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Ask HN: I'm lonely. Are there any video chat support groups for solo founders?

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Re: Ask HN: I'm lonely. Are there any video chat support groups for solo founders?

#131

Post by austinjp »

chrisper wrote: post #128
austinjp wrote: post #127

In addition to the suggestions about sitting in cafes, I'd suggest you look at places like museums and art galleries. In the UK at least, many have members' rooms. An annual membership plus guest might be in the region of £100-200. Beyond the benefits people have listed with cafes, your money will be going to a good place. Shop around. Some places are great, and with the +1 membership you can even invite a business p…

And what do you do when sitting in cafes? In Switzerland it seems kind of a taboo to just talk up random strangers... The one thing I miss from the US.

Actually in the gallery/museum setting I mention I have talked with plenty of strangers. Maybe that's just me. There is no doubt an air of "who the hell are you?" sometimes but it passes with friendly chat. Plenty of people at the surrounding tables are running small IT or creative startups, it turns out.

Re: Ask HN: I'm lonely. Are there any video chat support groups for solo founders?

#132

Post by ci5er »

Eupolemos wrote: post #120
ci5er wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I get up at 5am every day to go to Starbucks at 6am every day. The "stillness buzz" of my apartment bugs me. I go to Starbucks and ignore everyone - but I still feel part of the mix. I could, you know, go to the office, but everone interrupts me there. It's not lonely, but unproductive. The trick is to be productive, but to feel like a human in the mix. For me, Starbucks does that.

For those bothered by silence but also - at times - annoyed by music: https://coffitivity.com/ Some kind of optimized noise is a weird concept, but I've found that it really works, from time to time. Especially if I'm doing something that requires a great deal of concentration rather than just "production".

Thanks!

Re: Ask HN: I'm lonely. Are there any video chat support groups for solo founders?

#133

Post by rdslw »

songzme wrote: post #42

Personally, whenever I feel lonely I would go volunteer and help people. It makes you feel connected and really puts things into perspective (like, even if your startup doesn't do well, you would still be surrounded by people who enjoys you as a person). Every Saturday, my wife and I volunteer at our local library (northside branch in santa clara) to teach people how to code. We've been doing that for almost a year w…

I trust you're doing for the good, yet it reminded me a story I heard some time ago.

Story went like that: I'm a gold miner. Gold mining is cool, everybody wants to gold mine. So I'll teach you FOR FREE how to gold mine, but during first year I offer you to gold mine for me at minimum wage. It's a shity goldmining you're doing, as you're newbie, so that excuses minimum wage, right? And I'm doing teaching for "free", right? There were hundreds I trained to goldmine and they didnt accept my WORK (sacred word) offer. They didnt also goldmine afterwards. I call it free service and in addition for my goldmining minions get 'feeling good' from it. Others call it sieve just to find enough 'wanna be gold miner' newbies.

Re: Ask HN: I'm lonely. Are there any video chat support groups for solo founders?

#134

Post by nilsocket »

I always want to be alone, but sometimes I fear, I may end up really being alone my whole life. (I.e., I may never be able to find a partner myself.)

I like to talk with someone who has a good character, and probably I prefer a CS partner.

I love to have perfection in many things, I don't want to do, anything stupid with my life-partner. This perfection of mine may lead to something bad.

Re: Ask HN: I'm lonely. Are there any video chat support groups for solo founders?

#135

Post by herbst »

cylinder wrote: post #51
Waterluvian wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

And with one comment on Hacker News I think I understand why people do work at Starbucks. Not sure why that never dawned on me.

So all those people sitting there because they're lonely and want to be around other people ... But they never talk to one another. Weird.

For me personally it is just about beeing under people. I would hate if people think this invites them to talk

Re: Ask HN: I'm lonely. Are there any video chat support groups for solo founders?

