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“Why I cancelled my ReactiveConf talk”

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11–20 of 34 posts

Re: “Why I cancelled my ReactiveConf talk”

#11

This should be buried, and I would never invite her to speak again because she is drama . This is a trend of hyper sensitivity that requires everyone to walk on eggshells and wear kid gloves because who knows what could trigger the emotional reaction. Really, think about this - what if a company tries to do something fun, like for halloween, and buys clip-on ties for the guys and clip-on hair ties for the girls, but…

[deleted]

Re: “Why I cancelled my ReactiveConf talk”

#12

This should be buried, and I would never invite her to speak again because she is drama . This is a trend of hyper sensitivity that requires everyone to walk on eggshells and wear kid gloves because who knows what could trigger the emotional reaction. Really, think about this - what if a company tries to do something fun, like for halloween, and buys clip-on ties for the guys and clip-on hair ties for the girls, but…

You should grow up and learn to empathize with people different than you. It's not hard, you just have to imagine why someone with a different background than you might feel different about events than you do. She's much closer to this event, anyway, so I'm sure she's got a better opinion on it than you.

And about her point of being sexualized - what if a guy had his face photoshopped onto he-man and that guy complained about being sexualized because now his face is on a shirtless strong dude. These arguments only go one way for people like this.

You really don't see the difference between a male being sexualized among a mostly male audience, and a female who wants to be treated as a professional being sexualized? It's not that hard to figure out.

Re: “Why I cancelled my ReactiveConf talk”

#13
post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Perspective - if someone photoshopped my face onto pancho villa I could choose to be undermined or be a good sport about it, regardless of how wrong the other party may have been. I will say this, being outraged may vault her into the limelight and accelerate her name recognition, if not for a moment. Almost sounds like an incentive to choose to be a victim

Or maybe she had a legitimate reason to be offended. You don't get to chose that.

I think you missed my point where i would be offended and still handle it with grace.

Oh and to shortcircuit the strawman observation, I've been in many professional situations where my latino heritage is used in a malicious and insulting way which offends me but I CHOOSE a constructive non confrontational conflict resolution that includes dialogue

Re: “Why I cancelled my ReactiveConf talk”

#14
post #2

ok. people can be offended by things that weren't intended to offend them. this does happen from time to time. buy why would the speaker withdraw instead of contacting the event organizers? if it bothered her, she wouldn't necessarily have to go into any detail as to why she found it offensive. she should just chew them out for this debacle and threaten to withdraw if they don't alter the image. this whole thing seem…

She wanted to be taken seriously, that undermined it, she has that right. That the organizers responded the way they did says enough: This is not how adults handle situations.

The non-adults who are set off by (potentially anything) and then escalate to public forums to demonize others instead of themselves reacting with empathy or resilience then say what adults act like. Funny.

Re: “Why I cancelled my ReactiveConf talk”

#15

This should be buried, and I would never invite her to speak again because she is drama . This is a trend of hyper sensitivity that requires everyone to walk on eggshells and wear kid gloves because who knows what could trigger the emotional reaction. Really, think about this - what if a company tries to do something fun, like for halloween, and buys clip-on ties for the guys and clip-on hair ties for the girls, but…

You should grow up and learn to empathize with people different than you. It's not hard, you just have to imagine why someone with a different background than you might feel different about events than you do. She's much closer to this event, anyway, so I'm sure she's got a better opinion on it than you. And about her point of being sexualized - what if a guy had his face photoshopped onto he-man and that guy complai…

I think people might agree with you more if you wrote this in a tone that is even slightly condescending. If your approach to responding to people who disagree with you is trying to shame them for their behavior and shut them out then nobody will ever want to hear out your argument or consider it.

Re: “Why I cancelled my ReactiveConf talk”

#16

This should be buried, and I would never invite her to speak again because she is drama . This is a trend of hyper sensitivity that requires everyone to walk on eggshells and wear kid gloves because who knows what could trigger the emotional reaction. Really, think about this - what if a company tries to do something fun, like for halloween, and buys clip-on ties for the guys and clip-on hair ties for the girls, but…

You should grow up and learn to empathize with people different than you. It's not hard, you just have to imagine why someone with a different background than you might feel different about events than you do. She's much closer to this event, anyway, so I'm sure she's got a better opinion on it than you. And about her point of being sexualized - what if a guy had his face photoshopped onto he-man and that guy complai…

Maybe the guy is homosexual. Maybe his boyfriend will get pissed off now that the other homosexual men in the audience may react to him differently. Who knows

You even say that "a male being sexualized in a mostly male audience" is ok. HOW IS THAT OK? You literally can't make judgements about what is OK or not, because you can't empathize with each person in each scenario who "knows it better than you" and if someone gets upset because reasons

The point is even if everyone tries to act their best, you have no idea what will set her off, or the next person. And you are supporting a society where this behavior is OK. That is wrong.

