Men at Work Wonder If They Overstepped with Women, Too • Hacker News Board

Re: Men at Work Wonder If They Overstepped with Women, Too

#171

Post by astura » Tue, Nov 14, 2017, 4:39 PM UTC

noobermin wrote: post #126

astura wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sad? No! It's always been impolite to comment on people's appearance unless you are close with them. When you make comments about the appearance of your coworker there's so much that has the potential to be misunderstood and it's just so totally unnecessary. This isn't new either, Miss Manners has been advocating it since the 70s.

To be fair, I think that only applies to if you have something negative to say.

No, its impolite to make comments on other people's appearance, even positive, unless you are close to that person.

Please stop making unsolicited comments about my body, please and thank you.

Re: Men at Work Wonder If They Overstepped with Women, Too

#172

Post by Balgair » Tue, Nov 14, 2017, 5:21 PM UTC

jenga22 wrote: post #22

I am not sure why men go to happy hours with alcohol or go to social events where the chances of stepping over the line explode exponentially. Going out and hanging with your co-workers over a beer might have been a good idea six months ago but is no longer a good idea. Why? Any of those things you said or did, could be construed a million different ways. Was that one thing you said flirting? Did you say that one thi…

> You will lose your career and job over even the faintest claim.

We'll see.

Unfortunately, the 'track record' is not promising to those people that have accused their abusers. What has actually happened? Yes, Harv is in some deep stuff, but Kevin may slip out just fine. Donny pretty much got away scot-free. Give it time to mature, we may be disappointed to find that effectively nothing will occur.

Also, going out drinking with co-workers/bosses has always been an 'eyebrow raising' idea, right? Even a beer or two has always been a point of caution. Was anyone (not in a SV-frat-house-turned-startup) under any other impression?

Re: Men at Work Wonder If They Overstepped with Women, Too

#173

Post by jenga22 » Tue, Nov 14, 2017, 6:44 PM UTC

Balgair wrote: post #172

jenga22 wrote: post #22

I am not sure why men go to happy hours with alcohol or go to social events where the chances of stepping over the line explode exponentially. Going out and hanging with your co-workers over a beer might have been a good idea six months ago but is no longer a good idea. Why? Any of those things you said or did, could be construed a million different ways. Was that one thing you said flirting? Did you say that one thi…

> You will lose your career and job over even the faintest claim. We'll see. Unfortunately, the 'track record' is not promising to those people that have accused their abusers. What has actually happened? Yes, Harv is in some deep stuff, but Kevin may slip out just fine. Donny pretty much got away scot-free. Give it time to mature, we may be disappointed to find that effectively nothing will occur. Also, going out dr…

Almost everyone in NYC goes out at 5 for drinks and they get shit faced. While this is great for team building, it is now not a great idea for reasons that are obvious. It is not a SV thing by any measure.

Re: Men at Work Wonder If They Overstepped with Women, Too

#174

Post by Balgair » Tue, Nov 14, 2017, 7:49 PM UTC

jenga22 wrote: post #173

Balgair wrote: post #172

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You will lose your career and job over even the faintest claim. We'll see. Unfortunately, the 'track record' is not promising to those people that have accused their abusers. What has actually happened? Yes, Harv is in some deep stuff, but Kevin may slip out just fine. Donny pretty much got away scot-free. Give it time to mature, we may be disappointed to find that effectively nothing will occur. Also, going out dr…

Almost everyone in NYC goes out at 5 for drinks and they get shit faced. While this is great for team building, it is now not a great idea for reasons that are obvious. It is not a SV thing by any measure.

Seems like you can easily correlate the 'drinking culture' of a work place/field with these accusations then, yeah?

Re: Men at Work Wonder If They Overstepped with Women, Too

#175

Post by jenga22 » Tue, Nov 14, 2017, 8:31 PM UTC

Balgair wrote: post #174

jenga22 wrote: post #173

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Almost everyone in NYC goes out at 5 for drinks and they get shit faced. While this is great for team building, it is now not a great idea for reasons that are obvious. It is not a SV thing by any measure.

Seems like you can easily correlate the 'drinking culture' of a work place/field with these accusations then, yeah?

Re-read my initial post. It is just one such example. Even the game zones I feel are areas where you increase your risk surface area.

Re: Men at Work Wonder If They Overstepped with Women, Too

#176

Post by scott_s » Thu, Nov 16, 2017, 10:14 PM UTC

noobermin wrote: post #124

_m8fo wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

sure, but we're not talking about someone with a disability. we're talking about men and women. why would you even make that comparison, given the context? by the way, people with disabilities generally want to be treated equally, once accessibility has been reached.

Women are different due to cultural norms and have also different needs; for just one example, while both parents of new born kids might need paternity or maternity leave, women who give birth face a much more physiologically taxing experience than men who do not. You cannot merely treat everyone the same with a "for all" universal quantifier next to it because you'll end up discriminating against someone. This isn't…

> women who give birth face a much more physiologically taxing experience than men who do not.

Which is an excellent reason to give the men the same amount of paternity leave so they can look after the newborn while the mother recuperates!

I get your point in general, but that example is a case where giving men more time off is likely to lead better results for women, and a more egalitarian society in general. The argument: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/01/the-dad...

Re: Men at Work Wonder If They Overstepped with Women, Too

#177

Post by mistermann » Fri, Nov 17, 2017, 2:45 AM UTC

jacalata wrote: post #9

mistermann wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ridiculous until you wake up one day and discover you no longer have a career.

The occasional occurrence of an unlikely event does not make it reasonable to arrange your life around avoiding it. See: kidnapping by a stranger, plane crashes, suddenly having a photo of yourself go viral on the internet.

> occasional occurrence

My reading of the newspaper suggests otherwise.

Re: Men at Work Wonder If They Overstepped with Women, Too

#178

Post by jacalata » Tue, Nov 21, 2017, 6:10 PM UTC

mistermann wrote: post #177

jacalata wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The occasional occurrence of an unlikely event does not make it reasonable to arrange your life around avoiding it. See: kidnapping by a stranger, plane crashes, suddenly having a photo of yourself go viral on the internet.

> occasional occurrence My reading of the newspaper suggests otherwise.

Your newspaper is reporting many instances of men with their career ruined by a false accusation? Those stories don't seem to make it to the New York Times, perhaps you should diversify your sources.