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I hate telephones

jameshfisher.com

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Re: I hate telephones

#321

Post by greggman »

SerLava wrote: post #251
anotherevan wrote: post #111

I’m probably a bit the other way in that I get frustrated with text messages going back and forth and back and forth when a one minute phone call will sort everything out far more efficiently. Probably also has something to do with hating tapping away at tiny virtual keyboard on the phone, too. My teenage daughter seems very reluctant to make a phone call. Watching her try and organise something with her friends driv…

> “Why don’t you just call them, and get it all figured out right now?” Because it's rude. It has always been rude, but now with the phone in your pocket it's that much worse. She doesn't know what her friend isn't doing at the moment, and shouldn't impose. The featured article gives a better impression of this than I can... but I'll add that the tragedy of the commons is a factor. You can't just show up from outer s…

through the 80s and 90s I never felt a sense of rudeness to call someone. If they didn't want to be bothered they'd let it go to their answering machine.

it's only since texting became a thing that it started to seem more rude to call but like others have said we just ask "ok to call?"

Re: I hate telephones

#322

Post by dang »

DanBC wrote: post #307
dang wrote: post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Internet psychiatric diagnosis is not ok in HN comments. As a trope it is perhaps second only to you're-the-shill-no-you're-the-shill in the degradation it causes to discussion. And consider that the author posted this, so you're talking about someone in the room. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way, but it's still something we all need to have the discipline and good taste to avoid. If we have to we'll add it to ht…

It seems a shame that someone with a very treatable mental health problem should continue to suffer a limited life just because we're all too polite to say "have you thought about CBT?" I do wonder what you'd say if someone described a physical health problem and people suggested they go see a physical health doctor.

You're making a series of assumptions here: that the problem can be accurately assessed this way, that the commenter is qualified to do so, that a message board comment is a suitable medium for such a message, and that the noise of this being an internet argument trope wouldn't drown out the signal of human concern. That's a lot of slack to cut "this guy has an anxiety disorder".

Re: I hate telephones

#323

Post by simonbarker87 »

wildrhythms wrote: post #287
simonbarker87 wrote: post #177

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree, I really dislike the move to everything by text. Text has it’s place for communication (HN is a perfect example) however it is far easier to work through something even remotely complicated with voice instead of text. We speak much faster than we type, we can add inflexions and tone to convey meaning in a way that text can’t (although emoji help) and, most importantly, there are no typos when talking. My job…

I can understand being able to discuss a complex issue over voice, but can you explain how this is possible? > it is far easier to work through something even remotely complicated with voice instead of text I find that this is the exact opposite. Trying to explain an error message (or have an error explained to me), or providing numbers, a name, an address, etc. is always a nightmare on the telephone. "I'm sorry was…

I find that when typing the way to get through things quickly is to anticipate there responses and try to head them off in the initial email unless you want it to become and endless back and forth of one line emails and this is very hard to do.

I speak much quicker than I type so (250-300 wpm vs 50-60) as do most people so the communication happens a faster.

Finally, it is much easier to convey meaning and feelings g with tonality, non-word sounds (hmmmm, argh, a laugh etc) and then when negotiating tactical silences.

I was trying to renegotiate our payment terms with a supplier last week and while I knew we couldn’t get what we really wanted (even though every other supplier gives us those payment terms) I felt we could get an improvement over the current deal. So I rang their financial director, he asked some clarifying questions to my request (that I couldn’t have easily anticipated being the o my ones he would ask) he said no, I hmmmm, reiterated the problem at our end and implied switching supplier at the end of the season, he hmmmm’d, tried to deflect and when it was my turn to talk I intentionally stayed silent, he waited a few seconds and then filled the awkward silence with an offer of different payment terms that are halfway to what I really want and much better than what we have. If this was done over email he would never of given us the new payment terms as the text medium is too limited for this kind of negotiation.

Oh and when reading our letters just use the phonetic alphabet, much easier.

I’m not saying the phone is perfect t for everything but it is an important part of our cumminication options and is bette than text is an number of sutuations that the OP and many other commenters are ignoring in tech’s need to not talk to people in real time.

Re: I hate telephones

#324

Post by Zarel »

tyingq wrote: post #266
daveFNbuck wrote: post #259

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How can you do this via settings in Android? I've spent hours searching for the answer and have yet to find it.

