This is an urban planning problem
Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed
191–200 of 230 posts
Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed
#192I believe that social media is a symptom, not the cause, of the great loneliness that our modern aloneness has caused. We are alone much of the time, especially in American suburbia. Even when we are in the city filled with people, these people are just blank faces whom we do not know. We are seeking any form of connection that we can get. And when the only connection to others that we have is through the computer, w…
Teenagers have always felt a need to connect with others. Social media allows you to think you are fulfilling it without actually engaging with other people. When I was that age, I had to get up and go out. And I spent time with lots of other teenagers, which also taught me to figure out who I liked and didn't, what I liked to do, and what I did not. FWIW, when my grandpa was that age, living on a farm, he'd hitchhik…
What definition of “engaging” are you using that disclaims entire classes of communications technology?
Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed
#193Earlier quoted context omitted.
Thank you, I appreciate your ears. I have been trying to get her into couples counseling or even just individual counseling for over a year. She just never makes it happen. I started counseling individually 2 months ago. She came to 1 session, I booked her a follow up, but she cancelled it. She has theoretically agreed to couple counseling in the past, but now couldn’t be bothered. She thinks her IG friends are her c…
When you read this article, what do you think? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency
Oh yeah. I think I have continued to let her act this way because being with her, being married, our family, has all been such a huge part of my identity...but that's not a bad thing to me. I guess then it must be my responsibility if I actually care about her to leave her, so she can overcome her own stuff. Which is where I'm currently at...it just fucking sucks.
Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed
#194Earlier quoted context omitted.
>their success in this society will rely on using and stepping on others who will now have less as a result That reflects a fundamental misunderstanding of economics. While there are indeed predatory business models where this is true - casinos etc. - most highly successful people and businesses become successful by creating value, not siphoning it from others.
Highly successful businesses like Apple, which are closely related to Foxconn and the horrors of labor there. That we know many elements that go into our technology may be sourced from dubious environments, unsafe working conditions, potentially human rights violations and war. That’s what he meant when I asked him. By consuming anything in the system one is contributing to the systems oppression internationally, and…
Foxconn and the horrors of labor there
Would you prefer that they starve to death because they have no work? I assure you, that's worse than working at Foxconn.
Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed
#195Earlier quoted context omitted.
No, we haven’t gone to court, no alimony or payments - luckily she wants to avoid it because her parents had a very messy divorce in her childhood. I pay for her because honestly I’m scared of the lifestyle my child will live. She doesn’t work. She makes no money. She would be on the streets honestly. Doesn’t speak to either of her parents. I recently emptied our joint bank account save $100. She flipped. Every time…
There's a point of view that says it's easier to 'control' finances while you're married then when you're divorced. One possibly good outcome is she has no access to your finances and you stay married. That way no court orders you to do anything. Definitely recommend spend $1k with a divorce attorney to see your options. If she'd be on the streets, that's her choice. Give her an ultimatum and let her live with the co…
That's what my current goal is, granted I haven't spoken to a lawyer yet which I will now. I truly believe she will never go through a court or even try to get a divorce. She doesn't "believe" in legal matters.
Thanks for the advice. Going to seek those options.
Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed
#196Comparatives are too easy to draw these days because of social media. Everyone has an image of the most popular/successful person in their face all the time. It's hard not to compare yourself! And when you fall short in comparison, it makes you feel unhappy. Then it makes you feel like you need some moonshot idea to elevate your standards - that puts pressure on you and invariably drives anxiety. I see growing levels…
I still don't see how comparing to success causes unhappiness. This theory is too convenient and is spreading like a disease. When you see someone who is popular and successful, the normal and healthy response is admiration and inspiration. If you fail to have your own wins of some kind, then this could be the source of unhappiness, but that is because you didn't have a win, not because others did.
The problem is, you are seeing people in completely different environments, some of which are infeasible for you to attain. Its worth noting, the issues related to income inequality are due to relative inequality, not absolute.
Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed
#197Earlier quoted context omitted.
Can you expand on this? I don't really understand how x lead to y as i don't have much idea about social media addiction at all or its effects.
We moved to a new city. I work full time (from home) as a SWE. She is a stay at home mom. She met new people on IG in our new city, made friends. I thought it was great. My wife has a hole deep inside her from years of childhood abuse. She has no career, is early 20s like myself, and has yet to figure herself out. As the months went by, she filled that hole more and more with her connections on IG and less with our f…
I highly recommend reading "The Rational Male" (book). Besides other valuable insights it will give you a good understanding of what you describe here as "groupthink" and "secret pact".
Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed
#198Earlier quoted context omitted.
When you read this article, what do you think? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency
Oh yeah. I think I have continued to let her act this way because being with her, being married, our family, has all been such a huge part of my identity...but that's not a bad thing to me. I guess then it must be my responsibility if I actually care about her to leave her, so she can overcome her own stuff. Which is where I'm currently at...it just fucking sucks.
It does just fucking suck. And I’m very sorry that you have to go through this. The hardest part of love and relationships being vulnerable and knowing that sometimes it doesn’t work out. You guys have a kid together, and that’s more important than anything. Take care of your kid and take care of yourself. She’s chosen not to take care of you.
Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed
#199Earlier quoted context omitted.
There's a point of view that says it's easier to 'control' finances while you're married then when you're divorced. One possibly good outcome is she has no access to your finances and you stay married. That way no court orders you to do anything. Definitely recommend spend $1k with a divorce attorney to see your options. If she'd be on the streets, that's her choice. Give her an ultimatum and let her live with the co…
That's what my current goal is, granted I haven't spoken to a lawyer yet which I will now. I truly believe she will never go through a court or even try to get a divorce. She doesn't "believe" in legal matters. Thanks for the advice. Going to seek those options.
From what you’ve described, she’s easily impressionable. I suspect her hippie commune followers will encourage her and sway her opinion to go see a lawyer. Especially when you cut off financial support.
Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed
#200Earlier quoted context omitted.
Can you expand on this? I don't really understand how x lead to y as i don't have much idea about social media addiction at all or its effects.
We moved to a new city. I work full time (from home) as a SWE. She is a stay at home mom. She met new people on IG in our new city, made friends. I thought it was great. My wife has a hole deep inside her from years of childhood abuse. She has no career, is early 20s like myself, and has yet to figure herself out. As the months went by, she filled that hole more and more with her connections on IG and less with our f…
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