#136

Post by Blazespinnaker »

songzme wrote: post #42

Personally, whenever I feel lonely I would go volunteer and help people. It makes you feel connected and really puts things into perspective (like, even if your startup doesn't do well, you would still be surrounded by people who enjoys you as a person). Every Saturday, my wife and I volunteer at our local library (northside branch in santa clara) to teach people how to code. We've been doing that for almost a year w…

Agreed, volunteer! That’s the best way by far to combat loneliness.

That being said a founder support group is an awesome thing. I really want to go to a VR one if such exists.

Re: Ask HN: I'm lonely. Are there any video chat support groups for solo founders?

#137

Post by dennis_jeeves »

Digressing a bit: It's very lonely at the 'top' is a phrase I have heard decades back. You are not alone.

Any person who takes on tasks where there is high degree of uncertainty will feel lonely because the vast majority of people around you do not do that or even have the mindset to do that. In short even if you were surrounded by a lot of caring people, you may not be able to relate to them. I think you will get substantial mileage if the support group is trying to solve a similar problem as your are, but you may not, if their domain of work is significantly different than yours.

Re: Ask HN: I'm lonely. Are there any video chat support groups for solo founders?

#138

Post by rm_-rf_slash »

rdslw wrote: post #133
songzme wrote: post #42

Personally, whenever I feel lonely I would go volunteer and help people. It makes you feel connected and really puts things into perspective (like, even if your startup doesn't do well, you would still be surrounded by people who enjoys you as a person). Every Saturday, my wife and I volunteer at our local library (northside branch in santa clara) to teach people how to code. We've been doing that for almost a year w…

I trust you're doing for the good, yet it reminded me a story I heard some time ago. Story went like that: I'm a gold miner. Gold mining is cool, everybody wants to gold mine. So I'll teach you FOR FREE how to gold mine, but during first year I offer you to gold mine for me at minimum wage. It's a shity goldmining you're doing, as you're newbie, so that excuses minimum wage, right? And I'm doing teaching for "free",…

Plenty of people pay lots of money to learn how to code. If someone is being paid to learn and work, isn’t that a pretty good deal?

Re: Ask HN: I'm lonely. Are there any video chat support groups for solo founders?

#139

Post by erikbye »

Eupolemos wrote: post #120
ci5er wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I get up at 5am every day to go to Starbucks at 6am every day. The "stillness buzz" of my apartment bugs me. I go to Starbucks and ignore everyone - but I still feel part of the mix. I could, you know, go to the office, but everone interrupts me there. It's not lonely, but unproductive. The trick is to be productive, but to feel like a human in the mix. For me, Starbucks does that.

For those bothered by silence but also - at times - annoyed by music: https://coffitivity.com/ Some kind of optimized noise is a weird concept, but I've found that it really works, from time to time. Especially if I'm doing something that requires a great deal of concentration rather than just "production".

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=ambient+noise

https://www.noisli.com/

Re: Ask HN: I'm lonely. Are there any video chat support groups for solo founders?

#140

Post by linkmotif »

telesilla wrote: post #84
mjwhansen wrote: post #18

Thank you for posting this. I've five weeks into working for myself and avoiding loneliness has become a key task for me every day. I wouldn't say I'm succeeding at it, to be honest. I know I could join a coworking space but I question whether it's worth $400+ a month when I wouldn't be able to attend the networking events since I have a family and need to be home at night. (And I don't need meeting space, and have a…

For everyone commenting on going to a café every day, you'll end up spending the $400 on coffee, cakes whathaveyou and you won't have the guarantee of a quiet, thoughtful space when you need it. I needed some company some time ago and found a co-working space that I treated like a café - the coffee included, I brought my own lunch, and even though I'm not particularly sociable it was still much, much healthier than w…

This logic led me to join WeWork for a while and it was quite horrible. It was loud and WeWork didn’t care. Seemed like they need to provide a place for your average person, which makes sense, but that average person is a sale/marketing/design type who won’t be bothered by noise. Not a good option for people trying to focus. Not to mention the coffee type never changed.
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