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Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

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Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#41
The change has to come within you. Drink was a problem to both of my parents. I'm not saying it's wrong to drink. We are only a brief period in this world of pain, and generally, what you find pleasing, go for it. The problem with drink is, it may take you, and the medical complications can be horrific. I don't really care for horror movies - they are lame, after having to consider the fates of two close relatives.

My father drank about as much as you, and he nearly died of liver chirrosis. Which would have been extremely painfull. He died later, after not drinking so much, of heart failure. The medical examination showed he had escaped chirrosis by an inch.

My mother drank way more than that. Eventually her state deteriorated, she went to a psychosis and she soon died. Only after death we discovered she had had pancreatic cancer. So it was good thing, in a way, she passed quickly, not prolonging her agony. Because death by pancreatic cancer is a really painfull way to go. See a pattern? She started soiling her sheets soon before the psychosis. And, her last month she mostly could not communicate, as as far as I can tell, she trembled in fear in her bed.

Was the fear because of psychosis? Or had the hospital staff maltreated her, because, you know, she was just a psychotic fragile drunk? I will never know. She was 66 when she died.

As I understand she took to drink in a major way in her late twenties, and never gave up. She became depressed and lost her job, and drank more.

Some people drink to their grave in the nineties, and stay seemingly healthy, so, it's a game of chance.

Look up alcohilism and it's complications. The bad thing about most of them, is that they creep in, and when they are obvious, it's likely too late to do anything and it's a slide to body horror land and gruesome death.

I know scaring people doesn't work, but at least you have some concept of the odds you are dealing with.

Take care, man.

Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#42
For me, as an adult child of a now deceased alcoholic mother, the headline on this article plays down the findings detailed further down. If you're drinking every night in front of your kids, to my mind that is affecting them, whether you care to acknowledge it or not. So I would say it's great you acknowledge it is a problem and should address it. I think wine is a particularly insidious problem in many places as people see it is going along with food, which is fine in terms of a single glass say, not a bottle an evening. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-41665460

Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#43
post #26
post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Alcoholism isn't defined in terms of how much you drink, but how much control you have over your drinking. If OP thinks he has a problem with drinking too much then probably he does have a problem.

OP was able to run an experiment, running when drinking or not drinking for a period. Half to a full bottle isn't even excessive quantity, it's more the frequency that makes it 'a lot'. OP sounds in perfect control to me. Perhaps use the running as motivation to cut back a bit - aim for doing a particular race that's a bit of a stretch.

Depends how you define excessive. For example, the current UK recommendation[1] is a maximum of 14 ‘units’ a week. An average bottle of wine is something like 9 units depending on ABV strength, so 5 evenings a week of 3/4s of a bottle of wine works out at 33.75 units, or 2.4 times the recommended maximum.

[1] https://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/alcohol/Pages/alcohol-units.aspx

Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#44
Alcoholism is a very serious but very treatable disorder. If you suspect you might be developing alcoholism there is no shame in seeking advice from a medical professional. It doesn't sound like you have a problem with your drinking but having a professional diagnose if this can turn into a problem is a good precaution if you suspect you might get sick.

A common myth about alcoholism is that it is a personality trait, and people who are alcoholics will always be one. This is incorrect. It is a disorder that one develops and is treatable. If untreated one can be sick for the rest of ones life. The consequences can be severe, including the loss of your job and even your family.

As said before, it doesn't sound like you are terribly sick. A good thing to know is that you are not alone. Many people have this disorder and are actively seeking help. As with other disorders, a professional opinion is always better then self diagnostic.

Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#45
Not even sure if you would qualify as alcoholic. Afaik, it is quite common in many countries to have wine with a meal, so there must be many people who drink as much as you...

At the same time, it is a good idea to question your habits... I found this "am I an alcoholic?" test, which may be useful: https://www.ncadd.org/get-help/take-the-test/am-i-alcoholic-...

Finally, the UK has a big problem with drinking, so there's plenty of good resources here... See e.g. https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/alcohol-facts/health-effects-of...

Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#46
Well, F. A throw away because this speaks more than is should to me.

2 kids, wife, xVP eng job in major public company. 1.5x bottle of whiskey a week, plus additional beers and wines. Maybe not crazy, but a dependency for sure. Looking forward to getting home for a diet and double bourbon, putting the kids to bed and then onto more interesting drinks is a lot of mon-fri is nota great look or feel. I see it, but have not changed it for 8+ months.

The pressure I feel that drives this is from many angles - job transitioning from a small company to a large public in the last year (acquisition) and issues that come from our new parent company not understanding how to merge the 2; high pressure to deliver on acquisition expectations (and escrow the entire company is held to / huge pressure on me to sustain this for us all); general life stress of school searches (big city problem...); lack of "next step" and somewhat bored nature of my day to day.

I'm for sure a natural addict - 3 years of daily heavy weed consumption whilst in a similar tech job (but as junior monkey) and xbox issues in the past. If I don't decompress, I can't find the motivation to continue - that is pretty high for the last 14 years based on constant dollar carrots. If not for 25k a year school fees for 2x kids, I might be more relaxed on this, but its worse than a mortgage!

For the op, I have managed to launch a few side projects during this. A kickstarter with a friend that hit its goals and shipped on time one of the more surprising issues. However, I'm not able to move into something more meaningful (aka new startup) under the booze umbrella - I feel a motivation is needed here that is essentially a "co-founder" vs any drinking epiphany and then all will balance out again.

An anonymous website showing what people drink nightly would not help here, just reinforce. Some kind of anonymous ledger demonstrating lifespan longevity or liver state of health would be great.

Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#48

Alcoholism is a very serious but very treatable disorder. If you suspect you might be developing alcoholism there is no shame in seeking advice from a medical professional. It doesn't sound like you have a problem with your drinking but having a professional diagnose if this can turn into a problem is a good precaution if you suspect you might get sick. A common myth about alcoholism is that it is a personality trait…

"A common myth about alcoholism is that it is a personality trait, and people who are alcoholics will always be one." There are people who are biologically predisposed to alcoholism.

Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#49
post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would like to second the "think of the children" argument. My father drank a similar amount and also said "(which is not that much, certainly I got used to it, so it doesn't put me in the drunk mode neither)". But he was irritable when he drank, and I remember playing a game where I'd come up and talk to him, and then run away laughing as he chased after me and knocked into the furniture. It is easy to think you're…

Half bottle of wine is unlikely to make him hit furniture.

"I'm drinking on average 5 evenings per week, between half and a full bottle of wine" would a full bottle of wine be enough? Doesn't it vary based on weight and alcohol tolerance?

Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#50

Not even sure if you would qualify as alcoholic. Afaik, it is quite common in many countries to have wine with a meal, so there must be many people who drink as much as you... At the same time, it is a good idea to question your habits... I found this "am I an alcoholic?" test, which may be useful: https://www.ncadd.org/get-help/take-the-test/am-i-alcoholic-... Finally, the UK has a big problem with drinking, so ther…

There is a simpler test: If you have to ask, the answer is probably yes.
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