Seems like unjust complaining about the phenomena, when the technology is actually to blame. I do dislike phones myself, but have accepted the status quo of obligatory having one and answering the calls. But it seems unacceptably stupid how hard it is in Android to configure what seems to me like the most basic features of the dialer. One would think that built-in answering machine, completely transparent phone number blacklist/whitelist configuration (including time of the day, CID, "mode" and appropriate action — reject w/ or w/o notifying me, silently ignore, answer automatically, answer manually, etc.) is a must have. But call handling (on par with a contact list and other "mandatory" apps) is about the lamest software on my smart"phone". Why the hell this device has a browser built-in, but cannot handle incoming/outgoing calls properly?!
I hate telephones
301–310 of 449 posts
Re: I hate telephones
#302This seems off-topic but I have a suspicion a lot of people in this thread will find the twiml for "ring forever" to be useful and interesting:
I think this will be interesting because there is probably a lot of overlap between people critical of phones and people critical of voicemail ... but it's actually sort of difficult to have a phone without voicemail.
If you disable voicemail with your carrier, it doesn't work the way you think (hope) it will. When you fail to answer, the carrier gives some weird message about the subscriber being unavailable which just makes people think you don't pay your phonebill or something. In short, you cannot, from the standpoint of your carrier, just have no response other than ringing.
But with twilio you can ...
Re: I hate telephones
#303Maybe this is an individual thing but I'd rather talk on the phone for any important conversation. For example, if I need to contact my bank for something, I'm always going to choose a phone call over chat. A phone call with a follow-up email if needed.
What makes the audio medium more 'important' to you? If 1:1 is important, what if you were provided the direct email address of a representative at the company? What are you able to convey over the phone that you can't directly via some other method?
Re: I hate telephones
#304I have seen this with young people in general (I don’t know the author’s age). They have anxiety about having a real time conversation on the phone. They don’t seem to have problems talking face-to-face, so it must be related to not being able to see the face of the interlocutor. It is a problem when doing business. Sometimes a phone call is the best way to resolve an issue.
It's clearly affecting many young people. I think it's generational.
If you get the chance I suggest listening to Diane Rehm's segment: https://dianerehm.org/shows/2016-11-23/teens-and-tech
Re: I hate telephones
#305> If I were rich, I would have a permanent secretary. If I ever play and win the lottery this is the one thing I would spent big money on. No expensive cars, no expensive wine, just a person which takes care of everything. Need a new insurance for the car? Tell the secretary to do it. Car is broken? Tell the secretary to take care of it. Need a hotel? Tell the personal secretary to book one. Phone broken? Just send a…
> if you have a group of half a dozen people who each pay a few hundred $ a month you could almost employ one person who takes care of such stuff You could move to Singapore, where a full-time (24x6) "domestic helper" costs about 400 USD per month. They'll cook meals for you, help care for your kids, buy groceries, do laundry, etc. Some people I know say they'd never move back to the US because of this. For compariso…
The number of people I know who would trust their domestic helper to do the kind of things the OP mentions is pretty low. They're maids, not PAs, and they are not generally here because of their outstanding educational attainment and bright career prospects back home. Most of them can hardly speak English.
On the other hand, I've known a few young people in Indonesia and the like who really would make excellent PAs of the kind the OP desires, and their salaries are not much more. We're talking university graduate, excellent English and phone manners, and the kind of proactive dedication to a task that one greatly desires in an employee - $500/m or less. I agree, there could be a market.
Re: I hate telephones
#306I hate not just telephones, but being funneled into this whole culture of being disturbed, and disturbing people anywhere, anytime, at will, for things that can wait.
As both an introvert and a technical person I do almost everything I do with deep concentration, whether that be coding, playing piano, reading papers, biking, driving, or hiking. A single phone ring, a single "hey what's up", while I'm in the middle of coding causes a cataclysmic implosion of an immensely complicated thought structure that takes a several minutes to rebuild. A single phone ring while I'm biking or driving is honestly dangerous. A single phone ring while I'm playing the piano and not only will I lose track of what I'm trying to learn, but I will also not be in a state of mind to speak a human language, and will probably answer the phone call with gibberish. Hence, my phone is in airplane mode a lot of the time. The rest of the time I have a call blocker on that only accepts calls from a few known numbers. The only time I turn off the call blocker is if someone has pre-arranged a phone call with me and it's on my calendar.