Re: “Why I cancelled my ReactiveConf talk”

#17
post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You should grow up and learn to empathize with people different than you. It's not hard, you just have to imagine why someone with a different background than you might feel different about events than you do. She's much closer to this event, anyway, so I'm sure she's got a better opinion on it than you. And about her point of being sexualized - what if a guy had his face photoshopped onto he-man and that guy complai…

I think people might agree with you more if you wrote this in a tone that is even slightly condescending. If your approach to responding to people who disagree with you is trying to shame them for their behavior and shut them out then nobody will ever want to hear out your argument or consider it.

Not attempting to reason with someone so ideological, just want him to be aware that is viewpoint isn't ok.

We need to send a message back to her that she is the one being drama and needs to grow up and be a 'real adult' like she says she is.

Honestly that just sounds threatening, it's not alright.

Re: “Why I cancelled my ReactiveConf talk”

#18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You should grow up and learn to empathize with people different than you. It's not hard, you just have to imagine why someone with a different background than you might feel different about events than you do. She's much closer to this event, anyway, so I'm sure she's got a better opinion on it than you. And about her point of being sexualized - what if a guy had his face photoshopped onto he-man and that guy complai…

Maybe the guy is homosexual. Maybe his boyfriend will get pissed off now that the other homosexual men in the audience may react to him differently. Who knows You even say that "a male being sexualized in a mostly male audience" is ok. HOW IS THAT OK? You literally can't make judgements about what is OK or not, because you can't empathize with each person in each scenario who "knows it better than you" and if someone…

Yeah, didn't say that was ok, I was trying to explain to you that maybe, just maybe, that scenario might make someone uncomfortable. You've decided her reason are invalid, that's not how it works.

You're complaining about her "demonizing" people, but you decided to make an account to demonize her without a shred of empathy. What's your excuse for why this bothers you so much?

Re: “Why I cancelled my ReactiveConf talk”

#19
post #6

So Eastern European. I was at an Elastic conference in Poland where there were all sorts of ads which would be considered offensive here. Like one depicting a Native American chief in full head dress spouting some vague Indian-ish proverb with a tech slant.

I hope you meant it in a good way. There's very very few good things about Eastern Europe. But the "open minded humor" and ability to both take and receive jokes that would offend others is one of the good things. Humor has rarely been "malicious" and discriminative here, like in more developed European countries or the US. EE never actually had things like slavery or serious racial discrimination (the Rroma people are a good example of that actually - they have been so well tolerated that they never actually integrated... not that that is a good thing), and communism actually brought women closer to equality status in the workplace. This made jokes that are "charged" in other places of the world be very OK here.

Yeah, it's kind of the "South Park of Europe" so you need to have a taste for this kind of thing to enjoy it.

And, unfortunately, it's disappearing... people are getting too thin-skinned and liberal-corporatist there too. And nobody can be blaimed for that either, since pulling towards the opposite direction would be pulling towards the East and that's a no no. Better thin-skinned liberal pro-European than getting even a millimeter closer whatever toxic pseudo-authoritarian concoction is brewing around Rusia nowadays...

Re: “Why I cancelled my ReactiveConf talk”

#20
post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think people might agree with you more if you wrote this in a tone that is even slightly condescending. If your approach to responding to people who disagree with you is trying to shame them for their behavior and shut them out then nobody will ever want to hear out your argument or consider it.

Not attempting to reason with someone so ideological, just want him to be aware that is viewpoint isn't ok. We need to send a message back to her that she is the one being drama and needs to grow up and be a 'real adult' like she says she is. Honestly that just sounds threatening, it's not alright.

>His viewpoint isn't okay

And yet you call upon him to act like an adult.

Anyways, I'd love to hear what defines a viewpoint as okay. Is it just the fact that it agrees with your viewpoint? I imagine you are some kind of authority on life who knows what every valid and invalid view is.

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