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The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

theatlantic.com

191–200 of 265 posts

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#191
post #3

This is sick. That girl is going to find out one day that he is not her father and she is going to be very fucked up when she realizes her entire life is a lie and she can't ever trust anyone. I can't believe someone would be willing to do that to someone for $50/hr.

I agree - this seems like abuse (especially to do to a child unaware of and not consenting to the lie).

I don't understand how someone could rationalize this to themselves as ethical. I hope the interviewer is just lying.

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#192
post #49

Went into reading this article expecting it to be a one-off, rental boyfriend type deal (that kind of trope is used very frequently in movies/tv shows/manga there), but this way way deeper than I expected. I'm pretty mind blown at how far they are taking this fake/real replacements. Pretty close to some dystopian scifi actually. >If the client never reveals the truth, I must continue the role indefinitely. If the dau…

Now imagine a future technology where you could undergo some hypnosis / gaslighting treatment to forget you even hired this person. I.e. pay a lot of money in advance, it's invested and the actor gets paid from the interest. You undergo memory treatment, and now your mother who you see once a week is real as far as you know, but really she's an actor you hired years back because your actual mother died.

isnt that kind of the premise of Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind?

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#193
post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Same here. I can't help but wonder about the ethical implications of lying to a child about something so fundamental for her entire lifetime.

It’s common to lie to children about religious dogma. Society is currently still accustomed to lying about fundamental issues.

True, and it may be unavoidable. The human species needs myths and storytelling to form cohesive societies. Make-believe is the cornerstone of money, government, social contract and so on.

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#194
post #49

Went into reading this article expecting it to be a one-off, rental boyfriend type deal (that kind of trope is used very frequently in movies/tv shows/manga there), but this way way deeper than I expected. I'm pretty mind blown at how far they are taking this fake/real replacements. Pretty close to some dystopian scifi actually. >If the client never reveals the truth, I must continue the role indefinitely. If the dau…

Now imagine a future technology where you could undergo some hypnosis / gaslighting treatment to forget you even hired this person. I.e. pay a lot of money in advance, it's invested and the actor gets paid from the interest. You undergo memory treatment, and now your mother who you see once a week is real as far as you know, but really she's an actor you hired years back because your actual mother died.

And to prevent further awkwardness, the acting company would need insurance to pay for a replacement actor, if the original actor playing your mother died... it's turtles all the way down!

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#195
post #157
post #99

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It's very hard for me to condemn this when the outcome seems so inarguably positive. Truthfulness is important, yes, but so is outcome. And if this woman after ten or twenty years, when she is well-adjusted with a career and family of her own, finds out the truth, would she be angry with her mother - or thank her? Given the amount of adopted kids that have been lied to, and later found out, she'll be absolutely fur…

> Her mother is a lazy, dishonest bitch who bought a fake father rather than finding a real one for her daughter. Japan is full of single men so it's not like that option wasn't available to her. I think that's harsh and short sighted. Why is marrying a single man better for her daughter? How is that more "real"? It's certainly not true in all cases. If her mother remarried to an abusive alcoholic do you seriously th…

I'm 100% sure the daughter would have preferred the abusive alcoholic over being tricked like this. If you don't understand that, then you have a lot to learn about Homo sapiens.

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#196
post #194
post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Now imagine a future technology where you could undergo some hypnosis / gaslighting treatment to forget you even hired this person. I.e. pay a lot of money in advance, it's invested and the actor gets paid from the interest. You undergo memory treatment, and now your mother who you see once a week is real as far as you know, but really she's an actor you hired years back because your actual mother died.

And to prevent further awkwardness, the acting company would need insurance to pay for a replacement actor, if the original actor playing your mother died... it's turtles all the way down!

No, your wife unaware that you'd hired a fake mother will hire a fake you when you die least it break your geriatric mother's heart. Now you'll have two actors unknowingly interacting in perpetuity.

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#197
post #73
post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The article specifically mentions the positive outcome of the arrangement - the young woman's confidence has improved, destructive behaviour stopped, bullying stopped, and she has the father figure she obviously needs at this critical part of her development. And from all appearances he is genuinely doing his best to be that. It's very hard for me to condemn this when the outcome seems so inarguably positive. Truthfu…

> the young woman's confidence has improved, destructive behaviour stopped, bullying stopped What makes you think that wouldn't have happened over time by itself? What's the message here, bullying someone for having lost her father is okay, not having a father is not okay? That's normalizing people being bullied for being humans. It's normalizing not allowing a widow to find another lover who at least may have an act…

Being a real parent is essentially pretending to be a good parent most of the time, because you have no idea what you're doing. This guy just does the same thing in four hour chunks for $200 a pop, while the real thing doesn't get a wage or keep fixed business hours.

Having acted as the perfect boyfriend, husband, and father, in bite-sized chunks, even while exhausted, subject of the article is in an ideal position to take on the real thing. The only difference is that the actors get to stop playing their roles when the scene is over, while the real people have to keep their masks on forever.

As screwed up as it may sound, this guy is actually removing one of the layers of mutually-reinforced illusion from Japanese society, by openly admitting that the other person in an interaction is playing a predefined role in exchange for valuable consideration. It's like that old cynical description of an older profession: you're not paying for that, you're paying for them to leave afterward. You're substituting cash for the emotional investment you would otherwise have to put in as your half of the exchange. It's brutally mercenary, but some people are happy enough with the illusion. Why else would novels and teleplays be so popular? If my entire life is a lie anyway, why not pay a little extra to make it a good one?

This article is one of the reasons why I think Japan will be the first to industrialize companionship AI, and thereby blow huge, gaping, unrepairable holes through their own culture within the span of a single generation. Some forward-thinking researcher had better install a secret matchmaking protocol into the model before version one ships, or we're all doomed.

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#198

Can someone confirm that this is real? It reads like (dismal) satire.

I've lived in Japan for nearly a decade and never heard of anything like it. However it seems legit: domain name was registered in 2012 with a Japanese registrar and was renewed in 2015. The company (from their website) claims to have operated since 2010. It's worth noting that most Japanese people would find this a pretty weird thing, I think -- it's not normal. I can't imagine that it would actually work out well i…

It's fairly common to rent people for commercial purposes; the term is サクラ (i.e. a shill, basically). While I don't hear about renting people to imitate personal relationships, I wouldn't be surprised if it was more commonplace than it appears.

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#199
post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We generally think it's ethically acceptable not to tell a child that they were adopted for a long while (possibly into adulthood), or not to tell a child that their biological father wasn't their mother's husband. We also find it ethically acceptable for a couple not to ask who fathered their own child. We also generally find it ethically acceptable to form and especially continue relationships based on factors othe…

We also find it ethically acceptable for a couple not to ask who fathered their own child Wait, we do? Social issues aside, what about family medical history!?

I think this was referring to sperm donation.

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#200
post #157

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Her mother is a lazy, dishonest bitch who bought a fake father rather than finding a real one for her daughter. Japan is full of single men so it's not like that option wasn't available to her. I think that's harsh and short sighted. Why is marrying a single man better for her daughter? How is that more "real"? It's certainly not true in all cases. If her mother remarried to an abusive alcoholic do you seriously th…

I'm 100% sure the daughter would have preferred the abusive alcoholic over being tricked like this. If you don't understand that, then you have a lot to learn about Homo sapiens.

Some people prefer the gate of ivory to the gate of horn. It is not my place to choose for them.
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