I also highly value social time and try to give 100% undivided attention during them. I loathe people who look at their phones while I'm trying to talk to them, and people who ask me to go to dinner with them and then go on a phone call for 50% of the dinner. It makes me feel unimportant, makes me feel like I wasted my time trekking out to meet them. I don't want to do the same thing to other people.
I realize that not everyone is like that. But I get the worst end of the stick when people think they can just call me "sometime in the afternoon". Realistically that means I will get NOTHING done that entire afternoon except wait for your damn phone call because I need to deal with your inability to schedule a time and respect my time. I honestly miss the days when cell phones had not yet been invented. I miss the days when people would just set a time and place, meet, talk, leave, and get on with business according to a plan.
I do, however, love the ability to access the internet from anywhere for maps, bus/train times, news, and other information, when I want it.
Oh, another reason I hate calls and typically shut my phone off is because it's increasingly difficult to do so in privacy. I spend a lot of time outdoors, on public transit, and so on, and the last thing I need is a bunch of bystanders staring and eavesdropping on my calls, and even commenting on what I'm speaking. I also don't like it when contexts mix, e.g. friends from different circles hear conversations of mine from another circle. It results in me going into a shock state where I basically cannot talk. It happens so often that I just stopped using voice calls altogether, for the most part.
Re: I hate telephones
#307Unsolicited or unexpected phone calls are annoying, but this guy has an anxiety disorder and should probably attend CBT or psychotherapy as it is obviously significantly impacting his life in a negative way. Also, text is not always a the best way of communicating- a lot of information is conveyed in someone’s voice which is often difficult to put on paper. It can also be way faster to speak to someone, particularly…
Internet psychiatric diagnosis is not ok in HN comments. As a trope it is perhaps second only to you're-the-shill-no-you're-the-shill in the degradation it causes to discussion. And consider that the author posted this, so you're talking about someone in the room. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way, but it's still something we all need to have the discipline and good taste to avoid. If we have to we'll add it to ht…
It seems a shame that someone with a very treatable mental health problem should continue to suffer a limited life just because we're all too polite to say "have you thought about CBT?"
I do wonder what you'd say if someone described a physical health problem and people suggested they go see a physical health doctor.
Re: I hate telephones
#308I've been saying essentially the same thing for years. I'm glad people are catching on that the legacy phone system is a joke. Phone companies are also complicit in the international scams performed over their system. Good luck getting them to block repeat spam; they will usually suggest you install some 3rd party app on your phone before they even consider taking action. Even then, they usually won't take action. At…
I do exactly the same. If I haven't agreed to a time in advance (and I usually haven't), then my phone notifications will be off. I can be reached any time of the day via text or email, but an unsolicited call is out of the question.
When companies insist on only contacting me directly via the phone and expecting an immediate answer; yet forcing me into a labyrinth to talk to a stranger when I need to contact them: Why would I ever agree to this horrible one-way street?
Re: I hate telephones
#309Want to reach me? WhatsApp or a good old fashioned email. Your call be unanswered and I haven't listened to voicemail in years. Life is too short for inane babbling. I can read faster than the average person can talk.
But the average person can’t type faster than they can talk. Generally a conversation has two sides and typing forces both sides to express themselves in a much slower manner, the time you save reading you will waste typing
Good- this gives both parties the opportunity to boil down the information into the most important parts, and verify those important parts for accuracy.
Re: I hate telephones
#310Maybe this is an individual thing but I'd rather talk on the phone for any important conversation. For example, if I need to contact my bank for something, I'm always going to choose a phone call over chat. A phone call with a follow-up email if needed.
What makes the audio medium more 'important' to you? If 1:1 is important, what if you were provided the direct email address of a representative at the company? What are you able to convey over the phone that you can't directly via some other method?
I think the instant feedback is the most important thing for me. If I want to convey something that is a bit important for me, I need to get it done and move on to something else. I can tick off that item in my mental checklist immediately. With an email or chat, there is a delay. And there is no guarantee of feedback. I need to switch to another task knowing that this one isn't done yet.