand the customer, their frustrations, and how to work through them with a better product.
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> And the brain mode for 'developer' is VERY different from the brain mode for 'support agent'. This is something I can have trouble with even personally. I have noticed that when I get home from a long day of cold, analytical problem-solving, I mbrain bad at shifting my brain to empathetically listen and provide emotional support for my wifes problems.
The daily transition from work to home is difficult for many couples and this problem has existed since forever, but it has _nothing_ to do with "being analytical" at work and then having to "be empathetic" at home. It doesn't matter what your job is or if you're a husband or a wife, there's a period of time after coming home from work that is beset with opportunities for arguments. Lots of people experience this, no…
Intuitively that just doesn't make sense. It's just implausible that 8 hours of sitting at a computer and solving data pipeline problems puts someone in the same mindset as someone would have after 8 hours of performing therapy.
When I first moved to management, I was working on a very tough problem and I became tougher: more assertive and conclusive. It spilled over into my personal life and I was abrupt and unkind with someone who was very nice to me and I ruined the relationship.
Only the weak and undisciplined would say "I have to be this way because of my job" when it spills into their personal life. But to some degree, the professional becomes the personal for everyone and people who want to have successful relationship would do well to accommodate that.
I’m not disagreeing with it. I just think we’re at a point that we can stop saying this as if nobody thought of it before. It’s not a revelation in 2017.
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Hi there! Support manager here. I've been leading support teams for years, led support QA teams, built troubleshooting processes and worked very closely with dev teams. A lot of what I wanted to bring up doesn't apply so much to solo dev's, but I want to vouch for non-devs and anyone that might start working on team. Support brains and developer brains are actually not that different. I see on HN way too often that d…
"At the end of the day, just know that we're all people on one team (albeit with very different daily responsibilities). Respect each other's time and needs, and the rest will fall into place." I do a lot of helpdesk. I've found out most of the time there is a huge difference in information availability between support desk and the rest of the company. Support people spend a ton of time and frustration finding out wh…
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It took me a long time to get this right too. I came across this amusing page and realized I wasn't a bad person, because there is a lot of truth to this. specifically, #39: http://showcase.netins.net/web/tash/rules/rules.html
This page is very silly, it basically says 'men get to do what they want when they want'. I like how the longest rule is about being 'single-minded', which is basically just an excuse for not taking part in all facets of your relationship. Here is another perspective which you may find equally dumb: https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/ Note that this comic is coming from a totally female perspe…
http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/men-women/boyfriend-50-upgra...
I prefer humor, but it's obviously not for everybody. Also theres a slightly different version of the one I posted above on this page, but I couldn't find a directly corresponding one for women's version. If you do please share- I'd like to forward it to my wife.
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It's a very accurate title. What would you prefer?
It used to end with "... and this is what what happened." I would prefer "...and it saved my business" or "...it made me quit." Even removing that clickbaity suffix makes me feel better.
"You'll never believe what happened" is clickbait. "This is what happened" is about on par with an extraneous comma.
Support person (at least for the last few years) here, context switching and the issues it creates is a real thing for other roles - not just developers. Everyone needs headphone DND time, both in and outside for the technology sector - it's called concentration time. A support agent at most tech companies will have to support multiple products in multiple languages and platforms and be ready to provide a useful resp…
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> "it has _nothing_ to do with "being analytical" at work and then having to "be empathetic" at home." [citation needed] I doubt you (or anyone, for that matter) can make such a claim with scientific rigor. You are responding to a statement of someone's personal experience - for them, it very well may have something to do with switching from an analytical, critical state to a more empathetic one.
For my part, I recognized after I got married that I was coming home and applying the same mental model I used at work in conversations with my wife: I was there exclusively to solve problems. My wife just wanted me to listen while she told me about her day. This definitely increased the surface area for arguments, because in my years I've found that generally, wives want you to shut up and listen and empathize with…
Doesn't mix and match well unless you consciously try to handle it differently.
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> "it has _nothing_ to do with "being analytical" at work and then having to "be empathetic" at home." [citation needed] I doubt you (or anyone, for that matter) can make such a claim with scientific rigor. You are responding to a statement of someone's personal experience - for them, it very well may have something to do with switching from an analytical, critical state to a more empathetic one.
For my part, I recognized after I got married that I was coming home and applying the same mental model I used at work in conversations with my wife: I was there exclusively to solve problems. My wife just wanted me to listen while she told me about her day. This definitely increased the surface area for arguments, because in my years I've found that generally, wives want you to shut up and listen and empathize with…
Yes. Totally this...just listen to her...turn off all that problem solving stuff and just look her in the eyes and keep your mouth shut, no matter what she is saying.
She is strong...she can solve her problems, but she needs you to hear her vent and offer emotional support.