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The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

theatlantic.com

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Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#41

Post by ekianjo »

hkmurakami wrote: post #29
SomeStupidPoint wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Americans are direct only about a certain set of things. My Thai friends are much more direct discussing appearance, for instance. As an American, that was actually quite a shock visiting Thailand -- but you get used to it and adjust, and now it feels weird that there is this taboo in the US. Americans are more open and direct than Japan, but I don't know that I'd say they're particularly open and direct -- about the…

That's a good point. We generally don't talk about our finances or deep personal life (vs the stereotypical Chinese aunt who demands to know your income as well as your dating history). American men tend to not talk about our emotions to one another. I'm not sure how best to describe the difference. When I talk to Japanese "friends", I feel that I am talking to a mask, or that they're playing a part. In the States, o…

Its also because Japanese dont have much to talk about in the first place. Look at their media, its all tabloid level at best, and you would have a hard time finding people who talk about other things than completely mundane subjects in ANY context. I think this is mostly due to an education trying to kill any ounce of individual thinking.

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#42

Post by ekianjo »

gkanai wrote: post #30
andischo wrote: post #21

This interview makes me wonder where we are heading as the human race. The Japanese society, so certainly very different in some aspects, does strike me as a glimpse into the future of western society. Technology has a much bigger impact on the daily life there and I believe that this is one of the main reasons, why (face-to-face) social interactions are becoming more infrequent. What struck me the most from the arti…

> Technology has a much bigger impact on the daily life there Why do you say that? Fax machines are still in regular use in Japan, as are flip phones.

Flip phones are mostly reserved to seniors here. Smartphones are everywhere.

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#43

Post by mparramon »

danmaz74 wrote: post #31
pfisch wrote: post #3

This is sick. That girl is going to find out one day that he is not her father and she is going to be very fucked up when she realizes her entire life is a lie and she can't ever trust anyone. I can't believe someone would be willing to do that to someone for $50/hr.

Playing devil's advocate: how much different is this from adopted children to which adoptive parent's don't tell the truth? Is it mostly how likely is the truth to come out at some point?

The adoptive parents genuinely love the child, they are not getting paid to pretend they do.

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#44

Post by darren_ »

stickfigure wrote: post #14

Can someone confirm that this is real? It reads like (dismal) satire.

Living in Japan for many years and i've literally never heard of anything like this. And it's important to bear in mind that there's a notable tendency for non-Japanese-media to play up the perceived weirdness/wackiness of Japan, particularly when it matches their established narrative (overworking, low birth rate, obsession with 'cute' things, &c &c)

On the other hand my particular social bubble is inherently biased so it could well be this happens all the time and I have no idea.

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#46

Post by visarga »

ZenoArrow wrote: post #9
pfisch wrote: post #3

This is sick. That girl is going to find out one day that he is not her father and she is going to be very fucked up when she realizes her entire life is a lie and she can't ever trust anyone. I can't believe someone would be willing to do that to someone for $50/hr.

Services like the ones being described are a symptom of the underlying problems. Should these services exist? Probably not. However, it's more helpful to understand why they do. Why do you think these services exist?

Because people have high expectations from life but low willingness to accept and adapt. So they'll rent a fake to cut corners.

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#47

Post by sho »

moonka wrote: post #12
hkmurakami wrote: post #2

Went into reading this article expecting it to be a one-off, rental boyfriend type deal (that kind of trope is used very frequently in movies/tv shows/manga there), but this way way deeper than I expected. I'm pretty mind blown at how far they are taking this fake/real replacements. Pretty close to some dystopian scifi actually. >If the client never reveals the truth, I must continue the role indefinitely. If the dau…

Same here. I can't help but wonder about the ethical implications of lying to a child about something so fundamental for her entire lifetime.

The article specifically mentions the positive outcome of the arrangement - the young woman's confidence has improved, destructive behaviour stopped, bullying stopped, and she has the father figure she obviously needs at this critical part of her development. And from all appearances he is genuinely doing his best to be that.

It's very hard for me to condemn this when the outcome seems so inarguably positive. Truthfulness is important, yes, but so is outcome. And if this woman after ten or twenty years, when she is well-adjusted with a career and family of her own, finds out the truth, would she be angry with her mother - or thank her?

Ethics is not black and white. It can often be a struggle between multiple competing imperatives. This is a Trolley Problem for the human soul.

O righteous crusaders for truth, if this girl was put in front of you, would you tell her?

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#48

Post by meric »

tyingq wrote: post #36
danmaz74 wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Playing devil's advocate: how much different is this from adopted children to which adoptive parent's don't tell the truth? Is it mostly how likely is the truth to come out at some point?

The difference is when the truth comes out, the adopted child learns that someone cared enough about them to raise them, 24x7. Still crappy, but less crappy than learning your dad was a $200/month actor that had no actual emotional investment in you.

I've read the article, it appears for the father role, the actor has some level of emotional investment. He enjoys creating happiness as the father, and feels guilty when he leaves her, and dreams about her even.

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#49

Post by avar »

hkmurakami wrote: post #2

Went into reading this article expecting it to be a one-off, rental boyfriend type deal (that kind of trope is used very frequently in movies/tv shows/manga there), but this way way deeper than I expected. I'm pretty mind blown at how far they are taking this fake/real replacements. Pretty close to some dystopian scifi actually. >If the client never reveals the truth, I must continue the role indefinitely. If the dau…

Now imagine a future technology where you could undergo some hypnosis / gaslighting treatment to forget you even hired this person.

I.e. pay a lot of money in advance, it's invested and the actor gets paid from the interest. You undergo memory treatment, and now your mother who you see once a week is real as far as you know, but really she's an actor you hired years back because your actual mother died.

Re: The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

#50

Post by anvandare »

>There are certain memories, yes. There’s a blank sheet, and the client writes the memories that he wants the wife to remember.

>For them, it’s a lot of hassle and disappointment. Imagine investing five years with someone and then they break up with you. It’s just easier to schedule two hours per week to interact with an ideal boyfriend. There’s no conflict, no jealously, no bad habits. Everything is perfect.

The fundamental problem with being human is that there are other humans. They're so unpredictable to deal with. Let's hope the AI finally comes soon, at least you can save/reload those.

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