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Why some men won't dance

bbc.co.uk

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Re: Why some men won't dance

#31

Post by freelode »

dgreensp wrote: post #24
aunty_helen wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Good point, perhaps it's because dance can be seen as a form of expression. To a greater extent, if someone refused to talk but had the ability to you would probably think something weird of them. But probably wouldn't question that from a social pressure perspective.

“I’m going to go to the middle of the room and improvise some poetry, just say whatever I’m moved to say in the moment, maybe riff on some motifs I’ve adopted or invented on previous such occasions. Want to stand next to me and do that too, at the same time? What? You don’t? Why not? Just be loose. Oh, some music is coming on. Just sing whatever pops into your head. Sing it confidently. No one’s listening.”

why some men won't rap battle.

Re: Why some men won't dance

#32

Post by barsonme »

goldesel wrote: post #30
tomjen3 wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>To be honest I never saw the appeal in this sort of activity. You can walk up to a girl, who in any other situation would smack you for it, ask her to dance and if she says yes (and she is likely to, unless you stink) touch her and spend several minutes close to her. I mean maybe you are super good looking, but if you are not and have a crush, dancing is a huge social hack. Plus as with everything that is challengin…

>You can walk up to a girl, who in any other situation would smack you for it, [...] touch her and spend several minutes close to her. Wow that sounds pathetic. Sorry but why would you want to do that? These minutes may be better spent socialising with someone without a princess complex. There are enough fish in the pond, no need to make a fool of yourself!

> Wow that sounds pathetic. Sorry but why would you want to do that?

Same reason people have been doing it for centuries—it's fun! I believe you may have read a bit too much into their comment :-)

Re: Why some men won't dance

#33

Post by b0rsuk »

eesmith wrote: post #28
b0rsuk wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Schizotypal / Schizoid and avoidant are currently much less studied than Asperger's Syndrome (which is becoming glamorous), depression, psychopathy, schizofrenia or bipolar. How do you know ? There are reasons to believe avoidant/schizotypal/schizoid can be related to childhood trauma. More than 0.01% have some kind of childhood trauma, and they mostly go undetected. Zampano from the movie "La Strada" just screams "S…

Is your argument that there is a strong connection between people who don't want to dance and people who are schizotypal/avoidant? Or are you no longer talking about reasons why a large percentage of the male population does not dance?

I never talked about why a large percentage of the male population does not dance. It was something you invented and put in my mouth. It was a failure of reading comprehension on your part, and you downvoted me for it. I demand an apology.

The article was: "Why some men won't dance". (Why some male animals have tails) My post was: "Men who are schizotypal/avoidant don't dance. Read about it to figure out if you are.". (Male cats have tails. Consider you might be a cat.) Your response was: "He's saying all men who don't dance are schizotypal/avoidant!" ("He's saying all male animals are cats!")

Re: Why some men won't dance

#34

Post by eesmith »

b0rsuk wrote: post #33
eesmith wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is your argument that there is a strong connection between people who don't want to dance and people who are schizotypal/avoidant? Or are you no longer talking about reasons why a large percentage of the male population does not dance?

I never talked about why a large percentage of the male population does not dance. It was something you invented and put in my mouth. It was a failure of reading comprehension on your part, and you downvoted me for it. I demand an apology. The article was: "Why some men won't dance". (Why some male animals have tails) My post was: "Men who are schizotypal/avoidant don't dance. Read about it to figure out if you are."…

"He's saying all men who don't dance are schizotypal/avoidant!"

I'm saying that I don't think your statement is diagnostic in any useful sense.

While that might be the reason why some (a perhaps small number) males don't dance, there are cultures where men do dance, and cultures where they do not, and these percentages are quite large.

As such there must a strong cultural effect on why male do/don't dance, with schizotypal/avoidant behavior a far smaller reason.

Re: Why some men won't dance

#35

Post by ionised »

I've never enjoyed dancing, I just don't get anything from it.

It was a source of frustration when I was younger too, as most of my friends would go on nights out and dance and I would be the one hanging out with the smokers and talking shite. If someone asked me to dance, I would ask if they would like to sit to talk for a bit.

Not that I haven' danced before, I have lots of times, trying to fit in. I'd do it for a song, maybe a little more, then I got bored and wanted to talk to somebody.

As I grew older I realised that 'nights out' that involved night clubs or anything were just not my thing. I much preferred to sit around a table at a pub with a load of friends and just chat shit. By that point I had stopped trying to 'fit in' and ended up less stressed about ohaving some social defect.

I must be missing the part of the brain that actually enjoys dancing, because even when I'm listening to music I love I always prefer to actually sit and listen to it intently rather than try to move to its rhythm.

Re: Why some men won't dance

#36

Post by ionised »

b0rsuk wrote: post #25
oceanghost wrote: post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How does it relate?

Dancing, singing and similar ways of expressing emotions are terrifying for schizotypal people. It can be an early warning. I'm using the opportunity to promote awareness. I've been diagnosed with a very similar disorder. For 30 years I used to think it's perfectly normal to lash out when someone speculates about your romantic relationships, suggests going to a party or dancing. I ended up alone, and not in the "sing…

There is a difference bing due to between not enjoying dancing and avoiding dancing due to anxiety or embarrassment.

The fact that your friends abandoned you because you didn't want to dance is something else entirely. They weren't really your friends. If they were, this wouldn't have happened.

I have friends that both love night clubs and friends that don't. Frequently the groups overlap and spend time together doing things they both enjoy. I can't imagine any of them cutting off contact with the others for such shallow reasons.

Point being, just because it was this way for you, doesn't mean it applies to everyone else. There are a multitude of reasons someone may not want to dance, and not all are due to disorders. That's a dangerous way to think.

Re: Why some men won't dance

#37

Post by gumby »

tomjen3 wrote: post #23
Tade0 wrote: post #5

To be honest I never saw the appeal in this sort of activity. What made it worse were people who insisted that I participate. Interesting how this is one of the very few things were social pressure is alive and well(as exemplified by the article, which fails to ask why should people dance in the first place).

>To be honest I never saw the appeal in this sort of activity. You can walk up to a girl, who in any other situation would smack you for it, ask her to dance and if she says yes (and she is likely to, unless you stink) touch her and spend several minutes close to her. I mean maybe you are super good looking, but if you are not and have a crush, dancing is a huge social hack. Plus as with everything that is challengin…

THis was down voted, but there's a significant amount of literature devoted to precisely this motivation and function from the perspectives of both men and women. E.g. it's a set piece of every Jane Austin novel.

Re: Why some men won't dance

#38

Post by inteleng »

b0rsuk wrote: post #26
inteleng wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Please don't post this sort of thing on a public forum.

Why ? Because you're going to bully me ?

No, it was just a test of the HN hivemind. They go nuts with the upvotes when people with all-lowercase usernames say authoritative things, like "please stop," etc.

On the other hand, you could have worded your comment a bit better so it didn't seem like you were accusing every reader of having schizotypal personality disorder.

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