I recently had a baby, and the self-realization that I am a jerk became very clear when I thought about the world. Let me explain: From a young age, growing up in Queens, I quickly learned the value of being a jerk/asshole as a deterrent for getting "jumped" for my jacket/sneakers. The idea was: kids mugging other kids would go for easy targets. Even an inkling of belief that someone would put up a fight was a disinc…
How to Tell If You’re a Jerk
11–20 of 58 posts
Re: How to Tell If You’re a Jerk
#12I recently had a baby, and the self-realization that I am a jerk became very clear when I thought about the world. Let me explain: From a young age, growing up in Queens, I quickly learned the value of being a jerk/asshole as a deterrent for getting "jumped" for my jacket/sneakers. The idea was: kids mugging other kids would go for easy targets. Even an inkling of belief that someone would put up a fight was a disinc…
Just from the examples given, it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong... I like to take Teddy Roosevelt's mantra to heart; walk softly and carry a big stick. You can bend and bend and bend, and nobody will appreciate it - they just get all upset and pissy when you put your foot down and draw the line.
Probably I'm a jerk.
Re: How to Tell If You’re a Jerk
#13Depending on who you talk to I am either unreadable, a jerk, a creep, insanely nice, demanding, nit-picky, angry, obsessive, or one of a myriad other things. I think it's definitely possible to be a well liked jerk.
And perhaps, manic.
Re: How to Tell If You’re a Jerk
#14Looks like they just re-published their article from a year ago: http://nautil.us/issue/40/learning/how-to-tell-if-youre-a-je...
Re: How to Tell If You’re a Jerk
#15I recently had a baby, and the self-realization that I am a jerk became very clear when I thought about the world. Let me explain: From a young age, growing up in Queens, I quickly learned the value of being a jerk/asshole as a deterrent for getting "jumped" for my jacket/sneakers. The idea was: kids mugging other kids would go for easy targets. Even an inkling of belief that someone would put up a fight was a disinc…
> But, from a game theory perspective, I'm employing my best strategy.
Your best strategy would be to be kind by default and then repeat their response. By being a defensive jerk you remove any incentive for people to be kind to you.
Re: How to Tell If You’re a Jerk
#16Interesting tidbit: Sweethearts also seem clueless to the presence of jerks, offering concessions to, and excuses for jerk behavior.
Question: what's with jerks teaming up? How does jerk signaling work, such that it attracts jerks-of-a-feather, when jerks in the wild are found joining forces?
Re: How to Tell If You’re a Jerk
#17I recently had a baby, and the self-realization that I am a jerk became very clear when I thought about the world. Let me explain: From a young age, growing up in Queens, I quickly learned the value of being a jerk/asshole as a deterrent for getting "jumped" for my jacket/sneakers. The idea was: kids mugging other kids would go for easy targets. Even an inkling of belief that someone would put up a fight was a disinc…
I like Burroughs' take on the matter: "Don't be such a shit that you don't know you are one."
"A gentleman is never unintentionally rude"?
Re: How to Tell If You’re a Jerk
#18Interesting tidbit: Sweethearts also seem clueless to the presence of jerks, offering concessions to, and excuses for jerk behavior. Question: what's with jerks teaming up? How does jerk signaling work, such that it attracts jerks-of-a-feather, when jerks in the wild are found joining forces?
Jerks of a feather stalk together.
Re: How to Tell If You’re a Jerk
#19I recently had a baby, and the self-realization that I am a jerk became very clear when I thought about the world. Let me explain: From a young age, growing up in Queens, I quickly learned the value of being a jerk/asshole as a deterrent for getting "jumped" for my jacket/sneakers. The idea was: kids mugging other kids would go for easy targets. Even an inkling of belief that someone would put up a fight was a disinc…
You don't have to be assertive to be a jerk...
...in fact, I'd say it's the people who correlate assertiveness with jerkiness that are in fact most often jerks.
Re: How to Tell If You’re a Jerk
#20I recently had a baby, and the self-realization that I am a jerk became very clear when I thought about the world. Let me explain: From a young age, growing up in Queens, I quickly learned the value of being a jerk/asshole as a deterrent for getting "jumped" for my jacket/sneakers. The idea was: kids mugging other kids would go for easy targets. Even an inkling of belief that someone would put up a fight was a disinc…
Just from the examples given, it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong... I like to take Teddy Roosevelt's mantra to heart; walk softly and carry a big stick. You can bend and bend and bend, and nobody will appreciate it - they just get all upset and pissy when you put your foot down and draw the line. Probably I'm a jerk.
I'm a jerk, but primarily in the face of unbalanced power or other people being jerks (or blatant unfairness).
People typically love or hate me, but it's usually relevant to their own actions. Maybe it comes from being picked on as a kid, I like to stand up for the little guy.