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The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

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Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#251

Post by triplesec »

pantalaimon wrote: post #160
vog wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I see many lonely people in western big cities for instance Not true for Berlin, though. If you regularily visit some hackerspaces (or other meetups with like-minded people, such as various user groups such as Emacs user group, political groups such as FSFE, whatever), or go to university and study there, you have very good chances finding friends, some of whom may turn out to be very good friends. Sometimes it see…

A few years ago I would wholeheartedly agree with you, but for me things have changed unfortunately. Working in a startup job each day leaves me exhausted - not exhausted in regards to meeting people, but to planning such meetings. Too often I will just end up stuck to the internet. The people I used to do things with either moved away or don't respond to such suggestions anymore. Social circles seem to fall apart qu…

I should use meetups more too. One mistake I have made is assuming that the first people that respond positively are going to be good friends, and compatible. Some natural sifting and more effort is needed even then. And self-examination and feeling as to what you want! I think this whole process helps us feel who we are. And projecting that, attracting similar-accepting humans. (while working on listning more and becoing better humans too!) / I think a bunch of people on here struggle, for obvious reasons no fault of our own, but there are definitely solutions to be found (see my other comment on this too nearby for one more). I'm reading and learning more here also.

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#252

Post by 24gttghh »

>Yuichi: There’s a manual for everything in this company. We use psychology to determine the optimal outcome. In this case, the standard tactic is to make me look like a yakuza [gangster]. Typically, I arrive with the wife, and the husband is there, and suddenly I will just bow then deeply apologize. Usually, the husband will berate me, but because I appear to be a yakuza, he won’t pursue the matter further.

Ethical questions aside, this is dangerously brilliant. Better hope the actual Yakuza doesn't find out...

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#253

Post by triplesec »

derefr wrote: post #134
rljy wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, for example, if 11 members of the 20 person track team are going somewhere after practice, you have to invite everyone you meet even if you don't want them there. Even if its totally impractical to invite them there. If you're at a park throwing a Frisbee with some people you know, and you happen to be going somewhere with one friend afterwards, it's almost mandatory to invite the others who are there, even if…

> There is no requirement to invite someone someplace just because you are going there yourself. That wasn’t the effect you were demonstrating above. It was more “you have to invite [friend A] if you invite [friend B] from the same social group, unless you want [friend A] to think that you value them less than [friend B].” Which is sometimes obviously what you want them to think—if you have known [friend B] for years…

I find that in the US, friend and acquaintance is hard to tell apart, because people are friendly and open in some ways. So I often can't tell who actually likes me well enough to figure out on deeper friendships.

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#254

Post by musage »

nemothekid wrote: post #177
musage wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> the young woman's confidence has improved, destructive behaviour stopped, bullying stopped What makes you think that wouldn't have happened over time by itself? What's the message here, bullying someone for having lost her father is okay, not having a father is not okay? That's normalizing people being bullied for being humans. It's normalizing not allowing a widow to find another lover who at least may have an act…

You are dissatisfied at the situations - we all are. We all understand that society is getting more isolated. However you deflected the question "righteous crusaders for truth, if this girl was put in front of you, would you tell her?" with a completely unrelated question. Society has never been perfect, and it's a very tall order to say that an individual had the agency to build one where this situation would not ha…

> A single man cannot undo decades of societal decay.

Rosa Parks didn't put the powder in the keg, and she didn't want to light no fuse. She was just sick and tired of something she considered wrong and demeaning for herself.

So yes, if it helps, I would probably want to tell that girl. It's dumb to "give an answer" to such a hypothetical. If you were Trump's old school buddy, would you still go jogging with him? Anyway, you know how they say to ignore bullies, and hiring a fake father is going so far in the opposite direction (apart from the totally fucked up priorities in the first place IMO, your actual identity > discomfort that prompts you to grow). And it's not "unfair" to expect people to not make things worse.

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#255

Post by sdrothrock »

underwoodley wrote: post #241
sdrothrock wrote: post #238

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Technology has a much bigger impact on the daily life there I see this a lot and I'd like to see what kind of technology you think exists here and has an impact on daily life here that doesn't exist/have an impact elsewhere. Japanese technology that reaches the west is often the high-concept/prototype kind that definitely does not have any daily impact on anything, urban or rural. The most ubiquitous pieces of tech…

if 'cashless payment via touching a card' is what I think it is, it is completely widespread in London, in all shops/restaurants, and also on public transport.

