My god this is just another universe to me. I've got 19 years on the clock doing stuff, right now extending the jenkins model to make a usable 2.0 pipeline, for a fortune 50 hiding on the new hampshire seacoast, senior-straddling-principal level and just barely squeaking out a 6 figure salary. I know it all comes out in the wash, but it just blows my mind how different money is across the country. or, i am a country…
There's a lot of security in your situation. Barely 6 figures, but unless you live in downtown Portsmouth or on Rye Beach, I bet you've made a nice dent in that mortgage. I know we have up here on the Maine coast, and I'm paying a 7% income tax that you aren't :) Plus, you're probably closer to being able to retire at a reasonable age than most!
That said, I'm strongly leaning toward an offer to move us to the Bay Area. Where I'd say you might think about it are with a few points: First, there's just a ton of opportunity in a relatively small radius, and salary aside for just a second, that does mean there's a potential to move around a bit and level up. Second, tied to the first, there's a little less risk if you happen to get caught in layoffs or whatever else. Up here, how many big companies are there? Good chance you and I work for 50% of them. In the Bay Area, if one company gives its staff the finger, there are plenty of other doors. Last is going to be specific to your situation, but if your housing cost doubles and so does your salary (which is very possible in SF with two decades experience), you come out ahead.
At the end of the day, though, if you have enough there comes a point where it's not worth chasing more just to have more. I'm not native to this area, but Northern New England (especially coastal) is an amazing and unique place to live. 10-15 years from now when my kid is grown up, this is where I want to be, even if I ultimately leave for a little while to provide a little more for my family.