Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed

economist.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

31–40 of 230 posts

Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed

#31

Post by poisonarena »

throwaway413 wrote: post #16
PuffinBlue wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can you expand on this? I don't really understand how x lead to y as i don't have much idea about social media addiction at all or its effects.

We moved to a new city. I work full time (from home) as a SWE. She is a stay at home mom. She met new people on IG in our new city, made friends. I thought it was great. My wife has a hole deep inside her from years of childhood abuse. She has no career, is early 20s like myself, and has yet to figure herself out. As the months went by, she filled that hole more and more with her connections on IG and less with our f…

damn.. Wow, well not as serious as your story..But I attribute my last relationship failure to IG as well.. Im not a big IG guy but my girlfriend was a model and had thousands of followers and it really became too much for me.. Constantly on the phone, messages/long correspondences and exchanges with random guys in different cities. Can also really relate to the 'groupthink' and 'woke' account passive education through various tumblr shitposting.. I used to tell her that it made me uncomfortable the way she spoke with other men via IG and she would just get all upset saying I was jealous, and the reason I was jealous because I was sexist. Anyway, I finally just walked away, but was very stressful. I don't know if it was IG or just her being shitty and IG was simply a vector for her to be shitty.

Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed

#32

Post by raverbashing »

throwaway413 wrote: post #16
PuffinBlue wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can you expand on this? I don't really understand how x lead to y as i don't have much idea about social media addiction at all or its effects.

We moved to a new city. I work full time (from home) as a SWE. She is a stay at home mom. She met new people on IG in our new city, made friends. I thought it was great. My wife has a hole deep inside her from years of childhood abuse. She has no career, is early 20s like myself, and has yet to figure herself out. As the months went by, she filled that hole more and more with her connections on IG and less with our f…

Sounds like they were just bored and the relationship wasn't working out

"Early 20s" seems to be the major problem here. Not everybody wants to settle down at this age

Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed

#33

Post by amriksohata »

Don't forget the effect modern day food with all the added estrogen in diary, antibiotics given to animals, pesticides, added sugar and palm oils all now in their gut, mix in less sleep and social media and no wonder their moods are screwed. You are what you eat.

Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed

#34

Post by ZenoArrow »

0xBA5ED wrote: post #13
hacker_9 wrote: post #8

I'd say this is more a problem with human nature, that social media is just exposing at a whole new level. It's basic biology to want to be the best, in order to attract the best mate etc. Social media has blown open a world where not only is there always someone better, more attractive, more fun, more social-able etc than you but also that the levels these people reach will always be unobtainable for you.

This is how I feel about all the people on HN who are vastly smarter than me.

The thing is, if you're going to compare yourself to others (which is something I'd recommend keeping to a minimum), it's easy enough to find someone who is more knowledgeable about something than you, but if you treat it as an opportunity to learn more then there's no downsides. Also, it's unlikely you'll find many people who are more knowledgeable than you on everything you know something about. Our own experience leads to different specialisations. I don't know your background, but I'm sure there are some things you have more knowledge about than me, and some things I have more knowledge about than you. If you only see someone as smarter you're only seeing part of the picture.

Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed

#35

Post by Al-Khwarizmi »

throwaway413 wrote: post #16
PuffinBlue wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can you expand on this? I don't really understand how x lead to y as i don't have much idea about social media addiction at all or its effects.

We moved to a new city. I work full time (from home) as a SWE. She is a stay at home mom. She met new people on IG in our new city, made friends. I thought it was great. My wife has a hole deep inside her from years of childhood abuse. She has no career, is early 20s like myself, and has yet to figure herself out. As the months went by, she filled that hole more and more with her connections on IG and less with our f…

Wow. This is a really sad story. I'm really sorry for you and hope you can get over this and find a better partner.

Are you forced by the courts to pay her that $4K+/month? Because it would probably be better (not only for you, which is obvious, but for her) if you didn't.

Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed

#37

Post by throwaway413 »

raverbashing wrote: post #32
throwaway413 wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We moved to a new city. I work full time (from home) as a SWE. She is a stay at home mom. She met new people on IG in our new city, made friends. I thought it was great. My wife has a hole deep inside her from years of childhood abuse. She has no career, is early 20s like myself, and has yet to figure herself out. As the months went by, she filled that hole more and more with her connections on IG and less with our f…

Sounds like they were just bored and the relationship wasn't working out "Early 20s" seems to be the major problem here. Not everybody wants to settle down at this age

Which I could say there’s more to it than that but yeah...pretty much.

Except if she wasn’t sure she didn’t want to settle down...she shouldn’t have. We didn’t have kids until after we were married. And even still I’m younger than her and I prefer being “settled down” or whatever you want to call it. She betrayed the commitment we had without ending it first. She tried to have her cake and eat it too.

Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed

#38

Post by throwaway413 »

friendly_chap wrote: post #27
throwaway413 wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We moved to a new city. I work full time (from home) as a SWE. She is a stay at home mom. She met new people on IG in our new city, made friends. I thought it was great. My wife has a hole deep inside her from years of childhood abuse. She has no career, is early 20s like myself, and has yet to figure herself out. As the months went by, she filled that hole more and more with her connections on IG and less with our f…

That's a really sad story but not unusual or rare at all. Send me an email (it's on my profile) and I will send you a couple of materials to help you cope with that kind of life situation. Stay strong.

Thank you.

And agreed. Makes me wonder how many are struggling out there with something similar. Tons I’m sure. Not only on a romantic level, but in all types of friendships and relationships. Social media is not helping our shallow human tendencies.

Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed

#39

Post by throwaway413 »

PuffinBlue wrote: post #26
throwaway413 wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We moved to a new city. I work full time (from home) as a SWE. She is a stay at home mom. She met new people on IG in our new city, made friends. I thought it was great. My wife has a hole deep inside her from years of childhood abuse. She has no career, is early 20s like myself, and has yet to figure herself out. As the months went by, she filled that hole more and more with her connections on IG and less with our f…

I'm sorry this has happened. I hope you find a way through it for yourself.

Thank you. Appreciate your ears.

Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed

#40

Post by PakG1 »

throwaway413 wrote: post #16
PuffinBlue wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can you expand on this? I don't really understand how x lead to y as i don't have much idea about social media addiction at all or its effects.

We moved to a new city. I work full time (from home) as a SWE. She is a stay at home mom. She met new people on IG in our new city, made friends. I thought it was great. My wife has a hole deep inside her from years of childhood abuse. She has no career, is early 20s like myself, and has yet to figure herself out. As the months went by, she filled that hole more and more with her connections on IG and less with our f…

Feel for you. Can't imagine what to do in that situation. Can totally imagine how social media enabled a lot of that. I'm in a similar situation where my wife joined me in China because my job is over here. She's making a go of it focusing on studying and learning the language at the local university. She's really focused hard, all I ever see her do is study. So far she's happy, but sometimes I worry that she'll become unhappy. We're on the lookout for opportunities to develop healthy relationships with other people so that we're not alone (especially her, as she's new in this country).

Think it's really important to get involved in a local community where you can forge high-quality long-term relationships with emotionally healthy people whenever you move to a new place. Loneliness can kill you otherwise. For me, it'd usually be a church where I can focus on developing myself personally and spiritually, as well as bonds with others in a really non-judgmental environment. Realize that's not for everyone, and that many people actually experience church to be a very judgmental place. Sorry to anyone who's been through that.

Sounds like you're still supporting her financially. Don't know if you're hoping to get her back, or if you've given up and cut her loose. It's possible that the only thing you can do is cut her loose at this point because you're only acting as an enabler. I am not a psychologist. Wish you well. edit: realize from the other comments, maybe alimony is involved. If so, very sorry to hear. IANAL, but that sounds like a really raw deal where you should consult a lawyer, if that's the case?

Post reply on HN