Add spammers phone as a contact, then select "all calls to voicemail" for that contact.

You can't add "Private Number" as a contact, nor can you block it.

Re: I hate telephones

#325

Post by dragonwriter »

greggman wrote: post #321
SerLava wrote: post #251

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> “Why don’t you just call them, and get it all figured out right now?” Because it's rude. It has always been rude, but now with the phone in your pocket it's that much worse. She doesn't know what her friend isn't doing at the moment, and shouldn't impose. The featured article gives a better impression of this than I can... but I'll add that the tragedy of the commons is a factor. You can't just show up from outer s…

through the 80s and 90s I never felt a sense of rudeness to call someone. If they didn't want to be bothered they'd let it go to their answering machine. it's only since texting became a thing that it started to seem more rude to call but like others have said we just ask "ok to call?"

Texting to ask if it is okay to call is, IMO, annoying and rude. A phone that can take texts has caller ID and voicemail to near certainty, call me and I'll decide whether or not to accept the call.

Don't make me deal with a content-free exchange to get to the one with content.

Re: I hate telephones

#326

Post by dragonwriter »

Zarel wrote: post #324
tyingq wrote: post #266

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Add spammers phone as a contact, then select "all calls to voicemail" for that contact.

You can't add "Private Number" as a contact, nor can you block it.

Even pre-smartphone landline systems could block (or route direct to VM) numbers with blocked caller ID.

You absolutely can block such numbers in the stock Android phone app; some online sources indicate iOS lacks this basic feature, but I don't know if they are accurate and current.

Re: I hate telephones

#327

Post by nicky0 »

mivanchev wrote: post #204
anotherevan wrote: post #111

I’m probably a bit the other way in that I get frustrated with text messages going back and forth and back and forth when a one minute phone call will sort everything out far more efficiently. Probably also has something to do with hating tapping away at tiny virtual keyboard on the phone, too. My teenage daughter seems very reluctant to make a phone call. Watching her try and organise something with her friends driv…

I'm always glad when someone calls and I always call people instead of typing down thoughts. Even better than calling is meeting someone IRL, but of course that's not always feasible. Then I usually begin by telling him or her how grateful I am that somebody is choosing the direct way over some form of texting and there are, sadly, far too many. Like your dad, I wouldn't buy anything not specially designed for transm…

I enjoy meeting people IRL but cannot stand the phone.

Don't you find it inconvenient to be interrupted by the phone?

Sometimes I'm in a bad mood or deep in thought and it's just not a good time for me to get into communication mode.

Then there is always the awkwardness of ending the call.

Talking on the phone effectively sucks a lot of my energy and causes anxiety afterwards. It's a non trivial event.

I'd much rather see the person in person where we can communicate properly and with full attention and the time to properly do so.

But some people seem to be able to effortlessly answer the phone and switch their train of thought to deal with whoever it is without skipping a beat. I envy that ability.

Re: I hate telephones

#328

Post by nicky0 »

Spearchucker wrote: post #64
stretchwithme wrote: post #31

I'd love it if my cell phone auto-screened calls from numbers not in my address book. Give them a special message that explains the only way they'll get through is to leave a message. Or that they can register their number in a public registry that fully explains who they are and then I can decide whether to take calls from that number.

I never answer calls, ever. My voicemail suggests sending me an email. If the caller doesn't, it's like it never happened. The only reason I even have a SIM card is for data/tethering.

I'm the same but I also disabled my voicemail so the phone just rings forever until they hang up.

I only answer the call if it is my parents calling.

Re: I hate telephones

#330

Post by nicky0 »

qznc wrote: post #140
lifeformed wrote: post #124

Getting a phone call always feels so rude. It's like it's saying, "Whatever you are doing, stop RIGHT NOW and listen to me. NOW! NOW! I'm giving you TEN SECONDS! LISTEN TO ME."

This! Phone calls are most impolite way to begin communication in my opinion. I'm probably not alone, because a lot of my acquaintances send a chat message first, like "hi, can I call you right now?". It can also lead to priority inversion. You handle the caller first despite having a higher priority (like a person next to you). Phone calls feel more urgent. Some people exploit this (e.g. salesmen). (I might have pho…

Turn off vibrations, disable voicemail and set your phone to silent. That way you only get calls when you are looking at your phone. Missed calls go to your call register and you can call them back at a convenient time to your.
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