Ah, yeah. Oyster card? Same deal. I guess that just goes to show that Japan really isn't as "futuristic" as people would like to think. :)

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#256

Post by zimpenfish »

underwoodley wrote: post #241
sdrothrock wrote: post #238

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Technology has a much bigger impact on the daily life there I see this a lot and I'd like to see what kind of technology you think exists here and has an impact on daily life here that doesn't exist/have an impact elsewhere. Japanese technology that reaches the west is often the high-concept/prototype kind that definitely does not have any daily impact on anything, urban or rural. The most ubiquitous pieces of tech…

if 'cashless payment via touching a card' is what I think it is, it is completely widespread in London, in all shops/restaurants, and also on public transport.

> it is completely widespread in London, in all shops/restaurants

Probably needs "major" after "all" there. There's plenty of reasonably sized shops et al that haven't quite got around to contactless machines yet (Holland and Barrett, Ryman, etc.)

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#257

Post by cableshaft »

sdrothrock wrote: post #237
cableshaft wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is common in the U.S. too. I can't begin to tell you how many threads I've encountered where people go "How do you make friends after college?" or studies that show that people lose friends over time and hardly gain any after college, on average. But, I don't think it has to be that way in the US. I myself went from having few friends to having more than I can keep up with, thanks to a period of two years where…

> Most people don't make that effort here, though, and that's one reason why they struggle As far as "making an effort" goes, I can only speak for myself (in the sense that it's not worth judging whether other people are "trying" from their appearance), but it's definitely pretty difficult to get past that initial "social circle" restriction. For example, I've worked at the same company for a few years, gone out for…

Well there are certainly friends where I mostly just do board games nights or talk about board games with. However, board games are inherently social and you tend to talk about other things while playing the games usually. In fact, I count some of those people among my closest friends now. It's also my primary hobby (in fact I design board games now), so I naturally spend a lot of time thinking about them anyway.

So part of it may be the activity. I've noticed it's been easier or harder to make friends depending on what it is. Dinners seem to work well, movies less so (although if you pair the movie with dinner it can be good). Board games are nice because if you don't really feel like chatting you can just be quiet and focus on playing the game. I bet other sports can be that way too. I remember Pool and Darts feeling that way at times. Trivia nights at pubs sorta worked as well for the same reason.

As for people at work.... I'm friendly with coworkers, and from time to time I will do something with them outside of work, but I've noticed that coworker friendships tend not to stick very well. I've actually found my first coworker friendship that I think might stick in over 20 years, and that's because we both have dogs and set up times to go to the dog park together (he also helped me find my dog when he went missing for a week).

I actually used to feel pretty cynical as well about making friends because I had such bad luck turning coworkers into friends. I stopped trying there a while ago.

I've also had bad luck at "Networking" events. Too many people are just there trying to find the next person to hire them or work with or pass their business card to. I have started having some luck at Hacker nights, though, again because I found one I just keep showing up to, and it's pretty low key.

And for the most part I didn't reach out too aggressively. I mainly just showed up to events, said hi to other regulars, listened in on some conversations, say something here and there, and showed up often enough to become a regular myself. I didn't start getting invites to private events by some people until I'd seen them at 10-20 events previously sometimes.

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#260

Post by Fuxy »

PakG1 wrote: post #229
Fuxy wrote: post #133

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is no way another person doesn't get emotionally invested in their role the only difference is your paying them to put up with your shit and pretend to be your ideal one. That's a pretty bad deal for both to be honest the client gets a fake they may even fool themselves is real (as they did) and he basically goes through all the bad parts of a relationships without being able to complain. I kind of agree with f…

he basically goes through all the bad parts of a relationships without being able to complain. Isn't that why the service provider gets paid? I believe the service provider knows that this is the deal.

He definitely knows it's the customer that tends to forget weather intentionally or unintentionally.

At the end of the day it's bad for both parties even if they don't realise it I mean he did say he doesn't want a family because of all the shit he puts up faking it although he framed it more politely.

Because of his work he thinks that all families are like the ones he pretends to be a part of but is that really true?

You choose your partner but not your customer so it's not the same and a important distinction.

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